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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.

Best way to hide your cum

    r/ShittyLifeProTips
    Have you ever wondered how to hide your cum if you live with parents and don't want them getting suspicious after seeing tissues in the garbage or cum on the towel! well I have the right tips for you, So, what do you have to do? simple, first off all remove the keycaps off of your keyboard, then get a pen, take the pen , using the pen, type in some porn (remember the keycaps are off that's why we're using a pen) and then start jerking off, and you hit the climax, just cum in your switches. That way the cum would be hidden and your switches would be lubricated (meaning they would be smoother and quieter), it's a win-win situation!

    REAL LEGO sex

      cursed
      I wish I could watch LEGO have sex, ya know? And I'm talking about REAL sex, not some guy clacking these little people against each other against their will. I want to see sentient LEGO people have consensual sex. And I want it to be a very voyeuristic experience. I don't want the LEGO people to know I'm watching them, to know that I know they come alive when no one is around. I want to peep on them. I want them to go into the little sex house I built for them and have nasty, wild LEGO sex. That's what I want to see. Is that so hard? Is that so much to ask?

      why are Pokémon so fucking hot?

        This isn’t a copypasta this is just a fact
        gardevoir is just so hot. i spend hours a day jacking off to her mommy milkers. i wish i was a trainer so i could have sex with her. it’s so forbidden which makes it so hot. i want her to pin me to the ground and force me to have sex with her so badly i want her to have forced sex with me for hours i want her to make me eat her pussy for hours. i want her to make me her sex slave and we will have mind blowing sex all the time. i want her to peg me with a massive fucking dildo. gardevoir is so hot i want her to breed me so badly. 🥵🥵🥵

        What if someone farted in the trojan horse

          True story I was there
          God, that'd be so fucking hot. Someone rips a fat, musty fart in the confined, tiny space you're in. You have no escape. The smell overwhelms your nostrils as you're forced to breathe in that smelly egg fart from a strong, Greek man. Your eyes water, your cock throbs. The smell in the room slowly goes away, and you notice. Desperate for that arousal to intensify you grip your cock and begin furiously jerking off. You jizz a load so hard it nearly alerts the Trojans about the truth of the horse. After that, you swore never to speak of this event.

          I sexually Identify as the “I sexually identify as an attack helicopter” joke.

            There is no god😰
            I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

            ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS! There is a CUM alert!

              ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS! ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS!
              ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS! ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS!

There is a CUM alert in aisle 4!

Someone came all over the floor. There is cum everywhere. You cannot stand in aisle 4 without seeing or feeling semen. The amount of sperm and ejaculate in aisle 4 is simply unnatural. Please for the love of God, we need a cleanup in aisle 4. This lagoon of cum must have been produced by a fucking blue whale. Oh God I can smell it. The cum has invaded my nostrils. There is so much cum. I cannot see. It's all white. Everything. White. Mom please help. SOS. Someone call 911, or 411, or a scientist I don't know. I'm gargling noises drowning- in- more thick phlegm gargling cum! dial tone