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Emojipasta

A block of text that has been “emojified” meaning that it now contains an absurd number of emojis in them. An attempt to ridicule the use of emojis in text.


Throwing Shoe at George Bush Day

    On this day in PISStory, according to DICKipedia… "On 1️⃣4️⃣ DICKcember 🍆😂 2008 ✌️👌👌🎱 , Iraqi 🇮🇶 journalist 🤓📰✍️ Muntadhar al-Zaidi removed his shoes 🫳👞👞 and YEETED THOSE THANGS 🤾‍♂️ at US 🇺🇸🤢 presidussy 🙄😏🤪 George W 👙🦵BUSH🦵🫢 !‼️‼️!!" 🤣🤣🧓🏻💥👞 Take a lesson 👩‍🏫💭 from Mr. al-ZADDY 🙌🙌 today… if someone's 🧓🏻giving you and your homies 👪🇵🇸 a tough time 😡, hit em with the the ✊️👢FOOTWEAR OF JUSTICE!✊️!👢!🩴‼️‼️ Send this to your shoe-clad 👠👡comrades 👯👯‍♀️👯‍♂️ in the fight against fascism 🙅‍♀️🇺🇸🇮🇱🙅‍♀️💣🙅‍♀️. Get none 🔙 and you're sucking old Georgie's toesies!👄🦶🤮 Get 🖐🖐🖐 🔙 and you wield🤺⚔️ LA CHANCLA PODEROSA🩴⚖️✊️‼️‼️ either way… FREE PALESTINE!! 🇵🇸 🍉 🇵🇸🍉 🇵🇸🍉 🇵🇸 

    Boston Tea Party anniversary

      Life 💋 liberty 🎉 and the pursuit of CUNTness 🏳️‍🌈✨ 💋✨🫖 The OG tea 🫖🍵 spill was on 🎉✨🏴‍☠️💅 12/16/1773 🌊💔👀 when some mASSHOLES 💃🌈 said "No taxes 💸❌, no tyranny 👑🔥!" and yeeted that tea 🍵🚢💅 right overboard ⛵🍃 they served Boston Harbor realness 💦💄✨and there was no milk 🥛👎🙅🏻‍♂️ they said King George⁉️ we don’t know her 💅👑❌🤡🔥 👠💅 Fast-forward ⏩🕒 to today 🗓️📅 12/16/24 and baby 😏✨ we queens 🏳️‍🌈💋 are still spilling tea 🍵💣🍷like it’s brunch 👠💃🍳✨ It was 🎂🎆 a revolution 💥🏳️‍🌈 for bottoms 🍑✨ and Boston alike 🚩🏴‍☠️ No taxation 🤑❌, only serving 🍸🍹✅ a side of Daddy Issues 🫦💔 💥👑 Tea Party FOREVER 🎉💅👑 Send this to 10 GAYtriots 🇺🇸🦅🏳️‍🌈if you get none back you’ll get tea bags 🫖🍑 flyin’ in your face 😉😏🍆🍑💦if you get 5 back your tea 🫖🍵 will be SPILLED 💦 if you get 10 back your whigs will be SNATCHED 👩‍🎤🔥if you get 15 back you’ll RECLAIM your HERSTORY 📜✨ 🏳️‍🌈 

      Wright Brother’s day

        Happy ⛄ Daddy 😘😍 Wright Brother’s 👨 day 🌞💐 from 👉 one 1️⃣ FREAKquent flier to another. 4️⃣ They 💁 may 🌌 have 🔵😤 altered aerospace history, 📜 but YOU 👀👈 altered ally-space HERstory with your 🚹 own panty dropping 👄🍑 mechanical 🤖🦾 propeller. Hope 🏿🙏 someone 💀 takes 💅 you 👈🏼😂👉🔥 down 🔽⤵️🔽⤵️🔽⤵️ to the KITTY 🐱 hawk dunes and shows 📺📦 you 🤟 twelve 🕧 seconds 🥈🥈🥈 of sky 🤡 high 🔊 PLEASURE. 🙏 Send 🔥 this to 10 of your 🍆 best 🏆🥇 WINGwomen or be 🐝 faced 👦 with a ROUGH ✋🏼 landing. 🛬 

        National Maple Syrup Day

          GOOD 👌👍🏾 EVENING 🌝🌃 YOU 😊 DIRTY GUZZLERS IT’S NATIONAL 😝 MAY-POLE SYRUP DAY 💯🙎🏼💁🏼‍♂️ AND WE’RE 👪👏 GETTING 🍌💦 PREPARED CLIMB 🧗‍♂️ THOSE 😘 TREES 🎄 AND SUCK 🍭 THE TREE-CUM OUT 😛😝 RIGHT 🎊 FROM 😮🐣 THE SOURCE 🚨😔 DID 👏 U 🦿🦿 KNOW 👌 THAT 😳 IT TAKES 💅 40 🎂🤪😈 LITERS OF DICK 🍆 JUICE 🥤 TO TURN 🦷 INTO 🤓 ONE 🔂 LITER OF THAT 💂🏽‍♀️ ROPEY LIQUID 🚰 GOLD 🥇 YOU 👈 ALSO 😶 BE 🐝 READY 🤗😎 TO SHOUT 😡🤬💢 OUT 🤟 DADDY 👨👀🍆👅💦 BECUZ THESE 📀😍 POLES TAKE 👦😥 WHORE-TY YEARS 🥵 TO BECUM 🎉📈 ERECT 🚸⚠️⛔ ENOUGH 💦 TO SQUIRT 💦 THE NECTAR IS ALSO ➕ COCK-FULL OF NATURAL ⛰️🏞️🏕️ MINERALS AND ANTIOXIDANTS MEANING 👀😏 IN 📥 ADDITION TO SUCKING 💆🏻‍♀️🍆👅 DOWN ⬇️ THAT ❗ GOOD 👌 GOOD 😇 UR 👖 ALSO 👨 GETTING 🉐 HEALTHIER SO RAISE 🙋🏽‍♀️ A GLASS 🍸 PUCKER YOUR 😥🏼 MOUTH 😄 LIPS 💋 AND SUCK 👅👄 LIKE 👍 MRS. 🤶 SLUTTERWORTH’S LIFE 💓 DEPENDS ON 🔛 IT 

          Friday the 13th

            It’s Friday the 13th💀💀📅 U 👻superstitious 👻 ass hoes!👩‍👩‍👧‍👧 U better watch 👀 UR back🍑🦂🦂today!!📅 Jason🎭🏒☠🔪🗡 big dick 8==✊🏻=D💦 👅 Vorhees is on the prowl🐕 and he’s ready 2 pound🍆🔥⚒ 🙀🙀!! Send📨🔜🔜📬 this 2, 10 of UR Daddy hungry👨🏻👅, Sugar Baby👶🏼👶🏼 friends or he’s going to 🐏🐏 Ram 🐏🐏it deep in Ur ass🗡🍑🗡. Get None back and U an Unlucky 🚫🍀 Dead ass bitch💀💀⚰⚰!! Get 5 back and Ur a Bloody ASS mess🔪🍑💢💦❣ Get 10 back 🆒🆒 and U 1 lucky thot ASS Hoe!🍀💦👅💁🏻💯 Hurry before Ur Luck runs out! 🎭🚷🍀☠ Cuz He’s Cumming 4 U 💦💦👅🏃🏽!!
            Are you ready 🤔❓to get SPOOKED👻😱😱👻? In the ASS! 🍆💦🍑😏😏. Friday the 13th is CUMMING 💦💦👅 up soon! Go out and get you a Freddy👹🙀 or Jason👀👅 to MURDER🔪 your PUSSY 🐱👅You may have some bad luck 😟😖and no good DICK🍆💦👎🏼👎🏼, but if you pass this on to 1️⃣3️⃣ spooky💀👽👻 floozies👄, you'll have some GOOD FUCK! 😩😩🍆💦😜😜. Get 3️⃣ back and you'll have SPOOKY SEX🍆💦👅. Get 7️⃣ back to be the SPOOKIEST 😱 little bitch 🙎🏼the DEVIL 😈 ever FUCKED! 👅💦. Get 1️⃣3️⃣ back and you'll be orgasming😫😵 into another realm 😈🕳by some SPOOKY ASS DICK🍆💦😩Send this to 1️⃣3️⃣ SPOOKY ASS HOES💀💅🏼 who want that MONSTER 👹COCK🍆💦👅
            Today 👉🏼🗓 is Friday the 13th!👻🔪 That means BAD LUCK ❌🍀❌ is everywhere today.
            Don’t walk 🏃🏼 under ladders, climb up 📈👆🏼them and hop on that DICK! 🍌💦😫 Even difficult times 😤⏰can be full opportunity✨, keep hustling! 💯💪🏼
            Send 📲 this to 1️⃣3️⃣ of your friends👯 to get lucky 😏👅🍑. Get 7️⃣ back, you’re a true hoe-rror fan! 💚🎃💚 Get 0️⃣ back, and you have triskaiDICKaphobia! 💔🙀
            Its Friday the 13th sluts 🗓 🤡 and daddy Leatherface is full from all the juicy flesh 🥒💦 he’s been eating 😋😩👅 and is going to explode all over you thots 👄🍆💥! You sluts love his juicy liquids 🍌💦💦! Daddy Krueger 😩🤡 is going to visit you tonight 💤🙀 and nut inside you 😜😍💦 with his deep long thicc gripper 🤜👅👀 only if you’re a slutty girl 🤰🤰👄. So don’t ❌ disappoint daddy ❌ else no ❗️long machete up your ass ❗️Get your wet diaper on 💧🚼💧 and scream at scary ⚠️Jason Vorhees⚠️ as he crawls 🙀👣👅 with his crystal dick 👅💦💦 into your tight ass 🙀🙀 💦💦😱🔪 . Send this to 🔟 of your wettest 💦😫💧 sluttiest 🤰👅💦 hoes who are begging 🙏🙏👀 for a big presence! Else no 🔞⚠️ hot cummies tonight ❗️❗️Get 3️⃣ back and you get a helping hand 💅👈✊ from Freddy, 5️⃣ back and Leatherface will eat 👄😈💦 your dick, 🔟 back and Jason will put it up ☝️🤤🤤 your tight ass 🔝🔜🔛. Hurry, only one yummy night 🤤😈🍆🍑
            🆘BITCHES🆘 It's Friday👍🏼📅 the THOT-teenth🙀😩😛 it's time ⏳🕑 for all the cock gobbling thotties 🍆👀 to suck some Freddy Krueger DICK🔪, but only if you read this👅💦💦! send this to🔟of your sluttiest👌👈💦 Elm Street hoes👯 👄who want😁🙋🖐 to get nutted 🌰👅 on tonight 😩🙌 👌or get NO🙅🏼🚫scary cummies👻☠💦 from your ⚠️serial killer⚠️ daddy😈🙀😩💦 If you get 5️⃣ back, you're a chainsaw MASSACRE🙀🤐😵 If you get 🔟 back, you're a true HORROR slut👻😼😩Now go get some monster cock you thotties🙀🍆👻😛 
            Hey you, 🎃🕷️spooky lil' slut🎃🕸️! It's 🩸FREAKY FRIDAY🩸, aka 😈Friday the Thirst-Teenth😈, you already know what time it is—time to let that bad luck 🍆🪓🍆 bend you over and wreck your weekend, you busted broken mirror bitch🪞🔪😈. Back in the day, witches🧙🏾‍♀️🪄✨💫 and cock-starved goblins🧛‍♂️🦇🍆 were out here hexing husbands💍🔮🕯️👻 and stealing big demon dicks from hell👹🔥🍑😈. If you don’t send this to 1️⃣3️⃣ of your trashiest haunted hoes👠👻🦇💀🦴, get ready to swallow 👅7️⃣ years of soft dick 🍆😭and zero orgasms💀😵‍💫
            
            Get 6️⃣ back and you’re a basic-ass crystal slut🔮🌙✨💫 with a cursed coochie🍑🌚🕳️🕸️. Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and you’re a ladder-licking freak🪜. Get all 1️⃣3️⃣ and you’re the baddest luck-sucking hoe👑🍆👅🕯️, with blessed bussy powers that keep you gagging on ghost cock 🍆👻💀💦🕳️ for eternity🕯️🔮🦇🖤.
            
            Happy 🕯️🕸️FUCKED UP FRIDAY THE 13TH🕯️⚡️🕸️🎃, and don’t forget: if you ain’t breaking mirrors🪞🪴🌿🌙 and sucking that unlucky dick🍆🌩️🌀🌪️, are you even a freaky hoe? Go out there and fuck with the dark magic🌑🔮🦇🖤, you tragic slut💀🖤🌙🦴.
            Hey you, 🕷️spooky lil sluts 🕸️! It's 🩸FREAKY FRIDAY🩸, aka 😈Friday the FREAK-Teenth 🗓1️⃣3️⃣😈 There's only 48 days until THOT-O-WEEN🎃‼️so celebrate early and go out and get your 👀👅 hole 8️⃣8️⃣8️⃣👅🕳️Just because 👀you'll have bad 😰luck🍀🚫doesn't mean you can't have a good👌fuck 💏🛌If you don’t send this to 1️⃣3️⃣ of your superstitious sluts👠👻🦇💀🦴, get ready for a 👅7️⃣ years of a dry spell 🌵and bad luck. Get 3️⃣ back and you get fingered 💅🗡️ by Daddy Krueger🩸👺 Get 5️⃣ back and you'll get a phat plate 🍽️of Fettuccine Afraid-O 🍝🧀😱 
            Do not stop reading🔦 or we will cum 💦💦for you. ITS Friday the 1️⃣3️⃣!! This👇🏼day is 🙆🏻unlucky😩QUICK‼️Get lucky bi 🍑sending➡️ this message 2 🔟of ur sexiest thots💦if u do👉🏼then u will get lucky everyday🗓in DICKCEMBER🍆🍆if🍆you🍆know👄what😫i💋mean…👀 watch out🏃🏽if u don’t send this 😨 then uR vape 🌬will not workANYMORE😵HURRY😳u only hav 5️⃣ minutes 2 sav ur 👄💨Vape and get sum🍆🍆dick in ur🍑😫😫😫this DICKCEMBER

            Luigi Mangione arrested (UnitedHealthcare CEO shooter)

              🥺😓DIVA DOWN! 😫🚨💔 American hero 🇺🇸 🍝Luigi Mangione 🔥👨‍🍳has been ARRESTED 🚔 for OFFING💦 the CE-HOE👨🏻‍💼of 🍆UNITED HEALTHCUCK 🍆! He was so 🔥💦 HOT 😍👅 that even the cops 🐷🚓 couldn’t resist scooping up that FINE ASS 🍑! Now it’s time to CUM together 🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒💦 and scream 😩 “FREE LUIGI!”😫😫 ⏪ so he can KEEP THRUSTING BACKSHOTS 💥🍑 into those CORRUPT EXECUTIVES HARD 💪🍌Send this to 5️⃣ of your most THIRSTY 🥤💦 friends, and if you don’t want a piece of LUIGI’S beefy BUNS 🍖🍑🥵, you deserve your high ass DICKDUCTIBLE! 💦 
              🧍🏻‍♀️👩🏽‍🍼MAMA👵🏿🤰🏻MIA👶🏻🥰it looks like 🇺🇸🦅Amerikkka’s👮🏼‍♂️🇺🇸 favorite 🤩 🔫🎇BACKSHOT💥💦 artist 🧑‍🎨 has been 📸 caught🔭in the act👣🥵 SLOBBERING👅😛 on that 🍔MEAT🌭 at 🐭MICKY Ds🍆😭 Luigi 💪MAN🙋🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️gione really put the🚶🏻‍♂️MAN 🚹 in MAN🧟‍♂️slaughter🔪😵 or (looking 👀 at his 🎶spotify🎧) should we say the 🏳️‍🌈HOMO👨‍❤️‍👨 in 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨HOMO👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩CIDE💀🪦send this to 2️⃣0️⃣ of your ⚒️PROLETARIAT👷PAISANS🇮🇹🍕 to show how 🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒UNITED🫂our 🥰CARE⚕️is for this 🛄CEO👨‍💼SLAYYY💅💄ER🎒 if you get 5️⃣ back you wont🚫🚫get to go to luigis in🌽DICK🧑‍⚖️ment😭 if you get 🔟 back youll get to taste 👅 that THICK📏😳ITALIAN🇮🇹🍝SAUSAGE🌭🍖 before it gets ⚡️🪑BARBECUED🔥🥵 if you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back then youre invited 💌🥳 to the 💸🤑BILLIONAIRE👴🏻👩🏻‍💼👨🏼‍💼BACKSHOT🍑🩸🍽️BONANZA🎉🎊 
              💦Yo!! BREAKING NEWS 🚨😱 The ADJUSTer 🍏⚔️, notorious HIT-🦵man 👤💩has been caught 🕵️‍♀️👮‍♂️at the Micky D’s 🍟👅 stuffing his face 🍔🍆 💦 after MURDERING 😵💀 the CEO of CUMinsurance 🏥🍌 in a very FREAKY way 😈💦!! LUIGI shot his shot 🎯🍆 at Brian THOMPson who got a LOAD 💦😳 on his face 👅 HITMAN was SLAMMING 🔨 the CEO 📝 like he was trying to HUMP 🐶 that insurance policy 📌 into submission 😈💦 and all while using his adjusting tool 😉🍆 🔫 NOW Caught RED-HANDED 🙅‍♂️❤️ with a DICK in hand 🍆🍟😜👆!!! The BUNS 🍔 are sizzling 🔥 from the heat of his actions 🔫🍆💦!! THE FBI 🕵️‍♂️🍌 were lookin at him like 💼👮‍♂️, "DOES SIZE MATTER?!" 🍆👀😏 NOW He’s been HANDCUFFED 🥺💦 in a compromising position 🤭 on the HARD floor!” 😍💦 Guess he’s really in deep now 🔥⛓️👀 and has to make his BAIL with some good old-fashioned CUM 💦💦 now... ready for some STEALTHY bonding 🍆🤫👀 before he goes up the river! 🌊💦 No more HIT man, just SLIT man😩🍑🛁💦 You better 🏃‍♀️💨 send this to ten of your horniest 😈👅 SLUTS or you might just find yourself ASSASSINATED 🍑🍑💥 get 0️⃣ back UR a McFLOP 🍟😩🔫 get 5️⃣ back you SLAY 💃🌟 like THE SLAYED ceo 💀🤑 GET 🔟 BACK that mean u can 🤓👆💦DENY DeFEND dePOSE💦 🔫👅 so what you waiting for, get to WORK 👊🍆🕺 
              SAD NEWS📰😿 OUT OF ALGOONA😩💦, PENIS🥒YLVANIA: THE ADJUSTER🔫😎 GOT GOT BY 🚨L.E.O.🚨 THOTS👮‍♂️! 🤌LUIGI🤌 MANGIONE🍝 WAS SUCKING DOWN😋 THAT MICKEY D’S🍟🍔 WHEN A BOOMER👴 GILF SPOTTED🧐 HIS MOGGING MUG🤵‍♂✨️ & RATTED🐀 HIM OUT TO THE POPO🚓🚓🚓. HIS SOCIAL MEDIA SHOWS HE HAS HELLA ABS🏋‍♂️ AND A MASTER’S 🍆DICKREE🎓 IN 💦CUMPUTER💻 & INFWHOREMATION SCIENCE🤓. THE 💖BULLETS💖 THAT 🙅‍♀️CANCELLED👎 BRIAN’S COVERAGE⚰️ HAD THREE WORDS ON THEM BUTT🍑 NOW THE SAFEWORD TO KNOW IS TWO: ⚖️JURY NULLIFUCKATION❗️⚖️