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yarr….a pirate, and a girl?

    ye be lookin beautiful today matey
    yarr....a pirate, and a girl? lifts eyepatch, eyes bulge out, my parrot squacks "Braaawwwk! Thar she blows!", i thump my pegleg on the ground like a horny rabbit, sound of a dock bell being rung as i sway from side, my pirate hat lifts a foot off my head, popeye theme plays, my tongue rolls out to reveal a picture of the jolly roger which proceeds to animate and wolf whistel yarr!!! my parrot knocks me on the head lile a woodpecker yar!! what ye be doin, polly? my parrot grabs mw by the collar with one wing and slaps me with the other yarr... i shake my head rapidly, regain my composure, adjust my pirate hat er...ye be lookin beautiful today, matey