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TIFU by jizzing over a house fly

    Jizzing over a housefly TIFU story
    This happened about 20' minutes or so. Buckle up 'cause you're up for a ride.
    
    Late afternoon, im sitting in my bed, and as any teen would, i got horny. Decided to get to it-
    six or so minutes later im in full heat and theres this GOD DAMN FLY! Right now?! I loose concentration of the important matters, now mad at this god dammned fly.
    
    "Time for revenge, scumdog!" i say, as i begin to grip the barrel of the machinegun. The enemy seems to understand the situation and begins evasive manuevers, perhaps, thinking it could get away.
    Round chambered, i begin to aim towards the moving target. It is a risky shot but a succesful hit would mean total, inmediate victory.
    
    I could predate the enemy's sheer, utter panic and state of mind. It KNEW they weren't coming out of this god damn battlefield alive.
    
    "Now's the moment" my mind speaks. I thigthen my grip. Pull the trigger...
    First round. Total miss.
    Second round, "Dont fail me now"... Barely missed. I would say it ricocheted.
    500 miliseconds later, third's the charm... FULL HIT!
    
    Target spirals out of control, warped by the kinetic force of the load.
    
    I begin to, slowly, aproach the fallen oponent. Seems like there's still some movement...
    I grab my (recently polished) bayonet to put it out of his pain.. Until...
    
    Its Alive. Its not just alive. Its thirsty for revenge.
    
    The snow coated soldier begins to raise from it's misery.
    As it raises, higher by every moment, the frosting puddle pulls a string from its injured body, high up and slowly into the cloudy heavens. He's clearly struggling.
    And the chain snaps, he's free from the ground.
    
    "Oh no" I say to myself. Only then did i realize the real potential of the enemy i faced.
    As the white string snapped, the now flying enemy picked up a giant, long droplet.
    
    A CUM PAYLOAD!
    
    As i try to stop the inpact, the fly drops its payload onto my black carpet....
    "Well", that must be all, lets begin the cleanup of the battle... Fool me.
    
    The now Jizz stained Wehrmacht roars the skies. What's about it?, you'd ask.
    Yes, the payload is gone, but. That motherfucker sat on my laptop and left a stain!
    
    And it proceeded to keep sitting in various places leaving micro stains everywhere..
    The room looks like my fucking balls exploded.
    
    Fuck.
    
    TL;DR: splat a fly with jizz and it stained jizz everywhere