Steam Review

WARNING! Carry on reading!

Original Clarissa version

WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa. She was ten years old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the government decided that the best idea was to get rid of her, so they set up a special room to kill her, as humanely as possible, but it went wrong, and the machine they were using to kill her malfunctioned, so she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death, she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other profiles on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best luck of your life.

Joey Steam Workshop version

WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little boy called Joey, he was ten-years-old and he lived in a mental hospital because he posted a shitty copypasta onto a People Playground mod's comment section . He got so bad he went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the Feds decided that best idea was to get rid of him so they set up a special room to kill him, as inhumane as possible. And he sat there in agony for hours until he died. Now every week on the day of his death he returns to the person that reads this letter, on a monday night at 12:00 a.m. He creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by pegging you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other profiles on this one site, and he will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes nothing will happen: sorry man i am not taking the risk

I am a 45 yo father, probably one of the oldest people playing this game

I am a 45 yo father, probably one of the oldest people playing this game. I am a single father to my Son, who is 14 now. My son got this game for Christmas in 2021 from his uncle, so we installed it on his computer and he started playing. By the end of the week he had 24 hours on this game. This was horrible for me, as it was already hard for me to find ways to spend time with my son, as he is always out with his friends or just watching YouTube. So i decided to make a Steam account and get this game to see if I could maybe play alongside him. I loaded into the game, picked my character and world and started playing but I was stuck on what you where supposed to do. I asked my Son for help and he hosted a game for me to join. I loved it as it was the best time I had spent with my Son since my wife had died. This game has ever since brought me and my son closer again and now we actually spend time together outside the house together as well. This game reminded me that there's fun to be had in everything, and it has brought both me and my Son many happy memories.

I let mine 5 year old son play this game

I let mine 5 year old son play this game because he sad he liked game and want very much so I buy game for him but little later he come to me and say "daddy this game much scary!!" I look at game and it say: "ZOMBIE EAT YOU BRAIN!!!" and me was shock. how can this game be allow for childs? this game has blood and violins, zombie eat your vegetables!! zombie may no eat vegetable, my son eat vegetable!! he is now life shock and he have to take pills everyday!! tanks so very much electric art!!! this game much bad and scary, I rate 16 and over!! not play this game, this very innapropait!!! u has been warninged!!!!!

Steam Game Review checklist template

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☐ Teens
☐ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☐ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☐ 10


☐ ☑

Open Satire VersionClose

---{ Condition }---

☑ AIDS

☐ Cancer

☑ Micropenis

☑ Baldness

☐ Fever

☐ Congutivities

☑ Furry

---{ Likes? }---

☑ Kids

☑ Teens (Under 18)

☐ Adults

---{ Sex }---

☐ Very good

☐ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☑ None

---{ Time to c(u)m }---

☑ Time is irrelevant

☐ Short

☐ Average

☐ Long

☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Parental Love }---

☑ Isn't necessary to progress

☐ Average

☐ Too much

---{ Inteligense }---

☐ Very good

☐ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☑ I do reviews with template

---{ Game }---

Yeah, it's good. You should play it.