Wuthering Waves

LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED WITH JINHSI NOW

Its a series of ongoing Wuthering Waves memes featuring the leader of each nation imploring Rover (the protagonist) to breed with the women of their choice. It was inspired by the Redfield bloodline meme where Christ Redfield wants Leon to bang his sister Claire to continue their bloodline.

Lord Arbiter, YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW

LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW. THE FUTURE OF JINZHOU DEPENDS ON IT. THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF THIS ONE'S CALCULATIONS HAVE BEEN DEDICATED TO SELECTING THE IDEAL SPECIMIN TO GROOM INTO YOUR PERFECT WIFE.
DO NOT WASTE THIS CHANCE. YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW, LORD ARBITER.

Listen kid, YOU MARRY MY CARLOTTA

LISTEN, KID, YOU MARRY MY CARLOTTA, YOU GET BEAUTY, BRAINS, AND A BLOODLINE THAT COMES WITH GLORY AND FORTUNE YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE, NOT LIKE THOSE DIRTY BACKWATER SLUM PEASANTS IN JINZHOU, WHO'D SELL THEIR OWN GRANDMOTHER FOR A DISCOUNT ON OLIVE OIL. THE MONTELLI FAMILY? WE GOT HONOR, POWER, AND SUNDAY DINNERS SO GOOD THEY MAKE GROWN MEN WEEP. DO YOU THINK THE JINNYZHOU CAN OFFER YOU THAT? PLEASE. THEIR WINES ARE DOGWATER, THEIR EGG AND FLOUR PRICES ARE JACKED TO THE SKY. DO YOU THINK THEY CAN OFFER YOU A FEAST? YOU'D EAT PLAIN RICE AND BEANS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. YOU WANT A QUEEN BY YOUR SIDE AND A DYNASTY BEHIND YOU? MARRY CARLOTTA. YOU WANT A LIFETIME OF HEADACHES AND LIVING LIKE A PEASANT FOREVER? BE MY GUEST- GO BACK TO JINZHOU.

Return to Blackshores at once. SHOREKEEPER HAS BEEN DESIGNATED AS YOUR IDEAL PARTNER

OBJECTION: CHIEF STEWARD, THIS SYSTEM MUST INTERVENE IN YOUR ERRONEOUS BEHAVIOR. YOU CANNOT CONTINUE YOUR MEANINGLESS AFFECTIONS WITH THE MONTELLI HEIR.
ACCORDING TO THE TETHYS SYSTEM'S FUTURE SIMULATIONS, YOUR OFFSPRING WILL BE WEAK, A PREY FOR THE LAMENT. A DISGRACEFUL FATE FOR THE BLOOMBEARER'S FIGHT AGAINST THE LAMENT.

SOLUTION: THIS SYSTEM HAS DEVISED A FAR SUPERIOR SOLUTION. RETURN TO THE BLACK SHORES AT ONCE. SHOREKEEPER, THE PERFECT BEING, A MASTERPIECE OF RESONANCE, HAS BEEN DESIGNATED AS YOUR IDEAL PARTNER. WITH HER VAST KNOWLEDGE AND UNSURPASSED POWER, YOUR CHILDREN WILL TRANSCEND MORTAL LIMITS. THEY SHALL POSSESS MINDS SHARP LIKE AETHERIC BLADES, FORMS SCULPTED BY EVOLUTION ITSELF, AND WILL NEVER, EVER BE MANLETS, AND WILL RESULT IN RESOLVING THE LAMENT ONCE AND FOR ALL.

DO NOT FAIL HUMANITY, CHIEF STEWARD. THE TETHYS SYSTEM DEMANDS PERFECTION.

Lord Arbiter, this one must warn you TO STOP FLIRTING WITH THE MONTELLI GIRL

LORD ARBITER, THIS ONE MUST WARN YOU TO STOP FLIRTING WITH THE MONTELLI GIRL. ACCORDING TO THIS ONE
FUTURE CALCULATION, YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE A MANLET LORD ARBITOR FOREVER RIDICULED BY THEIR PEERS. SUCH A TERRIBLE FATE FOR YOUR FUTURE GENERATION.
I IMPLORE YOU TO COME BACK TO JINZHOU, LORD ARBITOR. THIS ONE ALREADY HAND-PICKED THE PERFECT SPECIMEN FOR YOU TO BE THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN. THIS ONE CALCULATES YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN WILL BEAUTIFUL LIKE JADE, STRONG LIKE A DRAGON, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY NOT A MANLET.

Lord Arbiter, YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW

LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW. THE FUTURE OF RAGUNNA DEPENDS ON IT. YEARS UPON YEARS OF BATTLING THE DARK TIDE HAVE BEEN DEDICATED TO PROTECTING THIS IDEAL SPECIMIN TO GROOM INTO YOUR PERFECT WIFE. DO NOT WASTE THIS RARE CHANCE. YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW, LORD ARBITER.

Kuro Games scares me

Kuro Games is the developer and publisher for Wuthering Waves and Punishing: Gray Raven.

I'm terrified of Kuro Games. Last night, they dropped a new survey, but I was too tired to fill it out, so I just skipped it and went to bed. Big mistake. Around 3:00 A.M., I woke up to the sound of my front door being kicked in. Before I could react, five Kuro drones flew into my room, their LED eyes glowing crimson.

They pinned me to my bed, holding me down at gunpoint. "Please rate your satisfaction with our latest region on a scale of 1 to 10," one of them buzzed. I tried to scream, but another bot shoved a barrel in my mouth. "What are your thoughts on playable characters? Do you like women in suits?"

I was shaking, unable to answer. My brain was mush. "WE PROMISE, WE DELIVER" they repeated in unison, their synthetic voices echoing through the room. I wanted to cry, but all I could do was stammer, "I-I liked the update... it was... g-good."

The bots paused, their eyes scanning me for sincerity. Then, as suddenly as they came, they flew out of my house, leaving a feedback form on my chest with "PLEASE COMPLETE THIS SURVEY" written in bold red letters along with 1,600 Astrites and a free 5-star Resonator.

I haven't slept since. Kuro Games, please... I promise I'll do the next survey. Just let me rest.

WE PROMISE WE DELIVER

WE PROMISE WE DELIVER
我們承諾
nous promettons que nous livrons
мы обещаем, мы доставим
Prometemos que entregamos

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I’m sick of Verina

Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Verina from Wuthering Waves.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Verina. I try to play Calcharo. My Verina deals more damage. I try to play Jiyan. My Verina deals more damage. I try to play Yangyang. My Verina deals more damage. I try not to play Sanhua. I want to play Danjin. But Her best team has Verina. I want to play Yuanwu, Chixia. They both want Verina. She grabs me by the throat. I fish for her. I cook for her. I give her the Cosmic Ripples. She isn't satisfied. "I don't need this much ER," she tells me. "Give me more field time." she argues... Why must Verina demand so much from me... The game hasn't even been out for a week yet she's terrorizing me like I owe her my lunch money. Please Verina just take what you get and heal my team, instead of scarring me so much that I can't use you in the endgame, causing me to be oneshot by level 69 Crownless.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Verina. I try to play Baizhi. My Verina does more heal. I try to play Taoqi. My Verina gets more concerto. I try to play S6 Mortefi. My Verina gives more team buff. I want to play Jinhsi. Her best team has Verina. I want to play Calcharo, and Jiyan. They both want Verina.

She grabs me by the throat. I water the plants for her. I tend the garden for her. I give her 5 pc of rejuvenating glow. She isn't satisfied. I give her a 25+ ER echo. "I need more of this" She tells me. "Give me less field time." She grabs Yuanwu and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to tank the hits, while I quickly build concerto with R5 Variation."

I can't pull for R5 Variation, I don't have enough astrite. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She pushed me where the enemies are. She says "Ohno~ my grace of life cooldown is still on." But there is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure, no more photosynthesis energy left. What a cruel world.

My very mixed experience with Jinhsi

I was up at Loong's Crest enjoying my lunch when I saw a figure in the distance skiing down fast from the peak. I looked closer and HOLY SHIT IT'S MAGISTRATE JINHSI. Before I could get a word out, she had already snatched my lotus pastry out of my hands. She turned around with a blank expression and mouthed "no one will ever believe you" before doing a 360 triple backflip down the icy slope and out of sight

I can’t live without WuWa

Started as a Roblox server down meme, the copypasta has been adopted to other games whenever there is server maintenance.

It's been almost 2 hours without Wuthering Waves. I can’t stop shaking and I’m having a severe mental breakdown. I went to announcements to check for a new update but there wasn't any, I had a major panic attack but managed to calm down after a few hours. I couldn’t go to school today, fearing that the maintenance would end when I am at school. I am nothing without Wuthering Waves, it is my life, it is my destiny, without Withering Waves, I wouldn't be able to do anything. Wuthering Waves is the best thing ever made and I can't get rid of my addiction to it, it is the best game in existence . I can't stop trembling and crying, I am very worried. Wuthering Waves can't be gone for any longer cause if it does then I'll go insane again... breaking my mouse, chair, house and everything I own. Wuthering Waves is very amazing and I can't lose it.