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Star Wars copypasta


May 4th

    Hey👋 there you 👈🤡 STAR⭐⭐ WHORES💃😩😜! Know🤔 what day 🌞 it is🤭🧐🤔🤔🤔? You 👈🍑 guessed 🤔 it😆😆, its may 🗓 the girth🌭🌭 be with you 👈 day 📆. These are definitely 💯 the voids⚫🍩I'm looking👀👁️ to fill 💦🤰. Stop✋✋ doing the hand🍆✊✊ 💦solo and darth 💀 maul👄 this pussy😺😹😽. Time 🕐🕠🕣 to get 🉐🔛 princess👸👸👸 leia-d💏. Daddy 🍆👨🐴 😉💖💦vader better 👍 force 🖐 choke🤞🤞💪👐 me. Don't 🚫 🚫want no 🚫 😣😣baby👶🍼 yoda🤰🤰 so into the garbage 🗑 chute🗑️🍑🍑, flyboy🦸‍♂️🚀. Cant 🚫 rule👑 the galaxy💫 so I'll 📝 just settle 👍 for Uranus🪐. Send⬆️ this to all 💯 your 👉 other STAR 🌟✨🌠 ⭐⭐ WHORES💃😩😜!!!! If you 👉🤖 get 🉐 5️⃣ back 🔙 you 👉 are a dirty😛😫😘 wookie 🐶. If you 👉 get 🉐 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🔙 you 👉 are granted 🐩🙏🏾 a seat💺 on 🔛 🔛🔛the seNUT💦💦. If you 👉 get 🉐 1️⃣5️⃣ back⬅️⬅️ you 👈🏼 are a padaHUN😘💋. If you 👉😭 get 🉐 2️⃣0️⃣ back 🔙 you 👉🏼👤❤ are a real 😍 Jedi 🗡👎 mastwhore💯💘😩🙈🙆‍♂️
    HEY ❗ HOE-LEBRITIES 💦 it’s Star 🌟☀ Waars Day 👼☀ or as 🍑 we like to call it ️ May 🤷 the 👭 Fourth Be With 😋 You !!! Did 🏻🌼 you know 🤔😇 Admiral Ackbar was 👏👨 a 💰 pimp bitch 😢😡 ️ that 🙎😐 turned 🔄 traitor? Did you 👍 know 😲 Princess 💦🙀 Leia used 🚟😏 to give 🎁💦 sloppy joes in the 👏 cockpit even ⏯🌃 while 💯👱 they 🗓 were 👶👶 flying ️ through 🔛 an 😲😚 asteroid field? 🏑 But most of 💯 all 👨 did 👏👏 you 👏 know 💭🤔 that Han Solo 😏 is 🙀 the 🅰👄 reason 😤😞 why 😩 Chewbacca never came back from Uranus? Send 📩 this 👌 to 💥💦 ten fellow 💦💦 sluts 💰 who 🚫🏻 enjoy 🦁 phallic shaped snacks !!! If you 🆗⚜ don’t 🚫👎 get 👨😟 a response 🎉🎉 then u 🔥👤 aren’t getting any 🅱 dick till 😅😅 your 🏼 50 👏👏 years 📅💯 old if ❗ you 👶 get 🍌 5 ♀ responses then 🅱😂 you 👈💗 will 👏 be 🍆👬 eaten 👅👅 out 👅 for an entire light year
    LISTEN UP 👂🎧 C3P-HOES 🤖AND BANGO FETTS 🔫🫡 ITS STAR WARS DAY ✨⭐️ AND MAY THE FORCE 🥺 BE IN YOU 🥵😳TODAY IS THE DAY TO CUM 😏💦TO THE DARK SIDE 😈👹AND SEXECUTE ORDER 6️⃣9️⃣ 👌 GET READY FOR CHEWCOCKA 🍆🐓TO EAT YOUR ASS 🍑🍽️LIKE A ROASTED WOMPRAT 🔥🐀REBEL AGAINST DADDY EMPEROR’S SPANKINGS 💀👏UNTIL YOU SEE STARS 🤩😵‍💫BUT THATS NO MOON 🌚❌THATS DARTH VADERS FAT ASS 🦾🍑WHEN SEXY SHEEV TELLS YOU 😏😏”DO IT” 😏😏YOU KNOW HES ABOUT TO SE-NUT 🥜🥜🥜👨‍⚖️ I KNOW IM READY TO GO BALLS DEEP😩😤 IN JABBA THE SLUTT 🐌👧MAKE SURE TO SEND THIS TO 2️⃣0️⃣ OF YOUR HORNIEST JEDI 😜🟢🔵OR YOULL BE GOING HAND SOLO TONIGHT ✊😭 GET 5️⃣ BACK AND KIT FISTO 👊 WILL HELP YOU WIELD HIS SABER 🦑🍆GET 1️⃣5️⃣ BACK AND BOBA FETISH WILL SUCK YOUR TATOOINE TOES 👅🦶DONT LET BABY YODA 👶🤢SEE YOU HYPERDRIVE FOR CUMMIES💨💨💦 💦 
    Happy 😊Star 🌟Wars💣 day cummy💦!!!!! May👏 the👌 4th 😳be🤚 with you🙏. Remember 🧠all of your👈 fave 👄characters👯 on this blessed day🙏🙏🙏: Obi WANK Kenobi💦, HOEda😩, Jabba the SLUT😜, C3PHOE🤭 and all your other favourite rebel sCUMMIES💦💦Send this to 5 🤚other StormPOOPERS 😍 for the force to be with you 👉👈
    Hey space ☄⭐️🌟loving skanks 💫💫💫. Today is may the fourth 4️⃣4️⃣4️⃣4️⃣4️⃣. Know what that means❓❓Princess 👸👸👸Leia needs her buns 🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑 readjusted 😈 Chewbacca 🐻 🐻🐻called and he wants to chew 👅👄 on your light saber 🔦🔦 let all the big cock 🍆🍆🍆Jedis storm ⚡⛈🌧️troop into that ENDLESS BLACK HOLE PUSSY 🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳take a cue from big dick darth Vader 💂🏿💂🏿💂🏿 and call me DADDY!! 👴🏽🍆🍆🍆🍆 it's 🆗 if you don't CUM 💦💦💦back to 🌏🌍🌎 today bc yoda 👴🏻🐸🐍🐢🐲🐉needs your ~guidance~ 🍆👌🏽fwd this to 5 of your sexiest space hoes 🙋🏼 💦💦🍑or your AstoNUTS 🍒will cosmically explode 💥💥💥 may the force of your 🍆DICK 🍆be with all you cummy space thots😛⭐️⭐️💦🍑💫 
    May the 4️⃣th be with you 👇 my handsome 😳 padawan👨‍👦🧐 ehehe 🤣 train you now 🗣🤸‍♂️🤸‍♀️🤸🏽 master 😈 yoda 👽 will ⛓️💋💢 wait ✋️ no moon 🌚 that is 🚫⁉️ oh 😮‍💨 ehehe 🌝 its just my lightsaber 🥒🥒🥒 ready to kill again i am💀👻😫 im 9️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ years old 🧓🏻 R2 🤖 make me a 🥪 sandwich 😋 
    Episode 4️⃣IV, A NEW🔜🙏 HOPE🙏
    
    It is a 🔴period😡 of 🇺🇸civil ⚔️🔫war🗡. Rebel🌌🌃 spaceships🚀, striking from a 🔎hidden🔍 ⛰base, have 🥇won🥇 their 1️⃣first 🏆victory🏅 against the 👺evil👹 🛰Galactic 🇬🇧Empire🇬🇧. During the 🤼‍♀️battle🤼‍♂️ , Rebel🇺🇸 😎spies managed to 👦🏿steal👴🏿 🙀secret 🤐📝plans to the 🇬🇧Empire’s🇬🇧 ultimate 🔫weapon🗡, the ☠️DEATH🌚STAR🌟, an armored 🛰space station with enough ✊🏿power⚡️ to 🔥💥destroy an entire 🌎planet🌏. Pursued by the Empire’s 🕶sinister agents🕵️, 💀Princess⚰️Leia☠️ 🏇races🏃 🏘home🏠 aboard her 🚀🛰starship, custodian 🇲🇽 of the stolen🏃🏿 plans that can 😩save😫 her people👫👭👬 and restore 🇺🇸freedom🇺🇸 to the 🌠galaxy….🌌

    Been watching Star Wars in “Kurosawa mode” and it’s awesome

      Posted by u/yotothyo, it was intended as a way to enjoy Star Wars while using the black-and-white to study film lighting. The post has been circle-jerked for calling it “Kurosawa mode” despite it being a fun experiment to understand cinematic lighting and visual storytelling.

      Been watching Star Wars in "Kurosawa mode" and it's awesome
      
      Turned the color all the way down on my tv so it's black and white and switched the language track to Japanese w/English subtitles.
      
      Makes them feel even more like the hidden fortress/flash gorden serials they were meant to be.
      
      It's awesome. I'm going to watch all of them this way. A neat way to view them in a new way if you seen them a million times.
      
      The phantom menace is particularly interesting because it actually looks really good in black and white (better then in color in my opinion) and the Japanese dialog covers up the bad voice acting of the originals. Young anakins voice actor for example plays it a little more low key and I actually enjoyed the character a little more. The cg looks better too.
      
      As an added bonus on Disney plus the alternate language tracks line up with the lip flap so it doesn't look like a bad overdub.
      
      Anyway, super super cool experiment highly recommend it. 

      Obi-Wan doesn’t need the high ground to win

        Obi-Wan doesn't need to be on the high ground, the high ground just needs to exist within the battle; Obi-Wan knows that when he has the low ground, he really has the high ground, from a certain point of view; see Diagram A.
        
        Look at his battle record:
        
        Maul: Has low ground, wins Example A
        
        Dooku: No high ground, loses
        
        Dooku rematch: No high ground, loses Example B.
        
        Greivous: Has low ground, wins Example C
        
        Vader: Has high ground, wins
        
        Vader rematch: No high ground, loses
        
        Obi-Wan with the high/low ground is canonically the most powerful Jedi. This is fact. Had Yoda not denied his request to battle The Senate with typical Jedi arrogance, Obi-Wan could have defeated Palpatine in the Senate building, which housed a variety of different altitudes; this was designed so that the Chancellor could always have the moral high ground in political debates. But Obi-wan didn't fight The Senate, and Yoda soon learned that you can't cleave the Sheev in a normal 1v1. It took the Tusken Raiders years of conflict against Old Ben Kenobi to grasp his superiority in terrain advantage, as you see them visibly flee in ANH when they realize he holds the low (inverse-high) ground; this was the optimal strategy against a near-invincible opponent.
        
        Yoda is shorter than virtually every other fighter, which gives him a permanent low-ground disadvantage; however, his saber-fighting style utilizes a flipping-heavy technique in order to negate this weakness for a temporary window. You'll notice that, after falling from the central podium in The Senate's building, he immediately retreats upon realizing he is on the lowest ground. You'll also notice that, while training Luke, he rides on him like a mount, to gain the intellectual high ground and accelerate Luke's training. Example D . Obi-Wan's defensive Form III lightsaber style synergizes with his careful military maneuvers; as he only strikes when prepared, he can always hold the strategic high ground. (The business on Cato Neimodia doesn't count.) You'll come to realize that this is why Commander Cody's artillery strike failed against Obi-Wan, when hundreds of Jedi were killed in similar attacks. Cody failed to grasp the strategic situation, as the Jedi Master's elevation was superior to his by hundreds of meters, making him virtually unkillable. (You'll notice that all the Jedi killed in Order 66 were on level ground with the clones, thereby assuring their demise.) Had Cody taken his time and engaged the Jedi on even terrain, he would have succeeded. Obi-Wan subsequently retreated under the surface of the lake, so that he could maintain the topographical low/high ground. This is why Obi-Wan is so willing to fight against impossible odds to the point where he thrusts himself in immediate danger; when your probability of victory is 1-to-10, you have the statistical (and therefore strategic) low ground, a numerical advantage when you use your point of view to flip the value to 10/1 . Almost losing is, in Obi-Wan's case, certain victory. (See Example E).
        
        As we all know, spinning is a good trick. However, only the Chosen One can spin outside of a starfighter. Palpatine tried spinning, but he lost due to this technique (but this was intentional, as losing gave him the emotional high ground when Anakin arrived). The reason for this is that spinning provides a yin-yang approach to combat (based in Eastern philosophy on balance), giving the spinner the high ground from above and below. Only the Chosen One can master the spin, as it is their destiny to maintain balance in the universe. This is why Obi-Wan was so emotional after defeating Vader on Mustafar; he expected to lose the high ground to the spin, but Anakin fell to the dark side and could no longer use his signature trick, becoming the very thing he swore to destroy. Additionally, Anakin told Obi-Wan that, from "[his] point of view, the Jedi are evil". This broadens Anakin's mind to the concept of relativity in the context of the moral high ground, a mere step away from tactical comprehension.
        
        Anakin doesn't hate sand for the reasons he told Padme; all Jedi hate sand, as the battlefield can rapidly change between low and high ground on multiple vectors, so your perspective must be from a certain three-dimensional point of view in order to comprehend who holds the high ground. This is the only reason why Obi-Wan killed Maul in Rebels. This is also the reason why Obi-Wan hates flying; there is no gravity in space, therefore there is no high or low ground from any frame of reference (This also negates the spinning trick, as noted in Example F).
        
        In ANH, Vader proves his newfound mastery by engaging Obi on perfectly even ground. However, Obi-Wan intentionally sacrifices himself on the Death Star, so that he could train Luke from a higher plane of existence, thereby giving him the metaphysical high ground Example G.
        
        Why was Vader so invested in the construction and maintenance of the Death Star? Because he knows Obi-wan can't have the high ground if there's no ground left. Image A. As seen through the events of the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan was known to be on friendly terms with Senator Organa, whose homeworld held large quantities of mountainous terrain, the perfect habitat for a Jedi Master. Grand Moff Tarkin was already in position to destroy Alderaan as a first target, as the distance from Scarif to Alderaan was too vast to reach between the escape and recapture of the Tantive IV, even at 1.0 lightspeed. Alderaan had been the initial target all along, as Obi-Wan with the high ground was the primary threat to the Death Star. How? Because a moon-sized space station would have some form of gravitational pull, thereby negating Obi-Wan's zero-gravity weakness; Obi-Wan with the perpetual high-ground in a low-orbit starfighter would easily be able to fire proton torpedoes through a ventilation shaft, although the Empire was uncertain of the specific weakness of the Death Star planted by Galen Erso (who was a good friend).
        
        In Return of the Jedi, you can see that the Throne Room contains a variety of different altitudes; Palpatine placed these there to ensure Vader's defeat. However, Sheev failed to realize that his weakness was no ground, and should have covered that useless gaping pit which does nothing.
        
        A common misconception is the idea of a 'prostrate position' version of the high ground, wherein Obi-Wan lies flat on his back, giving him tactical superiority from his point of view. However, this strategy is futile, as for the high ground to come into effect, there must be a differential between parties on both the x-axis and y-axis to a moderately significant variation from both absolutes (Angles only a Sith would deal in). For Obi-Wan's high ground powers to be in full effect, he must stand between 15 and 75 degrees (π/12 to 5π/12 radians) diagonal from his opponent(s) on any quadrant of the area circle; this has been dubbed the Trigonometric Perspective Diagram. (Diagram B). The total effect for conventional high ground advantage can be calculated via the MetaComm Equation, or f(x) = lim 0→x π/12 | 7π/12 5π/12 | 11π/12 Ʃ(x) (2tan(x) / 3sin(x) + (log10Δ)) * cΦ
        
        Δ = distance on hypotenuse (meters)
        
        Φ = Surrounding Force [c (variable) * β (Earth Gravity) * (pressure (psi)/2.2)]
        
        'x' refers to the angle of contact between the two parties on, with advantage being based purely on position on the Y-axis, as the vast majority of force users base their perception on elevation rather than spacial relativity.
        
        The power of gravitational force has great effect on the high ground; too weak, and the high ground holds no traction; too strong and the ground becomes the real enemy. Experimentation has proven that the high ground typically holds significant value between .8 and 1.4 β (Earth Gravities) with maximum impact standing roughly equal to 1.05.
        
        Pressure is equally important, as it is a surrounding force attached to gravity (the high ground has famously low impact in aquatic environments). Pressure(λ) is measured in pounds per square inch (psi), to be used as a gravity multiplier (or division if pressure is sub-atmospheric; Φ (Surrounding Force) is a variable defined as β * 2.2λ , with no metric value assigned due to its singular application.
        
        In situations regarding Obi-Wan and his relativistic point of view, you must substitute the Quadrilateral MetaComm Equation (the Jedi Master function), f(x) = lim 0→x minmaxƩ (2tan(x) / 3sin(x) ) * (1.2)cΦ [min = (|cos(x)| = 1) | (|sin(x)| = 1) + π/12 ), max = (|cos(x)| = 1) | (|sin(x)| = 1) + 5π/12 ].
        
        The viable Φ field is expanded, as Obi-Wan has taken advantage of the high ground in so many different environments that he simply uses it more efficiently, and the min/max values apply due to his multidimensional point of view, evidenced by the Trigonometric Perspective Diagram. Additionally, the distance factor does not affect Obi-Wan, as spacetime can be perseptively compressed, giving him the ideal Δ value from his point of reference.
        
        In conclusion, Obi-Wan abuses spatial relativity and Taoist doctrine in order to always invoke his high-ground powers. To properly analyze the strategic genius of Kenobi, one must hold advanced knowledge in Philosophy, Mathematics, and Calculus-based Physics, and be able to integrate these topics together.
        
        Also, fuck MetaComm
        

        Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano?

          Infamous Ahsoka Tano copypasta
          “And she was a good friend” 😔👆
          Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.
          
          Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.
          
          We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.

          Check out every Star Wars copypasta!

          Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

            "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere." meme
            Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
            
            "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
            
            Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
            
            "Got a spare?" she asks.
            
            "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
            
            "Conversation with me, duh."
            
            I laugh.
            
            "What's so funny?" she protests.
            
            "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
            
            "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
            
            "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
            
            "Teaching, I think."
            
            "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
            
            "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
            
            "Bermuda," I say.
            
            "Oh wow. That's lovely."
            
            "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
            
            "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
            
            "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

            The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment

              The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different heroes.
              
              As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the Open Beta and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average per-player credit earn rates on a daily basis, and we'll be making constant adjustments to ensure that players have challenges that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay.
              
              We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets.
              
              Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can.

              History of the most downvoted comment on Reddit

              The copypasta was from a response by the EA Community Team on Reddit towards another person’s post on the aggressive monetization in Star Wars: Battlefront. During that time, the game was one of the most hyped entries of the year as it was a new IP set in the Star Wars universe and developed by DICE the developers behind the Battlefield series. However, many players were left angry and disappointed when iconic character such as Darth Vader are gated behind expensive paywalls or extremely grindy progression system.

              Hence someone made a post criticizing EA which lead to the “sense of pride and accomplishment” response and the drama ensued.