Have you ever had sex? No? Well, theres no need to be ashamed. Because there is no such thing as sex as it is impossible. You see, girls actually don't have vaginas. They just pretend they do so they can promise us something of great pleasure when they can't and won't even give it.
"Oh but what about porn where people have sex?" you say? Well, its just carefully edited cgi as such activities are impossible with the human body. And your friends? They are just lying to look cool. Oh but where do babies come from? Space. No, hear me out. When an asteroid crashed into the earth millions of years ago, ending the dinosaur age, we, as illegal aliens landed on earth. The viruses we brough killed off all our predators and enabled us to live the perfect life. And when we proved we were living a stable life in the form of a "family" we were sent a baby from out home world as a gift.
I know its very hard to take in. But how else would you explain us not being able to have sex for this long? If it really did exist we should have been able to do it by now.
Sex doesn't actually exist. That's right: I'm a sex denier. I mean, you guys don't actually think sex is real right? I mean come on now, that shit only exists on pornhub. You might be asking: then how are babies made? Well, it's pretty simple: the father gives a DNA sample to a doctor. The doctor then makes a human baby seed out of that DNA. The mother swallows that seed which grows into a baby over the course of 9 months. See, there you go. Sex is entirely fictional. Still don't believe me? Then how about this: if sex is actually real, then why haven't I had it yet? Explain that. I'd like to see you try.
today I had very hot sex(not gay)(with a woman) and it was pretty fun I fucked her pussy(because she is a woman) and she said she enjoyed it a lot(with a female voice because she is a female). Anyways losing your virginity(to a woman) is very exciting and I hope to do it again(with a woman).
Gay version
today I had very hot sex(very gay)(with a man) and it was pretty fun I fucked his ass(because he is a man) and he said he enjoyed it a lot(with a male voice because he is a male). Anyways losing your virginity(to a man) is very exciting and I hope to do it again(with a man).
Furry version
today I had very hot sex(not furry)(with a human) and it was pretty fun I fucked her ear(because she is human) and she said she bled a lot(with a human voice because its a human). Anyways losing your virginity(to a human) is very exciting and I hope to do it again(with a human).
Is it normal to be attracted to a color? I'm potentially bi, asexual, autosexual or straight. I'm also sexually attracted to the color white, whenever I see a young person (aged 15~29, regardless of gender) wearing white clothes and not too ugly I feel slightly aroused, and I sometimes masturbate to myself wearing white. (I'm sexually attracted to myself, in picture, in mirror or in person if I'm wearing white clothes) Also I masturbate to soccer matches, and whenever the white team scores, barely misses or concedes a goal I get quite aroused. I feel NO attraction to white objects like pieces of paper or walls though, but I DO feel a weak attraction to white clothes especially T shirts and shorts even when no one is wearing them. Also, I might become sexually attracted to other people, male or female, if they're wearing other colors of clothes but white is a multiplier that multiplies my attraction to them by anywhere from 2 to 10. Is it a legit sexuality, a part of my sexuality, ir an abnormality?
It's not fair. So many sexy girls. But can't fuck any. It should be considered torture to have so many sexy girls in short proximity and not being able to fuck a single one.
To fix this sexual frustration, university should hire prostitutes from within. Like think about it this way. The girl will get money from sex work, and the student's wellbeing will be better.
All students have to pay a wellbeing fee or some crap like that, but I don't give a fuck about doing anything in uni apart from getting my diploma and fucking girls. With the wellbeing money, the uni should hire prostitutes from within. Like offer girls out of high school a scholarship and a lower entry requirement in exchange for sex work.
Or better offer girls from poor country money and tuition in exchange for sex work. The students will get the exotic girls, and the girl will get education. Or even offer gilrs from richer asian country money and tuition in exchange for sex work. Fair for everyone.
I wish uni had free sex worker. Instead of other useless benefits like sports or crap like that.
I went to the supermarket earlier today, to buy some cheese and bacon, you know? So I went up to the girl working there and she said: "Good morning, how can I help you?"
I couldn't believe this naughty bitch was offering herself to me at 7 am, but I managed to keep myself calm and said: "Good morning. I want 300g of mozzarella cheese and 300g of bacon please."
She started working on my order, and after a while she came to me and said "Sir, I acidentally put 350g of cheese instead of 300g. Can I leave it or do you want me to take some off?"
Holy fucking shit. I couldn't believe what this cum-addicted slut just said. She knew I only wanted 300g of cheese, but instead of giving me what I asked for she decided to try to have sex with me. I'm gonna explain it to you: what's the difference between 300g and 350g of cheese? That's right, 50 grams. What else has 50 grams? Yes, that's the average weight of a condom packaging, and also the average amount of sperm expelled during a sexual act. And worst of all, do you know which sentence has 50 letters? "Oh daddy please destroy my pussy and cum in my little slut ass".
I was shocked at the audacity of this whore, but I was better than this. I told her to take a little bit of cheese off, and she said: "is 308g alright sir?" I was shaking and sharting at this point. I couldn't believe she was humiliating herself like this. Do you know what has 8 letters? "I love you". But I didn't love her, I didn't love this attention deprived thot back. So I just said: "I'm not going to give in to your schemes. You should value yourself more, you are better than this".
As I was paying for my products at the cashier I could hear a great commotion, and I saw that the girl and all the other female employees were crying in unison. I left the supermarket knowing that I did the right thing.
Greetings and salutations,
Despite my lack of experience, I am incredibly horny (some may say a sexual deviant). Every day I have vivid lucid dreams of doggystyle, pussy eating, edging, pegging, ruined orgasms, blindfolded blowjobs, nipple play, facials, squirting, and much much more. To quote the late great Martin Luther King Jr, "I have a dream" and that dream is to finally lose my coveted virginity. There isn't much to know about me, I am a fairly simple man. Apart from reading the works of Dostoevsky and Tolstoy, I am infatuated with the pussy. The pussy is all that I can think of. To me pussy is much more than the female anatomy, it's a religious doctrine. The Mohammedan or Jesuit may pray to their holy Gods but I worship the pussy. Some may say there is such a life without which you desire, my rebuttal is as follows, what life? What life is there on this God-forsaken planet without indulging in the delicacy of pussy? What life must a man live without consuming the art of lust? It is a cardinal sin for thou to suppress its animalistic urges. For what will it take for me to get pussy? Siddhārtha Gautama sat under the bodhi tree for 49 days for him to become the Buddha, will my deprivation of pussy be responsible for my ascension to enlightenment? I hath become a mad man. The wonders of modern medicine can't save me but the flesh of a woman will. My face is buried in my palms. Tears wept as I am subjugated to the horrors of humanity. My hunger for the joyous pussy is immeasurable. I need to be fed. Please take me out of my misery.
