(Wakes up) The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming to TIFU posts. Good morning Reddit, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hop on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a NSFW tag?? HMMGH, I-I MUST UPVOTE, GOOD SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, UPVOTE, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt.