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The Finals


To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Finals

    Satire of posts about The Finals on why the game isn’t as popular because the general FPS playerbase are too stupid. The original pasta is for Rick and Morty that became a meme.

    To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Finals. The gameplay is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the mechanics will go over a typical FPS player’s head. There's also Scotty's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about GAME. As a consequence people who dislike The Finals truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Junes's existential catchphrase "thats right scotty" which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Embark's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 
    To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Finals. The strategies are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the tactics will go over a typical player's head. There's also Scotty's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Finals truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Scotty's existential catchphrase "Easy Money," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Embark's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
    
    And yes, by the way, i DO have a The Finals tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎
    

    Dead game. Apex has retaken the crown again

      Dead game. Apex has retaken the crown again with S20 launch. 400k+ concurrent daily players compared to this beautiful 20-30k lmfao. It's not even close. This game had tons of potential, but the devs loved to take their sweet time with fixes/balance updates/ranked updates. For fun games have no place in the market anymore unfortunately, if you release an FPS game you better go all in on the competitive scene or else it'll die. This game has hands down the absolute worst ranked system on earth. Plus devs even said they won't be focusing on the competitive side much. Which means this game is dead in the water. Sure, some people play games for fun. But not very many people play ONLINE PVP FPS games for fun. And that shows in the numbers. 

      I FUCKING HATE THE GARDEN GNOME CLASS

        The Finals copypasta
        Those stupid DWARFs do nothing but scurry around my feet at 10000MPH and slash at my ankles until I KEEL OVER and BLEED OUT. I CAN'T STAND when these TINY BOYS turn invisible and HIDE IN A CORNER waiting for you to start DEPOSITING MONEY or capturing the objective and then POUNCE on you. THEY THINK THEY ARE HOUDINI when they STOP BEING TRANSPARENT and BLOW your BRAINS OUT. What do you mean they need a buff??? They have the HITBOXES OF A CHILD and can DISAPPEAR AT WILL??? What do you mean you die in 1 second, put on your HARRY POTTER CLOAK and no one can shoot at you??? On top of that they literally hold the LONG JUMP WORLD RECORD, they fling themselves from building to building LIKE THEY ARE FUCKING SPIDER MAN??!! It makes no sense, they are SMALL and have LITTLE LEGS why do they RUN SO FAST?? I cant even when they WAIT FOR EVERYON TO DIE and then JUST take the MONEY without BEING SEEN. Don't even get me started on when they have the SNIPERS who SHOOT AT ME when I DONT HAVE THE VAULT and AM NOT ON THE OBJECTIVE. Who are you helping??? Do you just get a rise out of HELPING THE WINNNING TEAM???? GOD FORBID a PACK OF 3 get near you, WHICH ONE DO YOU SHOOT AT???? I CAN'T even tell the difference when I damage one, THEY ARE HUNGRY PIRANNAHS. I see them in MY DREAMS and they TERRORIZE me WHEN I SLEEP.