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To Everyone In My 8:30 Today I Was NOT masturbating!!!

    Part of a series of university/college copypasta that came from their respective subreddit and spread from there.

    so i was sitting in the back row of my lecture and i realized my fly was unzipped. I was trying to fix it up before anyone saw me. however, my zipper was caught in the boxers, and it wouldn't move no matter how hard i tugged. this was creating a commotion, and these 3 girls were starting to stare.
    
    so, i started making grunting noises to indicate i was trying to fix my pants. however, it seemed like it made it worse because they started whispering and more people started to stare. so eventually i just gave up and walked out the room.
    
    when i came back, everyone kept giving me weird looks. i am really sorry for today and i just wanted to clear the air.