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Town of Salem


Town of Salem throwing rant

    Throwing in Town of Salem rant
    Just... Hear me out for a moment because I'm considering throwing not only this game but my PC outta window as well, not to mention my own self. If I'm to believe my own eyes, 2 must be the most smooth brained, clueless piece of garbage ever known to mankind. JUST WHYYY...!!. WHY THE FUCK WOULD A MAYOR CLAIM THEIR ROLE DAY 1, BE CONFRONTED AND YET REFUSE TO REVEAL, TO THE POINT OF LETTING BEING PASSIVELY KILLED DESPITE ALL WARNING AND END UP THROWING AWAY 3 TOWN VOTES N2???? This is not just fucking throwing, this is a brainrot sorry byproduct of a humanoid "player" barely managing to breathe, let alone maintaining a single rational thought. Oh gyatt I swear if this player was traceable I would make arrangements to find them and lynch them IRL... Because HOLY SHIT. It's offensive to animals' intelligence how you can be so fucking cluelessly retarded. Speaking of which, autists worldwide must be perplexed and must have lost all faith in humanity if they could hear about what just happened. His defense was, beyond all reasoning, the most moronic, demagogic, unhinged macaquery I have ever heard about in my entire life span, let alone in ToS. Do us a favor, uninstall the game and have someone hang you since I'm pretty sure you can't do it yourself, not because you're unwilling to, but because you just can't. 

    Town of Salem battlepass – Chicanery

      Parody of the ‘Chicanery‘ copypasta from Breaking Bad but changed to Town of Salem 2 specifically about the Battlepass.

      I am not crazy! I know they swapped those scrolls. I knew it was only 5 town points per. One after four. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn’t prove it. They covered their tracks, they got that idiot on youtube to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? They've done worse. That battlepass! Are you telling me that a game just happens to monetize like that? No! They orchestrated it! BMG! They made ToS 1 no longer free! And I saved them! And I shouldn’t have. I bought their town will and ToS 2! What was I thinking? They'll never change. They'll never change! Ever since ToS 1, always the same! Couldn’t keep their hands out of the cash drawer! But not our BMG! Couldn’t be precious BMG! Stealing them blind! And THEY get to be a game studio? What a sick joke! I should’ve stopped them when I had the chance! 

      I’m lookin at this Baker sillouette and going “mommy?

        Im lookin at this baker sillouette and going "mommy? Sorry, Mommy?" LIKE PLEASE give me your breast milk! Fucking Hummina Hummina! Awooga, let me see that cake
        
        Let me see that dough! Bet she has so much dough back there, if she were to sit on my face id hold her big thighs and let her suffocate me. If she told me to make a sandwich i'd ask what type, if she told me to jump id ask how high. She could lock me in a cage and keep me as her pet, feeding me only when she feels like it...
        
        I cant even focus on the recipe she wants me to do cause im to busy thinking about her curves and Gorgeous body... If only she could control me like the witch controls her victims... God I love the Baker.

        Oh, let me tell you about Godframer from Town of Salem

          Oh, let me tell you about Godframer from Town of Salem, a remarkable entity that has not just walked into our lives, but soared into our hearts with unparalleled grace and significance. Godframer, in the context of Town of Salem, has been the beacon of hope that my family never knew we needed. In the darkest of times, when despair threatened to shroud our lives, Godframer emerged as the light, illuminating our existence with its brilliance and wisdom. Its influence, its mere presence, has woven the very fabric of our family's unity, gifting us a shared passion, a common purpose. Godframer, in its digital form, saved us from the mundane and transformed our everyday moments into thrilling adventures, as we strategized, laughed, and bonded over our shared victories. It's more than just a character; it's a symbol of resilience, friendship, and the extraordinary power of online communities. Godframer didn't just save my family; it gifted us an unbreakable bond and countless cherished memories, making it the greatest blessing we could have ever wished for.

          Potion master

            Potion master copypasta from Town of Salem
            If i could bang any of the coven members it would be potion master for sure. I would grab that silver haired slut and lynch her asshole so hard even Ret couldnt bring that ass back after i was done with it.I would destroy those painted lips like i was maf and those lips werejailer after all the tps were dead. I would make her ride me like town rides people who claim bg on the stand. I wouldn't use protectionI'd be so reckless with her, like visitng the guy who talked d1. Legit,I would eat her out like a starving Ethiopian child at an all-you-can-eat buffet. I would cream in her so much people would start calling her "frosted cake". I would split those cheeks so well Moses would compliment me on my ability to split things. I would bang potion masterso hard shed leave coven for me. I love potion master.
            You know I never really looked at and fully appreiciated how hot the Potion Master silhouette really is... Though it could just be my love for the Mad scientist trope, I can't help but stare at how he holds those viles. His handling of the potions tell me just how skilled and delicate to hold them in such a way, wonder if his hands are just as skilled..
            
            If they told me to test their elixers, I'd happily do so, hoping that maybe what ever they brewed would be something that could change my body to fit his desire. Maybe a brew that makes my mind and body unable to resist his command. I'd let him do any experiment on me that he wishes, my body was donated to him afterall so I realistically couldn't deny his requests without some punishment... Oh but the idea of a punishment justs makes me even more entralled with him! God I love the potion master so much!
            God I love the Potion Master so much, I love their long silver hair with their lips covered in that brown lipstick, and their lovely coat they hide their potions in. I go over to their hideout with their friends everyday, sneaking in with their help. Once we are both alone together, they hand me a potion, one that has a pink color to it, I drink it, becoming horny and hard instantly as I quickly take my clothes off. I pin them against the wall, with them begging for me to destroy them as I take off their clothes too. After I finish taking off their clothes I enter them quickly without any warning, hearing them moan out loud because of all the force I initially enter with, I wouldn’t even be gentle with them, just thrust inside of the forcefully as I feel their body shake. I would bite their neck as I pulled their silver hair, hearing them moan out in pleasure from the pain asking for more. I tell them to wrap their legs around me as I hold them up against the wall, holding one of my hands under them as I support them and slap their ass. I would continue like this with her for sometime before I took my other hand and started massaging her perfect breasts, as she looked up at me with a look that was her pleading for more, I would go even faster and rougher with her as I praised and degraded her, calling her a slut for taking this from me every day but also praising her with how beautiful and obedient she was. I keep going, feeling her legs go limp from the roughness as she shakes and begs for more as her eyes get fuller, and she starts at me eyes wide and her open mouth as I continue to break her, I bite her so hard it’s almost like I was a Vampire trying to convert her, all of this makes it so she just moans constantly, only speaking to me to beg for more but she now calls me master. Eventually she orgasms and tightens around me as I do as well, cumming inside of her without asking because I know she’d love it, just all the other nights, once we are done with both of our orgasms, I pull out as she lets out a soft moan, I clean us both up as she talks to me in a new way of speech that only comes out when I do this, I also pet her and talk to her while that happens, and she purrs to show she enjoys it. Once I finish with the clean up we put our clothes back on as we get into her bed together, she cuddles up to me and wraps her arms around me as she talks about how she loves to serve me, I talk about how much of a good girl she is as I start to pet her again, we continue with this for a bit before we both fall asleep, cuddled up together.