Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her around the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture -- she once took a full-sized, adult woman shit in my dockers. Your mother is one fucked-up slut, Mark. And I love her, but im not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me sometimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that woman's head and I just dont know I'm strong enough to fuck it all away.
I just got a new keyboard and I realized I haven't typed anything vulgar or explicit on it yet, which makes me feel like it's a virgin keyboard. I almost don't want to either because just thinking about it feels dirty or sinful. It's making me seriously consider that I might want to swap it out with my old keyboard before I do decide to engage in any immoral behavior. Who knows, maybe one day I won't care as much and I'll be ready to pop her cherry mx.
I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Shugoki. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful breasts. The child bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, pass my genes through him, and have him birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get shugoki pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Ubisoft create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
It’s pretty self evident once you think about it. They are merchants who love emeralds (their currency) and they have big noses. Golems are a part of jewish tradition; it is said that the most powerful rabbis were able to summon golems, so the fact that villagers can summon them too also adds to the theory. It is also worth mentioning how the player is incentivised to build camps where villagers are kept in horrible conditions, and those who can’t work are discarded.
Hey guys, did you know in terms of human and Pokémon breeding, neither Vaporeon or Umbreon are the most compatible for humans? I'm actually quite disgusted at the amount of misinformation going around this community relating to them. They're actually both outclassed by another one of their Eeveelutions, Glaceon. Both genders, too. Let me explain. Glaceon is 2 feet and 7 inches tall in height, giving it the perfect composure to fuck. It weighs approximately 57.1 pounds, giving it a small enough weight to move around during fucking, but also enough to not feel too light or too heavy when you're using your dick on it. Glaceon's stat spread is also incredibly versatile for sex, with incredible Defense and Special Defense. It has lackluster Attack, but the best part is its Special Attack. You'll see why later. As an ice type, having such good defenses is incredibly rare. You also might be thinking, "but your dick would freeze inside of its puss-puss!" This is not true! Here is its Pokédex entry from Pokémon Sun, circa 2016. "It can control its body temperature at will. This enables it to freeze the moisture in the atmosphere, creating flurries of diamond dust." Glaceon can control its body temp at will, so if you don't want your dick to be frozen, you can create the perfect environment for dicking it down by telling it to change its temperature! This way, you can fuck it in so many different ways, temperatures, and more! Now onto its moves, which are also incredibly useful for sex. By level up, it learns Helping Hand. This allows it to increase your fucking power by double, increasing your pleasure times two! It also learns Bite, meaning it can get freaky and tune to whatever shit you like in the bed. Best of all, it can use MIRROR COAT. This means whenever you cum, it can double back the pleasure like a special attack, meaning you'll feel all the pleasure IT had during sex times TWO! Combine this with Helping Hand and you'll be turned into a human cum nozzle! Glaceon also learns Barrier, which if used just thrice, turns it into a massively defensive tank, so it can take physical attacks for days, literal fucking days! It can also use Hail. Now, if you use it outside, it will Hail outside. Go back inside and the Hail won't affect you! Best of all, combine the Hail with Glaceon's ability Ice Body, and it will gradually replenish it's Health Points during a hailstorm! This means it will NEVER fucking stop enduring all your "hits," so you can fuck it over and over and over, combining this with Barrier, and you could probably fuck it for 24 hours straight, if not more! It also learns Baby Doll Eyes, Charm, Captivate, and Yawn, allowing it to get itself right in the mood, along with you too! It even learns Fake Tears, Covet, and Tickle, allowing you to roleplay with it if you're in the mood. It even learns Stored Power, meaning if it uses enough Barriers, it can release all of the Defensive energy it has into, you guessed it, fucking SPECIAL ATTACK!!! And with its absolutely GODLY special attack stat, you'll be drowning in waves of pleasure due to this attack! And it doesn't get rid of the Barrier boosts, so as long as you have enough ethers, it can do this over and over WHILE you're fucking it! Hell, it even learns attract, which makes you fall so deeply in love with it that you'll be in a trance of fucking! It can take charge with that as well and use your love to make it fuck it how IT wants! Which means it's not just pleasurable for you, it's also pleasurable for your Glaceon! It even learns Aurora Veil, which in the Hail, protects it even fucking MORE from taking too much damage! Combine this with Ice Body and Barrier and you can fuck it for decades without either of you ever getting tired! Glaceon also learns refresh, so if that wasn't enough, it can never get sick while you're fucking it, protecting you from any and all STIs and STDs! I rest my case, Glaceon is the BEST Pokémon you can fuck. :)
Melusines are really important for Fontaine! They play a major role in the economy of the country. One of the reasons is their pride, they want to be seen as hardworker and loyal but they are all small and cute!
Melusines comes in all sort of colors! The interesting part is the taste of both the tip of their antenna and sweat is different based on it! Fascinating is it not?
The laws of Fontaine consider Melusines the equal of Humans so it's possible to have a colleague Melusines, or better, a partner as I have!
You see one of those hardworking Melusines is my wife, Elphane, my pink godess. I fell in love the first time we met, sunset on the horizon, alone on the aquabus.
I proposed to her right away (Melusines are very cute), at first she was confused, but she quickly whispered yes under her breath and made me the happiest man in the world as the sun faded out.
She is so cute, behind her strong hardworking Melusine façade hides a shy and cute wife! In fact everytime she sees me she cries tears of joy, it's sad im a busy man so I can't see her everyday. I have to leave after I made sure she understands how much I love her!
Recently I noticed people in blue stalking her, they must have noticed how cute melusines are (as I did). But I was angry at them, as cute as Melusines are Elphane is MY wife! I went to our home to have a talk with her about the creeps stalking her, she was very scared as I told her so I had to calm her. You see my wife is very noisy every time we do it (she is very shy), the creeps must have taken this opportunity to attack me and my wife! In our own home!
I tried to defend my crying wife but they knocked me out! I woke up to something called a "trial" I screamed about how "Melusines are small and frail" and what I would do to them if they ever touched my adorable wife Elphane!
And then... I saw her on the other side of the room, they made her cry! I went in a blind rage! I don't remember exactly what happened next, I remember a small blue brat screaming nonsense like "Aggravated assault" (?) and other dumb stuff like "sexual harassment" and "sexual assault". What I remember clearly is when she said I had a "restraining order" on my wife and every Melusines! DO YOU BELIEVE THIS! How can any normal men resist the urge to get closer to something as cute as a Melusine! They also said I must be locked in a place called "jail" for 20 years! 20 YEARS without seeing ANY Melusines! This is a crime against life itself! I swear I won't stay there for long! I'll leave, correct this stupid blue brat and get as far as possible with MY wife Elphane!
I will take her to see the world and the world will look back! Everyone must see how cute Melusines are! They will!
