I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Shugoki. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful breasts. The child bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, pass my genes through him, and have him birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get shugoki pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Ubisoft create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
It’s pretty self evident once you think about it. They are merchants who love emeralds (their currency) and they have big noses. Golems are a part of jewish tradition; it is said that the most powerful rabbis were able to summon golems, so the fact that villagers can summon them too also adds to the theory. It is also worth mentioning how the player is incentivised to build camps where villagers are kept in horrible conditions, and those who can’t work are discarded.
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Hey guys, did you know in terms of human and Pokémon breeding, neither Vaporeon or Umbreon are the most compatible for humans? I'm actually quite disgusted at the amount of misinformation going around this community relating to them. They're actually both outclassed by another one of their Eeveelutions, Glaceon. Both genders, too. Let me explain. Glaceon is 2 feet and 7 inches tall in height, giving it the perfect composure to fuck. It weighs approximately 57.1 pounds, giving it a small enough weight to move around during fucking, but also enough to not feel too light or too heavy when you're using your dick on it. Glaceon's stat spread is also incredibly versatile for sex, with incredible Defense and Special Defense. It has lackluster Attack, but the best part is its Special Attack. You'll see why later. As an ice type, having such good defenses is incredibly rare. You also might be thinking, "but your dick would freeze inside of its puss-puss!" This is not true! Here is its Pokédex entry from Pokémon Sun, circa 2016. "It can control its body temperature at will. This enables it to freeze the moisture in the atmosphere, creating flurries of diamond dust." Glaceon can control its body temp at will, so if you don't want your dick to be frozen, you can create the perfect environment for dicking it down by telling it to change its temperature! This way, you can fuck it in so many different ways, temperatures, and more! Now onto its moves, which are also incredibly useful for sex. By level up, it learns Helping Hand. This allows it to increase your fucking power by double, increasing your pleasure times two! It also learns Bite, meaning it can get freaky and tune to whatever shit you like in the bed. Best of all, it can use MIRROR COAT. This means whenever you cum, it can double back the pleasure like a special attack, meaning you'll feel all the pleasure IT had during sex times TWO! Combine this with Helping Hand and you'll be turned into a human cum nozzle! Glaceon also learns Barrier, which if used just thrice, turns it into a massively defensive tank, so it can take physical attacks for days, literal fucking days! It can also use Hail. Now, if you use it outside, it will Hail outside. Go back inside and the Hail won't affect you! Best of all, combine the Hail with Glaceon's ability Ice Body, and it will gradually replenish it's Health Points during a hailstorm! This means it will NEVER fucking stop enduring all your "hits," so you can fuck it over and over and over, combining this with Barrier, and you could probably fuck it for 24 hours straight, if not more! It also learns Baby Doll Eyes, Charm, Captivate, and Yawn, allowing it to get itself right in the mood, along with you too! It even learns Fake Tears, Covet, and Tickle, allowing you to roleplay with it if you're in the mood. It even learns Stored Power, meaning if it uses enough Barriers, it can release all of the Defensive energy it has into, you guessed it, fucking SPECIAL ATTACK!!! And with its absolutely GODLY special attack stat, you'll be drowning in waves of pleasure due to this attack! And it doesn't get rid of the Barrier boosts, so as long as you have enough ethers, it can do this over and over WHILE you're fucking it! Hell, it even learns attract, which makes you fall so deeply in love with it that you'll be in a trance of fucking! It can take charge with that as well and use your love to make it fuck it how IT wants! Which means it's not just pleasurable for you, it's also pleasurable for your Glaceon! It even learns Aurora Veil, which in the Hail, protects it even fucking MORE from taking too much damage! Combine this with Ice Body and Barrier and you can fuck it for decades without either of you ever getting tired! Glaceon also learns refresh, so if that wasn't enough, it can never get sick while you're fucking it, protecting you from any and all STIs and STDs! I rest my case, Glaceon is the BEST Pokémon you can fuck. :)
Melusines are really important for Fontaine! They play a major role in the economy of the country. One of the reasons is their pride, they want to be seen as hardworker and loyal but they are all small and cute!
Melusines comes in all sort of colors! The interesting part is the taste of both the tip of their antenna and sweat is different based on it! Fascinating is it not?
The laws of Fontaine consider Melusines the equal of Humans so it's possible to have a colleague Melusines, or better, a partner as I have!
You see one of those hardworking Melusines is my wife, Elphane, my pink godess. I fell in love the first time we met, sunset on the horizon, alone on the aquabus.
I proposed to her right away (Melusines are very cute), at first she was confused, but she quickly whispered yes under her breath and made me the happiest man in the world as the sun faded out.
She is so cute, behind her strong hardworking Melusine façade hides a shy and cute wife! In fact everytime she sees me she cries tears of joy, it's sad im a busy man so I can't see her everyday. I have to leave after I made sure she understands how much I love her!
Recently I noticed people in blue stalking her, they must have noticed how cute melusines are (as I did). But I was angry at them, as cute as Melusines are Elphane is MY wife! I went to our home to have a talk with her about the creeps stalking her, she was very scared as I told her so I had to calm her. You see my wife is very noisy every time we do it (she is very shy), the creeps must have taken this opportunity to attack me and my wife! In our own home!
I tried to defend my crying wife but they knocked me out! I woke up to something called a "trial" I screamed about how "Melusines are small and frail" and what I would do to them if they ever touched my adorable wife Elphane!
And then... I saw her on the other side of the room, they made her cry! I went in a blind rage! I don't remember exactly what happened next, I remember a small blue brat screaming nonsense like "Aggravated assault" (?) and other dumb stuff like "sexual harassment" and "sexual assault". What I remember clearly is when she said I had a "restraining order" on my wife and every Melusines! DO YOU BELIEVE THIS! How can any normal men resist the urge to get closer to something as cute as a Melusine! They also said I must be locked in a place called "jail" for 20 years! 20 YEARS without seeing ANY Melusines! This is a crime against life itself! I swear I won't stay there for long! I'll leave, correct this stupid blue brat and get as far as possible with MY wife Elphane!
I will take her to see the world and the world will look back! Everyone must see how cute Melusines are! They will!
8:30 (before school): Watching Skibidi Toilet with friends
9am: Little dark age edit making class
10am: Rizzonomics Class (Kai Cenat is teacher)
11am: Looksmaxxing class
12am: Lunch (McDonalds grimace shake from Ohio)
1pm: Bussin Gyatt Studies
2pm: Ohio History
3pm: L Rizz Awareness Seminar
4pm: Baltimore Language class
