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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


I sexually Identify as the “I sexually identify as an attack helicopter” joke.

    There is no god😰
    I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

    ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS! There is a CUM alert!

      ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS! ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS!
      ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS! ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS!

There is a CUM alert in aisle 4!

Someone came all over the floor. There is cum everywhere. You cannot stand in aisle 4 without seeing or feeling semen. The amount of sperm and ejaculate in aisle 4 is simply unnatural. Please for the love of God, we need a cleanup in aisle 4. This lagoon of cum must have been produced by a fucking blue whale. Oh God I can smell it. The cum has invaded my nostrils. There is so much cum. I cannot see. It's all white. Everything. White. Mom please help. SOS. Someone call 911, or 411, or a scientist I don't know. I'm gargling noises drowning- in- more thick phlegm gargling cum! dial tone

      I’m not gay but

        This is classic r/NYYankees pasta that turned into Kanye
        I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.

        Can we mass send memes to the Taliban

          360 no scope from a tree while I peee
          Like what if we get a small part of this sub to send memes to taliban accounts on twitter to lobotomize them. We get them too busy browsing reddit to actually plan shit and we make them waste their day watching memes.

Imagine there's this taliban sniper about to take out a child when all of a sudden he remembers "peter griffin halal ben shapiro cringe القرف haram turtle swanson القرف free no virus no download 100% gratis 2013 (ملحمة ساءت)", he laughs and he misses the shot. Or a suicide bomber accidentally setting off the vest because he mistook the remote for his mouse while trying to replay a video. Or maybe we get them to become lazy as fuck and all they do bow is share memes.

We must feed the Taliban memes Basically, epic reddit do your thing make the talibans retarded like you

          I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter

            Origin
            I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

            Potter, a moment of your time, please.

              First posted in 4chan and then reposted in Reddit.
              Source
              Potter, a moment of your time, please.

Someone has been stealing ingredients that could be used to make polyjuice potions.

I know, I know. "It wasn't me professor, I would never transform into a girl and masturbate to find out how it feels", I've heard this little song and dance before.

When I was your age I was the same. Did I ever tell you I stole your mother's hair regularly? I became quite adept at stealth and potions for this precise reason. To transform into your mother and pleasure myself.

There is this mirror... or there was, at any rate, I can't seem to find it anymore, that showed you your fondest wish. I would transform into your mother, look into that mirror and watch myself make love to her while your father watched, helpless to change anything

Those were the best orgasms of my life, Potter. One day things went wrong,

Before I could find my way to a safe spot, your father found me, and thinking me Lily proceeded to fondle me

It felt good, Potter. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest

You know that polyjuice potion doesn't change your voice, of course. Yet James Potter never suspected a thing when I didn't speak. He smiled and said I was learning.

Oh I learned alright. I learned never to touch polyjuice potion again. Not because I feared such a thing would happen again, but because I feared I would want it to. That I'd seek it out.

Polyjuice potion and it's ingredients are restricted for a reason, Potter. The very recipe is not available to students.

Keep that in mind, won't you?