Hey everyone,
I'm a CPEN major. Just finishing up my final year and have a job offer making $135K as a programmer a prestigious tech company.
Every time I go to a bar, party, or any social event in general, I try my best to avoid telling people what I do.
Every time I tell women I'm a CPEN major they start hitting on me.
Last week I went to a friend's birthday party. Told his sister I was a CPEN major. She kept asking me to "debug her code" and "reverse her linked list" in a flirtatious manner.
This is a reoccurring problem. It's gotten so bad that I tell women I "make websites" so they will stop hitting on me all the time.
Any advice on how to stop attracting so many women as a CPEN major?
The copypasta started from r/Cornell but had since been deleted. It’s actually a referenced to the Chincanery copypasta or more specifically the siblings relationship between Chuck and Jimmy McGill from Better Call Saul. In the show, Chuck is perpetually jealous of his younger brother Jimmy, who seemingly turned his life around and achieved success equal to him.
First of all, he graduated from Harvard Law School and works at a law firm. Like him, I am also seeking a law degree, but I’m at Cornell now. He hates that I’m graduating soon and he thinks the entire foundation of legal rule and the sanctity of law will be tarnished once I become a lawyer. To quote him directly, me being in law school is like “a chimp with a machine gun.” During our family Thanksgiving dinner today, he threw a tantrum in front of my family because he wanted to be the only lawyer. He wants to be the pride of the family. “Cornell University, for Christ’s sake?” He yelled at me as I asked my mom to pass the mashed potatoes. “What a joke. I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer?” I used to work in the mail room in his law firm. He said he was proud of me then and wishes I never turned my life around. Every day, I think about dropping out and going back to my old job just to make him happy…
Template version
First of all, he graduated from <School> Law School and works at a law firm. Like him, I am also seeking a law degree, but I’m at <School> now. He hates that I’m graduating soon and he thinks the entire foundation of legal rule and the sanctity of law will be tarnished once I become a lawyer. To quote him directly, me being in law school is like “a chimp with a machine gun.” During our family Thanksgiving dinner today, he threw a tantrum in front of my family because he wanted to be the only lawyer. He wants to be the pride of the family. “<School> University, for Christ’s sake?” He yelled at me as I asked my mom to pass the mashed potatoes. “What a joke. I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer?” I used to work in the mail room in his law firm. He said he was proud of me then and wishes I never turned my life around. Every day, I think about dropping out and going back to my old job just to make him happy…
As a freshman boy at Florida State University, I am saddened at the lack of goth girls who attend here. The majority of girls here are Blonde Taylor Swift Starbucks girls who seem to lack personality and originality. The underrepresentation of the goth girl subculture at FSU is likely tied to a few aspects, how it is notorious for its partying, (not typically a goth girl interest) the constant vibrant and sunny atmosphere, (ditto), and the overall lack of diverse appeal. I know that my fellow FSU male brethren are also disappointed at the lack of goth mommies here, they likely just conceal their pain better than I am capable of. Every single day I wake up and do my morning prayer hoping to spot an emo goth girl somewhere around campus, but alas, to no avail. Perhaps I am merely looking in the wrong places. If anyone knows where to find them please message me ASAP. Or if you are a goth girl reading this, don’t be afraid to shoot me a DM. I believe without finding a goth girl my mental health will continue to plummet and I’m afraid to know what I’m capable of if that happens. I may have to look into transferring if this issue does not get resolved. Any tips are much appreciated, thanks!
Origin
Started from the Florida State University subreddit by u/MedicalInspector6374 and has since spread to other college/university subreddits since then. The copypasta will usually start out with “As a freshman…” and then describes the lack of goth girls at the person’s university. It also describes most of the women studying there as “Blonde Taylor Swift Starbucks girl” and reveal that most of his “male brethren are also disappointed at the lack of goth mommies”.
This copypasta is part of the many university/college related copypasta that started circulating in 2023.
The copypasta originated from University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign subreddit in 2021 and was about Computer Science majors. It has spanned many different variations since then especially after the popularity of other different university related copypasta/shitposts related to Engineering majors.
Engineering
The females on this campus are out of control. The first time I ate lunch wearing my Iowa State Engineering shirt I had literally 3 different women try to sit down and court me, like I would know how to talk to a girl. I quickly demonstrated superior knowledge of each of their niche interests, which apparently eliminates me from the dating pool (why shame me for being smart?).
Anyway, that got them to leave but the problem has persisted in the past 2 months and I am so fed up with everybody wanting to get with me. I've taken to moving all the other chairs at tables I sit at to other tables, but yesterday a small asian woman literally pulled up a chair and began ranting about the last weekly CS 344 programming "project". Girl, I don't struggle with projects that are just homework. I'm an ENG major, not CS. After making it markedly clear that I did NOT in fact want to copulate against the glass walls of the SIC, she finally left me alone, but I wish these girls would stop worshipping me just because I am enrolled in the hardest program on campus (which was not difficult for me to get into, by the way).
The worst are when students from non-technical majors talk to me. We'll be having a nice, platonic conversation, when they inevitably ask the fateful question: "What's your major?" As soon as I say my magnificent degree, I see their whole demeanor change. The doe eyes, the flushed cheeks, the jiggling cleavage. What makes a business major think they have a chance with me. Engineering and something practically Liberal Arts are on whole different planes of existence. I'm not about to impregnate somebody that does drop shipping for "work."
You may think I'm just remarkably handsome, which I am, but my attractive acquaintances in “Engineering” Technology (they're not smart enough to be friends, but their childlike innocence is sometimes enviable), have literally no problems with this incessant harassment and courting from female creatures with their ‘Girl Themed Parties’. Females see me as an object and a genius, when really I'm so much more: I'm top 100 in War Thunder. My engineering shirt shouldn't reduce me to a bag of meat; if you want my heart, you have to grind with me, raid with me, join my clan, and most of all, watch Star Wars with me, and understand it -- no fake fans that shout "Luke - I am your father!" like its some kind of joke, when it's really the climax of the most tragic moment in Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back. Not that I cried.
If you want somebody for cheap sex, the business majors are right there (I don't blame you for avoiding non-war profiting business types though). Stop fetishizing my kind for something out of our control. I didn't want to be born a super genius. Hell, sometimes I wish I was a business major, moving through the world in ignorant bliss. But I have a responsibility now to save the world and create the next nuclear powered, hypersonic airplane spaceship (a continuance of Project METEOR obviously). Seductively touching my umbrella isn't going to make me want to get with you. Come back in a Mandalorian costume, solve the three body problem, or solve a problem without assuming incompressible, subsonic, laminar, steady, constant everything, and then we'll talk.
The females on this campus are out of control. The first time I ate lunch wearing my Grainger CS shirt (with fully covered legs, mind you), I had literally 3 different women try to sit down and court me, like I would know how to talk to a girl. I quickly demonstrated superior knowledge of each of their niche interests, which apparently eliminates me from the dating pool (why shame me for being smart?).
Anyway, that got them to leave but the problem has persisted in the past 3 months and I am so fed up with everybody wanting to get with me. I've taken to moving all the other chairs at tables I sit at to other tables, but yesterday a small asian woman literally pulled up a chair and began ranting about the last MP. Girl, I don't struggle with MPs. I'm a CS major, not CS+X. After making it markedly clear that I did NOT in fact want to copulate in the ISR bathroom, she finally left me alone, but I wish these girls would stop worshipping me just because I am enrolled in the hardest program on campus (which was not difficult for me to get into, by the way).
The worst are when students from non-technical majors talk to me. We'll be having a nice, platonic conversation, when they inevitably ask the fateful question: "What's your major?" As soon as I say those two magnificent letters, I see their whole demeanor change. The doe eyes, the flushed cheeks, the jiggling cleavage. What makes an art major think they have a chance with me. FAA and Grainger are on whole different planes of existence. I'm not about to impregnate somebody that paints happy little trees for "work."
You may think I'm just remarkably handsome, which I am, but my attractive acquaintances in ECE (they're not smart enough to be friends, but their childlike innocence is sometimes enviable), have literally no problems with this incessant harassment and courting from female creatures. Females see me as an object and a genius, when really I'm so much more: I'm top 100 in the world in Destiny 2. My gray shirt shouldn't reduce me to a bag of meat; if you want my heart, you have to grind with me, raid with me, join my clan, and most of all, watch Rick and Morty with me, and understand it -- no fake fans that shout "pickle rick" like its some kind of joke, when it's really the climax of the most tragic episode of season 3. Not that I cried.
If you want somebody for cheap sex, the ECE majors are right there (I don't blame you for avoiding CS + X though). Stop fetishizing my kind for something out of our control. I didn't want to be born a super genius. Hell, sometimes I wish I was an ECE major, moving through the world in ignorant bliss. But I have a responsibility now to save the world and create the next Facebook. Seductively touching Grainger Bob isn't going to make me want to get with you. Come back in a Morty costume, code a Y combinator, or implement Djikstra's recursively, and then we'll talk.
So my girl is applying ED to Cornell University this year and has been talking about it nonstop for weeks. She’s been wanting this for as long as she’s known the school and mentions it anytime we’re together.
I’m totally cool with that and have supported her through it all. She definitely has the stats to get in so I’m proud of her, but its an insane obsession now. She’s visited the school about 6 times and says how much she loves everything about the school and I mean EVERYTHING.
The campus, programs, people, architecture, history, traditions, colors, mascot, shape, smell?
She literally knows everything about the school and does Cornell trivia with me when we’re bored or asks me to help her write emails to professors she thinks she’ll have next year to tell them how much she “loves” their work.
Last night we were doing it in bed, and everything was going smoothly. While she talked me through it I thought I heard her mumbling but couldn’t really make out what she was saying. But at the end she screamed “Cornell!” and calling it baby and was saying how much she wanted it so bad and would do anything for it. Instead of my name! She said Cornell!
I asked her about it after and told me it didn’t mean anything and just kept rambling about how much she really wants the school. It doesn’t even sound like she’s talking about a school anymore.
I know she’s stressed because of it, but I’m kind of hurt? Is this normal?
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UC Berkeley
So my girl is applying to UC Berkeley this year and has been talking about it nonstop for weeks. She’s been wanting this for as long as she’s known the school and mentions it anytime we’re together.
I’m totally cool with that and have supported her through it all. She definitely has the stats to get in so I’m proud of her, but its an insane obsession now. She’s visited the school about 6 times and says how much she loves everything about the school and I mean EVERYTHING.
The campus, programs, people, architecture, history, traditions, colors, mascot, shape, smell?
She literally knows everything about the school and does Berkeley trivia with me when we’re bored or asks me to help her write emails to professors she thinks she’ll have next year to tell them how much she “loves” their work.
Last night we were doing it in bed, and everything was going smoothly. While she talked me through it I thought I heard her mumbling but couldn’t really make out what she was saying. But at the end she screamed “Berkeley!” and calling it baby and was saying how much she wanted it so bad and would do anything for it. Instead of my name! She said Berkeley!
I asked her about it after and she told me it didn’t mean anything and just kept rambling about how much she really wants the school. It doesn’t even sound like she’s talking about a school anymore.
I know she’s stressed because of it, but I’m kind of hurt? Is this normal?
UC Illinois
My gf screamed “Illinois” instead of my name in bed?
So my girl is applying to UIUC this year and has been talking about it nonstop for weeks. She’s been wanting this for as long as she’s known the school and mentions it anytime we’re together.
I’m totally cool with that and have supported her through it all. She definitely has the stats to get in so I’m proud of her, but its an insane obsession now. She’s visited the school about 6 times and says how much she loves everything about the school and I mean EVERYTHING.
The campus, programs, people, architecture, history, traditions, colors, mascot, shape, smell?
She literally knows everything about the school and does Illinois trivia with me when we’re bored or asks me to help her write emails to professors she thinks she’ll have next year to tell them how much she “loves” their work.
Last night we were doing it in bed, and everything was going smoothly. While she talked me through it I thought I heard her mumbling but couldn’t really make out what she was saying. But at the end she screamed “Illinois!” and calling it baby and was saying how much she wanted it so bad and would do anything for it. Instead of my name! She said Illinois!
I asked her about it after and she told me it didn’t mean anything and just kept rambling about how much she really wants the school. It doesn’t even sound like she’s talking about a school anymore.
I know she’s stressed because of it, but I’m kind of hurt? Is this normal?
Genuinely, there are a myriad of pretty girls on campus. I'm in awe every time I enter because they're all gifted with remarkable genetics. I can't help but admire all the beautiful girls at school because l've never seen so many before lollil
