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CSGO

Archive of all known CSGO copypasta about pro players to Valve’s meme response to Hiko’s missed shots to the 48 year old man from Somalia.


If you have under 5K hours, don’t speak, literally shut the fk up.

    Original post
    If the indisputably unparalleled, prodigiously talented, utterly dominant, Mr. HardCarry — the definitive GOAT, Mr. S1mple — says the game is sh*t then the game is sh*t. Period. Claiming that the game is in good condition not only overlooks its evident flaws but also significantly impedes the essential progress and improvements it desperately needs.

I'm going to be real, if you have under 5K hours of competitive play, don't speak, literally shut the f*ck up. You have no idea what you are talking about. It's like giving advice on how to set up a racecar while you have just passed the driving test.

I can't wait for the CS2 tournament. Right now it's an uphill battle because obviously the majority of the players on this subreddit are just not experienced enough to notice the obvious issues that the game has. They've played the game just long enough to fall into the Dunning-Kruger trap, mistaking their limited experience for genuine expertise.

Valve, like any other company, has its own interests at heart. It's important not to romanticize or become overly attached to a corporate entity.
    I'm going to be real, if you have under 5K hours of competitive play, don't speak, literally shut the f*ck up.

    Why is the game called “Counter-Strike”? I’ve been deceived

      I heard some hype about “Counter-Strike 2”. I downloaded the current “Counter-Strike”, so I can be prepared for the new release. What appealed to me most was the name.

I went head first and started my first game. I didn’t know much about it, except that I knew my mission: to Counter the Strike. I learned quickly that I was on a team of Counter-Terrorists who’s job was to prevent the Strike of the Terrorists. I told my team “I’ll be the guy that defuses the bomb”. I bought a Defuse Kit every single round, and waited for my chance to counter the strike.

On Round 15, I waited on the “A Site”, and after the Terrorists planted the bomb, my fellow Counter-Terrorists eliminated them and I had my opportunity: I entered the code to defuse the bomb and we won the round! That was the biggest adrenaline rush I’ve ever had in gaming. The announcer said “Bomb defused. Counter-terrorists win”! I did it! My team erupted and chanted, “YOU COUNTERED THE STRIKE”. That solidified my call to the duty, I was ready to counter any strike that came my way.

But what happened next left me appalled. All of the sudden I was one of the Terrorists!?!? Apparently I was expected to Strike now!? I was so confused. This is not what I signed up for. I was in a full-blown panic attack, I could barely make out the words to my team, but I was so certain of my purpose. I yelled, “THERES NO WAY IM STRIKING”. To my surprise, it went unanswered.

I decided to be the bigger man. I was not going to compromise. I thought maybe this was a test (it was not). I took my Glock and aimed it at my “fellow” Terrorists and shot them. I WAS SUSPENDED FROM THE GAME. Excuse me?????? I was COUNTERING the FUCKING STRIKE.

I don’t know what’s going on. I had to make sure I didn’t download “Strike” by mistake. Someone please help me understand

      Taco ‘Guys, if you think we are good, let’s prove it now’

        The famous CSGO Taco copypasta
        Original clip
        Taco: "actually, I remember one time we were playing against Cloud 9, Inferno, and it was 15-3 to C9, we were playing as CT, C9 as T, and Fallen said:

'Guys, if you think we are good, let's prove it now'. 15-3"

Fallen: "did we comeback?"

Taco: "of course not. 16-3"

        THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED FROM CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENTION

        "Actually, I remember one time, we were playing against Denver, Conference Finals, and it was 3-0 to the Nuggets. And LeBron said, 'Guys, if you think we are good, let's prove it now.'"

"Did you come back?"

"Of course not. 4-0."

        They’re not going A or B. They’re going home.

          S1mple became what everyone feared. His eyelids disappeared, his head was swelling and his ears started bleeding. “Are you okay Sasha” asks electronic. I’ve never been better dennis, I see it all now, they’re not going A or B. They’re going home.

          Hooxi

            Hooxi a pro CSGO player for G2 copypasta
            Who is Hooxi? For the blind, He is the vision. For the hungry, He is the chef. For the thirsty, He is the water. If Hooxi thinks, I agree. If Hooxi speaks, I’m listening. If Hooxi has one fan, it is me. If Hooxi has no fans, I don’t exist.

            Hello am 48 year man from somalia.

              am 48 year man from somalia
              Hello am 48 year man from somalia. Sorry for my bed england. I selled my wife for internet connection for play "conter strik" and i want to become the goodest player like you I play with 400 ping on brazil and i am global elite 2. pls no copy pasterino my story.
              hello, am 48 year man from somalia. sorry for bed england. i sold my wife for internet connection for play "conter strirk" and i want be goodest player like you i play with 400 ping on brazil server and i am global elite 2. pls no copy paserino my story.