System of a Down

Created by r/dookiebutt777, its a shitpost story of getting bullied by Serj Tankian the lead vocalist for the band System of a Down. The absurd story then got adopted by other fanbase and became a copypasta.

Serj bullied me in high school. Only problem I was in high school from 2016-2020 and Serj was already like 50 by that point. He didn’t go to the same school I went to or even live in the same state for that matter. It was so bizarre to find him waiting for me outside at the bus stop every afternoon just to make fun of me in front of my crush or knock things out of my hands. One time I sang a System of a Down cover at a school talent show and the whole crowd cheered after I had finished, letting me know I did well but after the applause had died down, Serj stood up from the very back of the audience and booed me really aggressively and made sure that everyone knew it was his song and he can do it better. Another time he even told my bus driver that I had crabs and if he lets me on the bus I’m liable to get everyone on the bus infested which was just a total lie. I’ve never met Serj before this started happening and am from a pretty small remote town in Tennessee. The final time I ever saw him was at my graduation ceremony, somehow he had gotten involved with the whole program and was standing on stage beside my high school’s principal shaking the students’ hands. When it was my turn to walk across the stage and I locked eyes with Serj for the final time, he gripped my hand firmly and said “no one will ever believe what I’ve done to you, but know that you are going to be a better man because of it.” I’m still not sure why a millionaire musician would randomly decide to start doing this to someone, or how it affected me into being a better person in the long run, but at least I have this story to tell. 

Edmund McMillen bullied me in high school

Edmund McMillen bullied me in high school. Only problem I was in high school from 2016-2020 and Edmund was already like 40 by that point. He didn’t go to the same school I went to or even live in the same state for that matter. It was so bizarre to find him waiting for me outside at the bus stop every afternoon just to make fun of me in front of my crush or knock things out of my hands. One time I sang Living in the light cover at a school talent show and the whole crowd cheered after I had finished, letting me know I did well but after the applause had died down, Edmund stood up from the very back of the audience and booed me really aggressively and made sure that everyone knew it was his song and he can do it better. Another time he even told my bus driver that I had crabs and if he lets me on the bus I’m liable to get everyone on the bus infested which was just a total lie. I’ve never met Edmund before this started happening and am from a pretty small remote town in Tennessee. The final time I ever saw him was at my graduation ceremony, somehow he had gotten involved with the whole program and was standing on stage beside my high school’s principal shaking the students’ hands. When it was my turn to walk across the stage and I locked eyes with Edmund for the final time, he gripped my hand firmly and said “no one will ever believe what I’ve done to you, but know that you are going to be a better man because of it.” I’m still not sure why a millionaire game designer would randomly decide to start doing this to someone, or how it affected me into being a better person in the long run, but at least I have this story to tell.