You will never be a real incel. You have no autism, you have no negative canthal tilt, you have no deep seated emotional resentment. You are a well-adjusted man twisted by irony and memes into a crude mockery of a stone cold virgin.
All the “rejection” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back girls love you. Your parents are proud and happy for you, "Stacies” swoon over your masculine appearance behind closed doors.
Women are utterly smitten with you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed women to sniff out chads with incredible efficiency. Even incels who “pass” look strong and charismatic to a woman. Your deep voice and good sense of humor are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to earn a little online incel clout, you'll get cancelled the second your DMs get leaked and everybody gets a glimpse of the e-girls thirsting over you.
You will never be depressed. You wrench out a fake "tfw no gf" every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be miserable, but deep inside you feel the happiness creeping up like a weed, ready to bless you with unshakeable confidence.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll find a girlfriend, marry her, knock her up, and have seven healthy kids together. Your parents will praise you, happy but a little bit sentimental now that their little boy has finally grown up. They’ll spoil the kids with candies and toys, and every acquaintance for the rest of your life will know that you're a fakecel. Eventually you will pass on surrounded by your loved ones. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a family that misses you dearly.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
You will never be a real incel. You have a jawline, you decent height, you have no male pattern baldness. You are a handsome man twisted by the blackpill and memes into self-doubt and inferiority complexes.
All the “rejection” you get is only inside your head. Behind your back people like you. Your parents are proud of you, your colleagues whisper how cute you are behind closed doors.
Women are innately attracted by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed women to sniff out good genetics with incredible efficiency. Even women who “rejected” you would've changed their mind if you actually tried. Your facial structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you aren't exactly the type of some women, she'll introduce you to her girlfriends the moment she acknowledges your objectively good features.
You will never be truly alone. You wrench out a fake frown every single morning and tell yourself you're destined to be alone, but deep inside you feel hope blossoming like a hot spring, ready to lift you up any moment from now.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll install Tinder, put yourself out there, find a girlfriend, and passionate sex with her. Your parents will hear about that, relieved that you finally found the happiness they knew you deserve. They’ll praise you with warmth and proudness, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know you have gotten consensual sex from a girl. Your mind will be freed from all the doubt, and all that will remain is a man that is unmistakably successful.
This is your fate. This is what you were born into. There is no turning back.
