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Jokes

Copypasta related to an internet joke.


LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE

    Biden schol
    9:00: GAY LESON!! 9:45: how to be be GAYY!! 10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!! 11:15: GAY RECESS!! 11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!! 12:45: GAY LESON!!! 1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!! 2:15: BLM PERIOD!!! 3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!! 3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!!
    
    THIS ISWHAT LEFT WANT!

    i have a dick at 14

      YTA your dick your rules
      is it normal for a 14 yo boy to have a dick? it started growing at such a fast pace all of sudden, I am too desperate because I don't know what to do!! Should I chop the thing off??

      Am i a valid DID system?

        DID is dissociative identity disorder
        I have a system of 911,420 alters!
        
        Here are some of them ✨✨✨✨
        
        Dream (he/him/she/her/ße/ßeself/racist/racistself) (struggles from ADHD, cancer, and DID), straight, triggered by cheaters
        
        COVID-19 (mask/maskself) (struggles with being sexist), pansexual, anti vax, triggered by vaccines
        
        Margaret Thatcher (she/her/piss/pissself/Britainself) (hates Argentinian people), asexual,
        
        McDonalds Big Mac (she/her/burgerself/cum/cumself) (suffers from diarrhea), shitsexual
        
        The US State of Missouri (Missouri/Missouriself) (has OCD, Tourette’s, ADHD, Depression, DID, OSDD, Cancer, Gonorrhea, and COVID), goth, bisexual, trans, triggered by high crime rates
        
        Uncle Clarence (he/him/molesterself), gay, triggered by women (sorry!)
        
        My Toilet (it/itself/piss/pissself/shit/shitself) (has diarrhea and PTSD), pansexual, has a piss kink, triggered by plungers
        
        Joseph Stalin (he/him/Swedish Welfare System) (hates Ukrainians), asexual, triggered by food, especially wheat
        
        I hope I am valid 💕💕💕💖💖✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🖤💜💜🖤💜🖤💜 -Margaret Thatcher

        You know who else has dementia

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          COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING

            WEE WOO WEE WOO
            
            ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
            
            steps on stage
            
            Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
            
            Comedy God: "Heh..."
            
            adjusts fedora
            
            the building is filled with fear and anticipation
            
            God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
            
            comedy god clears throat
            
            everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
            
            world leaders look and wait with dread
            
            everything in the world stops
            
            nothing is happening
            
            comedy god smirks
            
            no one is prepared for what is going to happen
            
            comedy god musters all of this power
            
            he bellows out to the world
            
            "ATTACK"
            
            absolute suspense
            
            everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
            
            "HELICOPTER"
            
            all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
            
            all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
            
            giant brawls start
            
            43 wars are declared simultaneously
            
            a shockwave travels around the earth
            
            earth is driven into chaos
            
            humanity is regressed back to the stone age
            
            the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
            
            all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
            
            people who aren't killed die from laughter
            
            literally the funniest joke in the world
            
            then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma

            ⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites

              So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!