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Zenless Zone Zero

I’ve been a chronic masturbator for years. Decades, even.

    Came from an unhinged Steam review of Zenless Zone Zero.

    Look, I’ve been a chronic masturbator for years. Decades, even. I’ve seen every type of pixelated titty physics the industry has to offer — from stiff cardboard bounces in old games to the overcooked gelatin wobbles in modern gacha trash. But nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for what miHoYo cooked up in Zenless Zone Zero.
    The moment I loaded into the game and saw the girls moving, my soul left my body. The boob jiggle physics in ZZZ aren’t just good. They’re divine. They’re not just bouncing — they’re alive. They have weight. They have momentum. They have personality. Every step, every combat dash, every idle animation is a masterclass in soft-body simulation that makes my degenerate brain short-circuit.
    I’m talking realistic secondary motion that reacts to wind, to attacks, to camera angles. The way they settle after a big move? Chef’s kiss. The subtle micro-jiggles when a character is just standing there breathing? I’m on my knees. I’ve spent literal hours in the character menu just rotating the camera and watching the physics do their holy work. My right hand has never been more religious.
    Because of this jiggle physics, I’m starting to believe there is a God.
    No atheist could look at the way these characters move and still claim the universe is random chance. This level of bouncy perfection didn’t just evolve — it was designed. Someone out there (probably a fellow chronic masturbator who achieved enlightenment) poured their soul into making sure every frame honored the female form in motion. It’s not fanservice anymore. It’s scripture.
    Combat? Cool. Story? Pretty fun. New Eridu aesthetic? Stylish as hell. But none of that matters. I’m here for the physics. I’ve cleared entire commissions with one hand while the other was occupied, eyes locked on the jiggle like it was the meaning of life.
    If you’re also a proud, unashamed coomer, do yourself a favor and download Zenless Zone Zero right now. Turn the graphics up. Put it in 60 FPS. Thank me (and the devs) later when you’re having a spiritual experience mid-battle.
    This game didn’t just raise the bar. It made the bar jiggle so seductively that I found God.
    Final Score: 11/10 (extra point for the existential crisis and subsequent religious awakening)
    Praise be to the Jiggle. 

    In terms of male human and female thiren breeding, Cecilia is the most compatible thiren for humans

      By u/JoeHaydn, its the Vaporeon copypasta but changed to Cecilia from ZZZ.

      Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female thiren breeding, Cecilia is the most compatible thiren for humans? Not only is she in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Cecilia is an average of 5”07’ tall and 96.9 pounds, this means she's large enough to be able handle human appendages, and with her impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with her. Due to her mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Cecilia would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily breed her for hours without getting sore. She can also learn the moves Step-on-me-mommy, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for her to get you in the mood. With her abilities Lactation and Hydration, both you and she can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Thiren comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you h*ld her hand, you can make your Cecilia turn beet red. Cecilia is literally built for human intercourse. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means she can take the mating press all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. 

      I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of INCESTO.

        Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to incest joke brainrot from Zenless Zone Zero.

        I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of INCESTO. I try to post Soldier 11. My INCESTO brings in more updoots. I try to post Astra. My INCESTO brings in more updoots. I try to post Anton. My INCESTO brings in more updoots. I want to post Vivian. Her best memes have INCESTO. I want to post Ye Shunguang, Ye Shiyuan - they both want INCESTO. It grabs me by the throat. I post more memes about it. I cook for it. I give it more resolution. It isn't satisfied. I install SFM. "I don't need this much effort" It tells me. "Give me more Screen time." She grabs Lucy and forces her to throw the boar off enemies. "You just need to post me more. I can bring in more attention with photoshop." I can't handle photoshop, I don't have enough time or money. It grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." It grabs Blender. It says "Blender, melt his PC." There is no hint of sadness in its eyes. Nothing but pure, universal goonery. What a cruel world.

        I was in Random Play when I saw this image and had to start furiously jorking it

          Written by u/MRfireDmS, its the NSFW on a train copypasta but changed to Zenless Zone Zero specifically in Random Play.

          Please tag this NSFW
          
          I was in Random Play when I saw this image and had to start furiously jorking it. People gave me weird looks. Then I dropped my Bangboo, with this image for everyone to see.
          
          Now there's a whole store of customers, Bangboo and Proxies jorking it to this one image.
          
          All because you failed to mark it nsfw

          STOP POSTING ABOUT ASTRA YAO! I’M TIRED OF SEEING HER!

            Astra Yao

            Its the ‘STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US‘ meme but changed to Astra Yao from Zenless Zone Zero.

            STOP POSTING ABOUT ASTRA YAO! I'M TIRED OF SEEING HER! My Vivian team wants Astra, my Evelyn team wants Astra. I was browsing Deadly Assault guides, right? And ALL THE BUILDS are Astra Yao. I showed my 8 star Deadly Assault to my friends, and they said "Hey dude, you would get 9 stars if you have Astra, she'd just "再不会让 承诺被敷衍 不让真心被曲解" all over the boss, haha." I fucking look at my Shiyu defense and thought " I could clear it in 2 minutes if I had Astra." I look at my next customer in the new flower shop event and guess what? She brought me to meet Astra! AHHHHHHHHHHH 

            I must goon. Gooning is the mind-freer.

              I must not goon copypasta

              Its the Litany Against Fear verse from Dune but changed to gooning for Zenless Zone Zero. The quote was popularized form the books and the movie when Paul was tested by the Reverend Mother.

              I must goon. Gooning is the mind-freer. Gooning is the little-death that brings total release. I will face my gooning. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its lore. Where the goon has gone there will be lore. Only lore will remain. 

              Dune quote

              I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.