Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
For those wondering this is how you get the good ending:
In episode II during the Padme section, make sure to have Aniken build the sand castle with you. As much as the -3 hurts the initial relationship, it pays back double. Assuming you make the correct relationship choices, instead of the usual cutscene during the sand people slaughter, Ankien will see the sandchild building the sandcastle. It will be revealed that it was a rouge sandperson that kidnapped mama skywalker. She’ll still die, but your karma will take way less of a hit.
In the Yoda Flashback make sure to complement Dooku’s new kicks. Dooku will remember this.
Make Sure as Jar Jar you steal Palpatine’s diary. Play the time ocarina perfectly. When you run across Papa Palpatine make sure to convince him that Sheev can join the bubble opera troupe and still be a man.
As painful as the product placement is, before going to Utapau, make sure to select Master Kenobi and get the can of Monster Zero Ultra WhiteTM from Master Kojima
So listen. Hear me out. When Padme and Anakin met, they were both underage: Anakin at 9 and Padme at 14. Still a questionable relationship, but not illegal or statutory rape. Furthermore, they were separated soon after meeting, as Padme went back to Naboo and Anakin became a padawan under Obi Wan. While it was obvious that Anakin was in love in episode 1, it's not really suggested that Padme was yet having sexual thoughts about Anakin. They did not meet again until episode 2, where they were both above age 18. Only then do we see Padme falling in love with Anakin. So, in conclusion, it's reasonable to assume that they never had sex until episode 2 and Padme is definitively not a pedophile.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
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