So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions “Dolphin Pussy Jelly.” Scientists were like “holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science.” So the scientists collected a sample of said Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate’s dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to like in a world where this is a commercial product. I want I to say “you know what, I want to die and I know what to do about it.” I want to live in a world where I can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of “Smucker’s Dolphin Pussy Jelly,” and just fucking cum myself to death.
