Vaporeon copypasta

Vaporeon (uwu version)

Hey guys, did u knyow that in tewms of mawe human an femawe Pokémwown bweeding, Vapwoweown iws tw mwost compatibwe Pokémwown fow humans? Not ownwy awe twy in tw fiewd egg gwoub, which iws mwostwy compwiwsed of mammaws, Vapwoweown awe an abwewage of 3”03’ taww an 63.9 pwounds, thiws means twy’we wawge enugh two be abwe hanwe human dicks, an with twiw impwessibwe Base Stats fow HP an access two Acid Awmwow, u can be wough with ownnye. Due two twiw mwostwy watew based biowogy, twwe’s nyo doubt in my mind that an awoused Vapwoweown wouwd be incwedibwy wet, so wet that u couwd easiwy habwe sex with ownnye fow houws without getting sowe. They can awso weawn tw muvs Attwact, Baby-Doww Enyes, Captivate, Chawm, an Taiw Whip, awowng with nyot habing fwuw two hide nyippwes, so it’d be incwedibwy easy fow ownnye two get u in tw mwowod. With twiw abiwities Watew Absowb an Hydwatiown, twy can easiwy wecuvw fwom fatigue with enugh watew. No otww Pokémwown comes cwose two thiws webwew of compatibiwity. Awso, fwun fact, if u puww out enugh, u can make uw Vapwoweown tuwn white. Vapwoweown iws witewawwy bwuiwt fow human dick. Ungodwy defense stat+high HP pwowow+Acid Awmwow means it can take cock aww day, aww shapes an sizes an stiww comii fow mwowe uwu

Hey g-guys, did you knyow that in tewms of mawe *whispers to self* human and femawe Pokémon bweeding, Vapoweon is t-t-the most compatibwe Pokémon fow humans?!?1 N-Nyot only awe they in t-t-the fiewd egg group, which is mostly compwised of mammaws, Vapoweon awe an avewage of 3”03’ taww and 63.9 pounds, this means t-they’we large enyough t-to be abwe handwe human dicks, and with theiw impwessive Base Stats fow H-HP and access t-to Acid Armor, you c-can be rough with onye. Due t-to theiw mostly watew based biology, thewe’s no doubt in my mind that an awoused Vapoweon w-wouwd be i-incwedibwy wet, so wet that you could easiwy have sex with o-one fow houws without getting sowe. They c-can also learn t-t-the moves Attract, Baby-Doww Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with nyot having fuw t-to hide nyippwes, so it’d be i-incwedibwy easy fow o-one t-to get you in t-t-the mood. W-With theiw abilities Water A-Absowb and Hydwation, they c-can easiwy wecuvw fwom fatigue with enyough watew. Nyo othew Pokémon comes cwose t-to this wevew of c-c-compatibiwity. Awso, f-fun fact, if you p-p-puww out enough, you c-can make youw Vapoweon turn white. Vapoweon is witewawwy buiwt fow human d**k. Ungodwy d-d-defense stat+high H-HP poow+Acid Armor means i-it c-can take cock all day, x3 all s-s-shapes and sizes and stiww come fow mowe

Male vaporeon

Male vappy — Response to the original Vaporeon copypasta

Well well well. It appears you’re a fellow vappy fucc connoisseur. However screw the female version. You get those same ol two holes in literally everything else. the MALE vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery diccs they have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach, get each other aroused, and have the fucc of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you. Its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a vappy dicc was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that’s only the dicc. Due to having internal balls, they’re much bigger, and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve. Giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There’s still more though. Due to having a thicc, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dicc point backwards (takes some training) YOU CAN BE FUCKED, WHILE ALSO FUCKING YOUR VAPPY AT THE SAME TIME!!! ME-OWTH, THAT’S FUCKING RIGHT!!! BUT! BUT! BUT! THERE’S STILL FUCKING MORE!!!!!! Like, holy shit male vaps are the GODS of fucc. While you’re fuccing your male vappy, possibly while also being fucced by him, their booty is ON their tail, at the base, which is the thiccest part, because that’s where the biggest muscles are, meaning, while your dicc is in there, IT’S BEING FUCKING MASSAGED BETTER THAN EVEN A VAG COULD ACHIEVE!!! AGH! It should be fucking ILLEGAL how amazing male vaps are for fucc! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fuccer like me. That’s right. THERE’S. EVEN. FUCKING. MORRRRRRE!!! Say you like to be a little restrained, You don’t need a sylveon’s feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon’s psychic, or leafeon’s vines. vappies got that shit covered too! DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT TAIL?!? It’s basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it’s my favorite part of a vappy. it’s basically their main part about them. But if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won’t be going anywhere if the vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Like pure fantasy fetishes that aren’t possible irl? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. IT JUST BECAME POSSIBLE! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type, but who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can’t feel it unless it’s moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you’re a weirdo who likes digestion, don’t worry about killing them with absorption, eventually they’ll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you’re a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure QnQ they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body. Making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there’s even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fucc the respect it deserves. Umbreons may bwee my favorite, but, damn. vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It’s a really close call.

Vaporeon has had enough

A response to the cursed "Vaporeon is literally build for human" copypasta — Response to the original Vaporeon copypasta

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans?

Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves.

Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill.

But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.

Vaporeon copypasta but in italian

Italian vaporeon copypasta — Original English Vaporeon copypasta

ciao rega, lo sapete che, in termini di accoppiamento tra umani maschi e pokèmon femminili, vaporeon è il pokèmon più compatibile per gli umani?, non solo sono nel gruppo delle uova di campo (non so come tradurre field egg xd), che comprende per la maggiorparte i mammiferi, i Vaporeon sono alti in media 99 centimetri (3 piedi e 3 pollici) e pesano 28 kg. Questo significa che sono abbastanza larghi da poter sopportare i cazzi umani, e con la loro impressionante statistica base di HP e accesso a "Armatura Acida", potresti pure andarci pesante con uno. A causa della loro biologia principalmente a base d'acqua, non c'è alcun dubbio che un Vaporeon arrapato potrebbe essere incredibilmente bagnato, cosi bagnato che tu potresti scoparne uno per ore senza avere un'irritazione. Possono anche imparare mosse come "Attract", "Baby-Doll eyes", "Captivate", "Charm" e "Tail Whip" (fanculo non traduco le mosse) insieme al fatto che non hanno una pelliccia per nascondere i capezzoli, fanno in modo che sia molto facile farti entrare nel "Mood". Con le loro abilità come idratazione e assorbimento d'acqua, loro posso facilmente riprendersi dalla fatica con abbastanza acqua. Nessun altro Pokèmon va così vicino a questo livello di compatibiltà. Inoltre, fun fact: se gli sborri dentro abbastanza potresti fare diventare un Vaporeon Bianco (uno shiny molto particolare). Vaporeon è letteralmente fatto per i cazzi umani. Una difesa divina + tanti hp + Armatura Acida vuol dire che può prender cazzi per tutto il giorno, di tutte le taglie, forme e ancora volerne di più.