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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


My balls are just so ludicrously big!

    My balls are just so ludicrously big! It's like two basketballs in a sack, when I shower I spend at least half the time just cleaning them as they swing like pendulums against my thighs! I need specialty clothes just for them because they burst through anything else! It looks like I'm packing a mile of meat but even though my dick is huge it's all my balls! Whenever I try to jerk off my dick feels like it's rent asunder as gallons burst out! I need to contain it in jars which i donate to the sperm bank because the simply gargantuan amount would clog my toilet! I don't need a chair to sit down outside, I just sit on my titanic balls and feel them slosh! I once had a girlfriend who I nearly suffocated by accidentally dropping my balls onto her face when I tried to have sex with her! It's like a full beanbag between my thighs and the sweat is outrageous, I need to use a full towel every time i wipe my balls, and even then I can't get the bottom! They're just too colossally large for my body! They're so big that I need to get medical checkups solely for my balls or the doctor would run out of time checking my simply gargantuan, shiny, testicles! The sperm bank my area has an entire tank just for me! I can use them as an emergency floatation device in the pool! My balls are classified as an entirely new medical condition and my pubic hair is so big that I have to shave it and wash it with shampoo! My balls are legally classified as a deadly weapon after I killed a thief withthem by tripping onto him! They're bigger than my head! Once I fell off a cliff but my balls were so strong that when I landed on them they weren't injured at all! The smell of sweat that emenates from them is so powerful that I have three industrial fans blowing at my balls whenever I sit down! I don't wear clothes at home because when I'm naked I can use them as a desk for my laptop! My testicles are so big that there's at least a gallon of cum in them EACH! My mother thought she had twins but the second baby was my giant balls! I slept at a friend's house and they asked to use my balls as a pillow but they fell into the hair and had to be surgically removed! When I run clothed they tear through and everyone can see them swing like a collosal pendulum! I have enough cum in my impossibly large nuts to impregnate millions of women! My nutsack is so large that it takes a minute for it to stop swinging after i poke it!

    In terms of male human and female YuGiOh monster breeding, the Tearlaments are the most compatible monsters

      Hey guys. Did you know, in terms of male human and female YuGiOh monster breeding, the Tearlaments are the most compatible monsters for humans? Not only are they in the mermaids group, which is mostly comprised of hot womens, Tearlaments are an average of 5”7 tall and 115.9 pounds, this means they’re perfect for human dicks, and with their impressive resilient to handtraps for durability and ability to reconstruct their whole board after getting raigeki, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based attribute, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Kitkallos would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore.

      Fellas, is it normal to be attracted to your cards?

        Source
        Alright.I know this sounds dumb.
I know waifu decks existed and it's normal for people to be physically attracted to them.Tears, Dmaid, sky strikers...... but this is different.
So, recently, I picked up this deck, called floowandereeze.
Half of you gus probably already knew what deck is this.The bird stun deck that normal summons a lot with the lore of 3 traveling birds who went from north to south pole.Nothing remotely arousing about this, right?
Or so I've thought.
So, I heard about the deck, got the cards, and hopped on a few rounds of casual matches...
Then I got utterly clapped.Due to me not even looking at the card once.
I posted about that on reddit and people told me to look at the card and see the effects, so i did.
Nothing interesting there, just some normal effects with some cute card arts of these birds-
Than I saw her.
Yes, the one with a hat.She probably doesn't have a name, since the wiki just says she's a part of the 'floowandereeze' species, but that's fine.I would just call her floo, since, well, that's a cute name for a girl bird like her.
Well, in the moment I focused on her, something inside me triggered.My heart rate skyrockets, my face blushes......
I'm in love.
I am not a furry, but I've always been interested in birds.Having an ornithologist father, I was taught to love birds like family since I was a little kid.Dad would bring me to different fields and let me sketch those beautiful little angels while he does his research.Growing up,the love of birds inside me only grows.
But not like this.
Floo was different.She didn't gave me the 'nice bird!' type of fascination.Maybe it's the cute, simple eyes, maybe it's her cute hairstyle that coincidentally matches with my highschool crush, but I am falling in love with her.In a romantic way.
Me, a fucking adult male, is falling for a fictional bird from a children's card game who doesn't even have an official name.
This is beyond shameful.I know this is highly immoral and my parents would probably disown me if they found out my forbidden love towards floo, but I can't resist it.I desperately tried to search for art of her but I just couldn't find it.I crave her.I wish to turn into a bird and build a nest with her, nesting a whole bunch of babies.I NEED her.
After reading more cards and closely inspecting her, the passion that's burning inside me only became stronger.Her sassy, cheery attitude and dainty figure arouses something deep inside me.It's not the desire of body, rather than soul.I need her more after that.I wish she's real. Floo is now my life.I spent hours drawing her and sticking printed images of her and those paintings on the walls of my room so I could watch floo 24/7.I called sick so that I could play with floo on master duel.I am even spending money on an IRL floo deck just to make her sleep with me physically every night.
It's crazy how one cute girl could change a man in a period this short.
Is this normal?Heard some yugioh players also does this and they are doing fairly well...

        I used to jerk off to Angry Birds

          On May 14 2024, the official Angry Birds Twitter account reposted someone’s tweet with the “I used to jerk off to angry birds” copypasta. The internet made memes about it and they shortly released a statement apologizing for their mistake 

          I used to jerk off to angry birds. When I was about 13 l loved angry birds and I had every game and bought every toy they had. One day, I was playing Angry Birds, when all of a sudden, the big red bird turned me on. I couldn't stand it. I was going crazy. I decided to pull out my big, long, thick and girthy willy and started jerking I never had felt so good. I soon continued to do this daily and never got bored of it. That big red bird was so hot and those little blue ones were some cuties. I am glad to admit I still do this to this very day.

          I sexually Identify as an Onii-chan.

            I sexually Identify as an Onii-chan. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of having sugoku kawaii imouto-chans and then fucking them silly. People say to me that a person being an Onii-chan is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon attach a kawaii radar and my little sister to my crotch. From now on I want you guys to call me Onii-chan and respect my right to fuck all sogoku kawaii imotou-chans. If you can't accept me as an Onii-chan, you're a Oniiphobe and need to check your sogokukawaiiimouto and the virginity of your child privileges. Thank you for understanding.

            Archer Queen

              Cursed Clash Royale copypasta
              HOG RIDAAA
              I just get so hard looking at her. I would let her shoot arrows into my dick hole and have her cut my dick off and smush it into a soup and make me drink it just to get a little nibble of her pinkie toe. I literally cannot sleep because i just cant stop jerking my dick to her. Holy shit i think already i busted 20 times while writing this. She is just so fucking hot. I cant go to school without having to jerk off in the bathroom. I have to do my homework while jerking off. I get cum all over my paper.

I have done countless cum tributes to archer queen, i even have a fan game where you fuck her until she dies. I want her to come out of clash royale and just stomp my dick into the ground. I would be her toilet forever if i could just see her dirty stinky feet and make her rub it all over my face. I am a pig and her feet are piles of mud.

I cant play my favorite game clash royale because every time she spawns I instantly cum everywhere. I try to hold it back but i cant. I would suck every goblins dick in the goblin gang just to have her shit stained feet be rubbed all over my dick and my face.

Holy shit i dont know how much longer i can go anymore. I used to have my girlfriend dress up as the archer queen and have her shit all over me while jerking my dick with her stinky feet but it just wouldnt be the same. She broke up with me and now i have no one to cosplay as the archer queen. At least my archer queen flesh light is still with me.

I seriously think about just killing that stupid barbarian king. He is getting to fuck her every minute while im here with a dick drenched in cum. I fucking hate him. He gets to lick her feet. I DONT. This is not fair. I will smash his skull into the ground and take the archer queen and have her queef all over me. I would never shower again to keep the smell of her queefs on me.

I would cut off the archer queens feet so i could turn it into a flesh light and have it jerk me off every second of my life. God it would be so hot. Just her stinky little piggies rubbing all over my cock. I would be the hog, and her feet would be the rider.

              Holy shit i want to pound the shit out of the archer queen asshole

              I just get so hard looking at her. I would let her shoot arrows into my dick hole and have her cut my dick off and smush it into a soup and make me drink it just to get a little nibble of her pinkie toe. I literally cannot sleep because i just cant stop jerking my dick to her. Holy shit i think already i busted 20 times while writing this. She is just so fucking hot. I cant go to school without having to jerk off in the bathroom. I have to do my homework while jerking off. I get cum all over my paper.

I have done countless cum tributes to archer queen, i even have a fan game where you fuck her until she dies. I want her to come out of clash royale and just stomp my dick into the ground. I would be her toilet forever if i could just see her dirty stinky feet and make her rub it all over my face. I am a pig and her feet are piles of mud.

I cant play my favorite game clash royale because every time she spawns I instantly cum everywhere. I try to hold it back but i cant. I would suck every goblins dick in the goblin gang just to have her shit stained feet be rubbed all over my dick and my face.

Holy shit i dont know how much longer i can go anymore. I used to have my girlfriend dress up as the archer queen and have her shit all over me while jerking my dick with her stinky feet but it just wouldnt be the same. She broke up with me and now i have no one to cosplay as the archer queen. At least my archer queen flesh light is still with me.

I seriously think about just killing that stupid barbarian king. He is getting to fuck her every minute while im here with a dick drenched in cum. I fucking hate him. He gets to lick her feet. I DONT. This is not fair. I will smash his skull into the ground and take the archer queen and have her queef all over me. I would never shower again to keep the smell of her queefs on me.

I would cut off the archer queens feet so i could turn it into a flesh light and have it jerk me off every second of my life. God it would be so hot. Just her stinky little piggies rubbing all over my cock. I would be the hog, and her feet would be the rider.