Skip to content

Wuthering Waves

CookieRun Kingdom saved my life

    Started as a bunch of shitpost rants from r/CookieRunKingdoms on how unoptimized the game is for a simple mobile game.

    Crk saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.
    
    Then, inspiration struck. I opened up cookie run. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.
    
    I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Black Lemonade, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.
    
    I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Devsis. Crk saved my life.
    This is really heart warming a similar thing happened to me. I was in a hostage situation l, tied to a chair while being beaten and tortured after all of that happened I slowly but surely slipped out of the tied knot that was on my wrists. I could hear the kidnappers coming back so I didn't have much but then something clicked "CRK!" That was it so I pulled out my phone loaded CRK and put the most laggy cookies on a team hit play and threw my phone at the kidnappers. All I could hear was a big boom and was flash banged and then lights out. Next thing I know I wake up in the Hospital with an amputated leg and severe damage to my right arm but still usable. Unfortunately the kidnappers survived and were convicted. The kidnappers were two people named Ginger Brave (Who would name a child that must have been bullied) and Dragon Lord Cacao (Whoever this dude's parents are jail them). Thanks to this game's poor optimization I lived but with some damage to my body and mental trauma. Thanks Devsis. 

    WuWa saved my life

    WuWa saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.
    
    Then, inspiration struck. I opened up Wuthering Waves. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.
    
    I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Yinlin's ult, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.
    
    I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Kurogames. WuWa saved my life.

    Limbus Company saved my life

    Limbus Company saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.
    
    Then, inspiration struck. I opened up Limbus Company. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.
    
    I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Lord Lu's S3, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.
    
    I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Project Moon. Limbus Company saved my life.

    Charge ♿ Charge ♿ Charge ♿

      Wuwa Charge ♿ copypasta

      Wuthering Waves disappointing 1st anniversary has led CN players to spam the ‘Charge ♿’ copypasta when criticisms were deleted.

      Charge ♿ Charge ♿ Charge ♿
      CHARGE ♿ CHARGE ♿ CHARGE ♿ 

      LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED WITH JINHSI NOW

        Its a series of ongoing Wuthering Waves memes featuring the leader of each nation imploring Rover (the protagonist) to breed with the women of their choice. It was inspired by the Redfield bloodline meme where Christ Redfield wants Leon to bang his sister Claire to continue their bloodline.

        Lord Arbiter, YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW

        LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW. THE FUTURE OF JINZHOU DEPENDS ON IT. THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF THIS ONE'S CALCULATIONS HAVE BEEN DEDICATED TO SELECTING THE IDEAL SPECIMIN TO GROOM INTO YOUR PERFECT WIFE.
        DO NOT WASTE THIS CHANCE. YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW, LORD ARBITER.

        Listen kid, YOU MARRY MY CARLOTTA

        LISTEN, KID, YOU MARRY MY CARLOTTA, YOU GET BEAUTY, BRAINS, AND A BLOODLINE THAT COMES WITH GLORY AND FORTUNE YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE, NOT LIKE THOSE DIRTY BACKWATER SLUM PEASANTS IN JINZHOU, WHO'D SELL THEIR OWN GRANDMOTHER FOR A DISCOUNT ON OLIVE OIL. THE MONTELLI FAMILY? WE GOT HONOR, POWER, AND SUNDAY DINNERS SO GOOD THEY MAKE GROWN MEN WEEP. DO YOU THINK THE JINNYZHOU CAN OFFER YOU THAT? PLEASE. THEIR WINES ARE DOGWATER, THEIR EGG AND FLOUR PRICES ARE JACKED TO THE SKY. DO YOU THINK THEY CAN OFFER YOU A FEAST? YOU'D EAT PLAIN RICE AND BEANS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. YOU WANT A QUEEN BY YOUR SIDE AND A DYNASTY BEHIND YOU? MARRY CARLOTTA. YOU WANT A LIFETIME OF HEADACHES AND LIVING LIKE A PEASANT FOREVER? BE MY GUEST- GO BACK TO JINZHOU.

        Return to Blackshores at once. SHOREKEEPER HAS BEEN DESIGNATED AS YOUR IDEAL PARTNER

        OBJECTION: CHIEF STEWARD, THIS SYSTEM MUST INTERVENE IN YOUR ERRONEOUS BEHAVIOR. YOU CANNOT CONTINUE YOUR MEANINGLESS AFFECTIONS WITH THE MONTELLI HEIR.
        ACCORDING TO THE TETHYS SYSTEM'S FUTURE SIMULATIONS, YOUR OFFSPRING WILL BE WEAK, A PREY FOR THE LAMENT. A DISGRACEFUL FATE FOR THE BLOOMBEARER'S FIGHT AGAINST THE LAMENT.
        
        SOLUTION: THIS SYSTEM HAS DEVISED A FAR SUPERIOR SOLUTION. RETURN TO THE BLACK SHORES AT ONCE. SHOREKEEPER, THE PERFECT BEING, A MASTERPIECE OF RESONANCE, HAS BEEN DESIGNATED AS YOUR IDEAL PARTNER. WITH HER VAST KNOWLEDGE AND UNSURPASSED POWER, YOUR CHILDREN WILL TRANSCEND MORTAL LIMITS. THEY SHALL POSSESS MINDS SHARP LIKE AETHERIC BLADES, FORMS SCULPTED BY EVOLUTION ITSELF, AND WILL NEVER, EVER BE MANLETS, AND WILL RESULT IN RESOLVING THE LAMENT ONCE AND FOR ALL.
        
        DO NOT FAIL HUMANITY, CHIEF STEWARD. THE TETHYS SYSTEM DEMANDS PERFECTION.

        Lord Arbiter, this one must warn you TO STOP FLIRTING WITH THE MONTELLI GIRL

        LORD ARBITER, THIS ONE MUST WARN YOU TO STOP FLIRTING WITH THE MONTELLI GIRL. ACCORDING TO THIS ONE
        FUTURE CALCULATION, YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE A MANLET LORD ARBITOR FOREVER RIDICULED BY THEIR PEERS. SUCH A TERRIBLE FATE FOR YOUR FUTURE GENERATION.
        I IMPLORE YOU TO COME BACK TO JINZHOU, LORD ARBITOR. THIS ONE ALREADY HAND-PICKED THE PERFECT SPECIMEN FOR YOU TO BE THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN. THIS ONE CALCULATES YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN WILL BEAUTIFUL LIKE JADE, STRONG LIKE A DRAGON, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY NOT A MANLET.

        Lord Arbiter, YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW

        LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW. THE FUTURE OF RAGUNNA DEPENDS ON IT. YEARS UPON YEARS OF BATTLING THE DARK TIDE HAVE BEEN DEDICATED TO PROTECTING THIS IDEAL SPECIMIN TO GROOM INTO YOUR PERFECT WIFE. DO NOT WASTE THIS RARE CHANCE. YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW, LORD ARBITER.

        THOU MUST BREED FLEURDELYS NOW

        LORD ARBITER, HEED MY WORDS. THOU MUST BREED FLEURDELYS NOW, FOR THE FUTURE OF RINASCITA DOTH HANG IN THE BALANCE. FOR FAR TOO LONG, THE PEOPLE OF RAGUNNA HAVE WAITED FOR THE COMING OF THE BLESSED MAIDEN. IN LIKE MANNER, I HAVE SPENT CENTURIES IN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT SPECIMEN TO BE THY WIFE, TO UNITE AND GUIDE THIS NATION TO PARADISE, AS IT HAS BEEN FORETOLD BY THE PROPHECY. WASTE NOT THIS CHANCE, THOU MUST BREED FLEURDELYS NOW, LORD ARBITER.

        Calcharo copypasta

          Calcharo is a standard 5-star character in Wuthering Waves who had been powercrept hard hence the memes.

          I can tell you genuinely love WuWa, so here’s the deal: when you have time, I’ll take you on a ride! Right now, with my UL 30 Calcharo, I can straight-up wreck a Clang Bang with a full combo of “Death Messenger.” I’ll show you what it’s like to play in the big leagues. Strong players MUST humiliate the weak. I’ve consistently achieved a record of beating Hologram 2 , at my peak condition, I even beat Hologram 3 once. When my reflexes are on point, I can pull off some next-level “Dodge Counter” moves. Ever heard of parry or “Counterattack”? Well, I’ve absolutely done it before.

          Original Chinese version

          看得出来你是真心喜欢鸣潮,有空我带带你吧,我现在联觉30级,卡卡罗一套死告可以直接打残一个叮咚咚,带你体验一下高端局。强者就是要羞辱弱者!我常年保持全息二的强劲实力,巅峰时期甚至打过全息三,手感好的时候甚至可以打出闪避反击这种高端操作,你知道逆势回击吗?我打过

          Kuro Games scares me

            Kuro Games is the developer and publisher for Wuthering Waves and Punishing: Gray Raven.

            I'm terrified of Kuro Games. Last night, they dropped a new survey, but I was too tired to fill it out, so I just skipped it and went to bed. Big mistake. Around 3:00 A.M., I woke up to the sound of my front door being kicked in. Before I could react, five Kuro drones flew into my room, their LED eyes glowing crimson.
            
            They pinned me to my bed, holding me down at gunpoint. "Please rate your satisfaction with our latest region on a scale of 1 to 10," one of them buzzed. I tried to scream, but another bot shoved a barrel in my mouth. "What are your thoughts on playable characters? Do you like women in suits?"
            
            I was shaking, unable to answer. My brain was mush. "WE PROMISE, WE DELIVER" they repeated in unison, their synthetic voices echoing through the room. I wanted to cry, but all I could do was stammer, "I-I liked the update... it was... g-good."
            
            The bots paused, their eyes scanning me for sincerity. Then, as suddenly as they came, they flew out of my house, leaving a feedback form on my chest with "PLEASE COMPLETE THIS SURVEY" written in bold red letters along with 1,600 Astrites and a free 5-star Resonator.
            
            I haven't slept since. Kuro Games, please... I promise I'll do the next survey. Just let me rest.
            WE PROMISE WE DELIVER
            WE PROMISE WE DELIVER
            我們承諾
            nous promettons que nous livrons
            мы обещаем, мы доставим
            Prometemos que entregamos

            DEVS LISTENED

              Devs Listened meme face
              
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠼⠟⠛⠛⠂⠈⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡤⠁⢀⣴⣶⣦⣕⠦⢄⣄⣀⠄⠄⠤⠄⠄⠨⢀⢠
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠼⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣒⣬⣑⠈⠑⣠⠐⠊⠌⠢⠁
              ⠄⠄⠄⡆⠄⠁⢠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣶⣦⣄⠸⠄⠄⠄
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡟⠛⠛⢝⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣄⣨⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡋⠹⣿⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠉⢿⡌⢿⣿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢌⢀⠐⠂⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢌⢀⠐⠂⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
              ⠄DEVS⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⣙⡆⡰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄LISTENED⠄⠄⠄⠉⠕⠾⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣰
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣼⡄⠳⣿⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⣀⣾⣿
              ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⢉⣈⡡⢤⢴⣾⣿⣿⣿
              ⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣆⣱⣬⣿⣿⣿⡿