Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.
Society needs to allow people to scratch their ass in public. Theres not a single soul in the world who doesnt hate having an itchy anus and not being able to do much about it.
Fuck you. I WILL scratch my anus in public.
Which Nintendo employees did you have to suck off to get a Nintendo game 1 day early?
All of them. Every single one of them.
I started at the bottom. The janitor, first. He wouldn't let me get in the building, so I had no choice. I did my deed and progressed through the building. A distinct sour taste was left in my mouth, a taste I would soon be very used to.
After that it was an easy task. I went from desk to desk, office to office, employee to employee and dick to dick. It was simply a breeze. But there was a problem. After a while, I realised I was taking too long for each orgasm. If I wanted to get the game on time, I had to hurry up, I had to move on... or else all my sweet karma would be gone.
I manage to optimise the sucking by saving .3 seconds on taking off the trousers and 2.1 seconds (!) by sucking with my teeth. I managed to get to the CEO's desk just in time, with 10mn to spare.
And then.
There he was.
MIYAMOTO.
I jumped and lowered his trousers, knowing I was going to have to make it count. He told me "You suck... YOU SUCK!!" while I was trying to just get him off. I percieved in his voice a hint of pleasure, and then... I knew I had won. I shouted "DAMN RIGHT I DO" and I SPEEDRAN HIS COCK. SO FAST. LESS THAN A MINUTE LATER HE CAME AND I KNEW THAT THEN. I HAD DONE IT.
I HAD GOTTEN A GAME A DAY EARLY.
Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on british people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these british people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""british"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist.
Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the danganronpa bear so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time a trial happens I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Monokuma. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Monokuma's tight furry ass. I want him to have my mutant human/bear babies.
Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with my plush. I'd set up a "punishment time" and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my PS4. I might not ever get to see Monokuma again.Holy 📷📷 fucking 📷 shit. 💩🏿 I 📷 want 📷📷 to 📷 bang the 📷📷 danganronpa bear 📷📷 so goddamn bad. I 📷 can't 📷📷 stand it 📷📷 anymore. Every time a 📷📷 trial happens I 📷📷 get a 📷 massive 📷📷 erection. 📷 I've 📷 seen 📷📷 literally every 📷📷 rule 34 📷📷 post there 📷📷 is 📷 of 📷 him 📷 online. 📷📷 My 💦🏿 dreams 📷 are 📷📷 nothing but 📷📷 constant fucking sex 📷 with Monokuma. I'm sick of 📷📷 waking up 📷 every 📷📷 morning with 📷 six nuts in 📷 my 📷📷 boxers and knowing that 📷 those are 📷📷 nuts 📷 that 📷 should've 📷📷 been 📷 busted inside 📷 of 📷📷 Monokuma's tight 📷 furry 📷📷 ass. 📷 I 📷 want 📷 him 📷📷 to have my 📷📷 mutant human/bear babies. Fuck, 📷📷 my fucking mom 📷📷 caught 📷📷 me with 📷 my plush. I'd set 📷📷 up a 🏽📷 "punishment 🏻 time" 📷 and 📷 went 📷📷 to fucking town. 📷 She 📷📷 hasn't said 📷 a 📷 word 📷 to 📷📷 me in 10 📷 hours 📷📷 and 📷 I'm 📷 worried 📷📷 she's gonna 📷 take away 📷📷 my PS4. I 📷 might 📷 not 📷📷 ever 📷 get to see 📷 Monokuma again. 📷
why is 🤔 there 👬✔ so 🚟💪 many 🍺❔ camera emojis ❤😩
Imagine you are a japanese student and like vtubers. One day, you go to school, and you have a new teacher. She doesn't look very special, but her voice sounds kinda familiar. You start your lesson and forget about it. Break starts, and you start speaking to your friends. You tell them what you did yesterday. You mention that pekora stream you watched. Suddenly, you see how the teacher reacts nervously. You think its strange, but you don't pay much attention, since that one friend just dropped some weird lines about Luna.
Break is over, you start your next lesson. Your teacher starts laughing
HA↗️HA↘️HA↗️HA↘️HA↗️HA
There is no doubt. Your bones start shivering, your eyes are getting hasty. Sweat drops form on your face. You remember the time you imagined weird things with pekora. You start to feel ill. "Is everything alright" the teacher asks. Its too much, you can barely hold it in. "Yea im fine, peko" you say. The whole class looks at you. Everybody thinks you are an even bigger weirdo than you are. The teacher is the only one (apart from your friends group) knowing where that came from, for she is pekora
Schrodinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmosome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?