TIFU my cupping my husbands balls and licking his nipple
Let me start this by saying we’re both pretty big trolls and we’re always fucking with each other. Our most recent battles have been “bean dipping” each other.
See bean dip: To flick a woman's (or man's) breast with the index finger. Dubbed "bean dip" because the move is similar to that of scooping up bean dip.
Anyways, the last couple of days I have decided to up the “bean dipping” and randomly cup his balls and lick his nipple creepily lol. At the fridge, making dinner, brushing teeth. Doesn’t matter. The more unexpected the better. The more I can get him to make the shocked pikachu face, the better!
So anyways. Here come the TIFU.
It’s 8am. We’re just waking up — still in bed, doing our morning cuddling. Morning time is usually our “sexy time”.
I cup his balls, lick his nipple — but this time, no pikachu face. This time…
This time he farts the raunchiest fart of all the land. And pulls the blanket over my head. I’ve been Dutch ovened, FUCK!
But things get worse. I’m gagging and he jumps out of bed and charges out of the room coughing at his own putrid-ness. I shortly follow. PUKING.
I puked. And puked. And puked.
Our room STILL smells. We have two fans and an AC unit in that bitch. And IT. STILL. SMELLS. He’s McNasty lol
TL;DR: Trolled my husband. Got Dutch ovened. Puked.
