Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
What da doo-doo did yousa just say about meesa, yousa litta bitty bitch? I’ll has yousa know meesa graduated bombad of meesa class in da Jedi Seals, and meesa been involved in numerous secret raids on da Federation, and meesa has over 300 confirmed kills. Meesa trained in guerilla warfare and meesa da bombad sniper in da entire Republic armed forces. Yousa nutting to meesa but just another target. Meesa ganna wipe yousa da doo-doo out with precision da likein of which has never been seen before on dis Naboo, mark meesa doo-doo words. Yousa thinkin yousa ganna getin away with sayin da doo-doo to meesa over da internet? Thinkin again. As weesa speak meesa contacting meesa secret network of spies across da Republic and yousa IP is bein traced right now so yousa bombad prepare for da storm, maggot. Da storm dat wipes out da pathetic litta bitty thing yousa call yousa life. Yousa doo-doo dead, kid. Meesa ganna be anywhere, anytime, and meesa ganna kill yousa in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with meesa bare hands. Not only meesa extensive train in unarm combat, but meesa access to da entire arsenal of da Republic Jedi Order and meesa ganna use it to its full extent to wipe yousa miserable doo-doo off da face of da galaxy, yousa litta bitty doo-doo. If only yousa can has known what unholy retribution yousa litta bitty “clever” comment was about to bring down upon yousa, maybe yousa woulda held yousa doo-doo tongue. But yousa couldn’t, yousa didn’t, and now yousa gonna pay da price, yousa goddamn idiot. Meesa ganna doo-doo fury all over yousa and yousa ganna drown in it. Yousa doo-doo dead, kiddo.
I’m fucking furious, after 20 years you’d think you know someone right?
Today I asked her “hey I’m in the mood to watch some Star Wars, wanna join me?” To where she replied “sure.” I told her we can just skip all of the bad movies that the alt right has an obsession with (the prequels) and go straight to watching the objective masterpieces known as the ST. My wife LAUGHED (yes directly at me, no fucking respect from this woman) replying she didn’t really like them and found them boring. I looked at her straight in the eye, it all became clear to me, my wife is a misogynist, she just hates women, she doesn’t respect women whatsoever.
So I slapped that dumb bitch in the face and screamed “I WILL NOT TOLERATE MISOGYNY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD, YOU JUST HATE IT BECAUSE IT HAS A FEMALE LEAD” she (thankfully) started to cry with a confused look on her face and asked what came over me and why would I do that. I looked at her directly in the eyes again furiously, and asked her “what did you say about the sequel trilogy again?!?” She started yelling, blood and tears rolling down her face, with her voice cracking “you hit me over that?!!? Because I didn’t like a movie?!????” That was the last straw, I then said “I want a divorce” she replied “you just broke my nose and now want to divorce me over a pair of fucking movies!?!?!? After everything I’ve done for you?!?!? After saving your life!?!?!” I proceeded to walk out of the door, I looked back at her and said “I will not be married to someone who has 0 respect for women” Spat at her, then said “die mad about it” and left.
