Wuthering Waves

Kuro Games scares me

Kuro Games is the developer and publisher for Wuthering Waves and Punishing: Gray Raven.

I'm terrified of Kuro Games. Last night, they dropped a new survey, but I was too tired to fill it out, so I just skipped it and went to bed. Big mistake. Around 3:00 A.M., I woke up to the sound of my front door being kicked in. Before I could react, five Kuro drones flew into my room, their LED eyes glowing crimson.

They pinned me to my bed, holding me down at gunpoint. "Please rate your satisfaction with our latest region on a scale of 1 to 10," one of them buzzed. I tried to scream, but another bot shoved a barrel in my mouth. "What are your thoughts on playable characters? Do you like women in suits?"

I was shaking, unable to answer. My brain was mush. "WE PROMISE, WE DELIVER" they repeated in unison, their synthetic voices echoing through the room. I wanted to cry, but all I could do was stammer, "I-I liked the update... it was... g-good."

The bots paused, their eyes scanning me for sincerity. Then, as suddenly as they came, they flew out of my house, leaving a feedback form on my chest with "PLEASE COMPLETE THIS SURVEY" written in bold red letters along with 1,600 Astrites and a free 5-star Resonator.

I haven't slept since. Kuro Games, please... I promise I'll do the next survey. Just let me rest.

WE PROMISE WE DELIVER

WE PROMISE WE DELIVER
我們承諾
nous promettons que nous livrons
мы обещаем, мы доставим
Prometemos que entregamos

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I’m sick of Verina

Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Verina from Wuthering Waves.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Verina. I try to play Calcharo. My Verina deals more damage. I try to play Jiyan. My Verina deals more damage. I try to play Yangyang. My Verina deals more damage. I try not to play Sanhua. I want to play Danjin. But Her best team has Verina. I want to play Yuanwu, Chixia. They both want Verina. She grabs me by the throat. I fish for her. I cook for her. I give her the Cosmic Ripples. She isn't satisfied. "I don't need this much ER," she tells me. "Give me more field time." she argues... Why must Verina demand so much from me... The game hasn't even been out for a week yet she's terrorizing me like I owe her my lunch money. Please Verina just take what you get and heal my team, instead of scarring me so much that I can't use you in the endgame, causing me to be oneshot by level 69 Crownless.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Verina. I try to play Baizhi. My Verina does more heal. I try to play Taoqi. My Verina gets more concerto. I try to play S6 Mortefi. My Verina gives more team buff. I want to play Jinhsi. Her best team has Verina. I want to play Calcharo, and Jiyan. They both want Verina.

She grabs me by the throat. I water the plants for her. I tend the garden for her. I give her 5 pc of rejuvenating glow. She isn't satisfied. I give her a 25+ ER echo. "I need more of this" She tells me. "Give me less field time." She grabs Yuanwu and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to tank the hits, while I quickly build concerto with R5 Variation."

I can't pull for R5 Variation, I don't have enough astrite. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She pushed me where the enemies are. She says "Ohno~ my grace of life cooldown is still on." But there is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure, no more photosynthesis energy left. What a cruel world.

My very mixed experience with Jinhsi

I was up at Loong's Crest enjoying my lunch when I saw a figure in the distance skiing down fast from the peak. I looked closer and HOLY SHIT IT'S MAGISTRATE JINHSI. Before I could get a word out, she had already snatched my lotus pastry out of my hands. She turned around with a blank expression and mouthed "no one will ever believe you" before doing a 360 triple backflip down the icy slope and out of sight

I can’t live without WuWa

Started as a Roblox server down meme, the copypasta has been adopted to other games whenever there is server maintenance.

It's been almost 2 hours without Wuthering Waves. I can’t stop shaking and I’m having a severe mental breakdown. I went to announcements to check for a new update but there wasn't any, I had a major panic attack but managed to calm down after a few hours. I couldn’t go to school today, fearing that the maintenance would end when I am at school. I am nothing without Wuthering Waves, it is my life, it is my destiny, without Withering Waves, I wouldn't be able to do anything. Wuthering Waves is the best thing ever made and I can't get rid of my addiction to it, it is the best game in existence . I can't stop trembling and crying, I am very worried. Wuthering Waves can't be gone for any longer cause if it does then I'll go insane again... breaking my mouse, chair, house and everything I own. Wuthering Waves is very amazing and I can't lose it.

CookieRun Kingdom saved my life

Started as rants from r/CookieRunKingdoms about how unoptimized the game is on players phones.

Crk saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.

Then, inspiration struck. I opened up cookie run. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.

I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Black Lemonade, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.

I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Devsis. Crk saved my life.

This is really heart warming a similar thing happened to me. I was in a hostage situation l, tied to a chair while being beaten and tortured after all of that happened I slowly but surely slipped out of the tied knot that was on my wrists. I could hear the kidnappers coming back so I didn't have much but then something clicked "CRK!" That was it so I pulled out my phone loaded CRK and put the most laggy cookies on a team hit play and threw my phone at the kidnappers. All I could hear was a big boom and was flash banged and then lights out. Next thing I know I wake up in the Hospital with an amputated leg and severe damage to my right arm but still usable. Unfortunately the kidnappers survived and were convicted. The kidnappers were two people named Ginger Brave (Who would name a child that must have been bullied) and Dragon Lord Cacao (Whoever this dude's parents are jail them). Thanks to this game's poor optimization I lived but with some damage to my body and mental trauma. Thanks Devsis.

WuWa saved my life

WuWa saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.

Then, inspiration struck. I opened up Wuthering Waves. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.

I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Yinlin's ult, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.

I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Kurogames. WuWa saved my life.