sex

How exactly does one get p**sy while living at the white house as a teenage boy?

How exactly does one get pussy while living at the white house as a teenage boy? The secret service always cock blocking you. when you're trying to run game on some foreign prime ministers daughter the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows shit out if proportion speculating that you are somehow breaking international law with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before congress that you didn't give away any top secret documents to her and are made to admit live on C-SPAN that you've never even kissed a girl . Then you get blue balls from some hot conservative girl winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were going through some airport or public event, and when you passed by and shook her hand she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your dick off, just to fuck with you. Then you try to look up some porn when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the CIA is monitoring and 3 other govornment agencies are watching you beat off. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the shower which sets off some fucking biohazard drain alarm and the entire place is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint chiefs of staff about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a national security issue with your dick. Then wikileaks leaks your search history showing you looked up penis enlargement techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and TYT spends all next week talking about your supposed micro penis. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a fucking mental patient and you start to think you'll never get any pussy.

Kanye West’s pussy.

Kanye West with a pussy would be breathtaking. It would be so pink and he would make sure to wax every once in a while. His lips would be so silky. To see his clit, you’d have to spread his lips because they are also chubby. His walls are fluffy and it would be so easy for him to squirt.

1 inch buddy

Actually, I have my little 1 inch buddy over here. She's adorable. (I call my cock a she) You know, what I lack in inches, I make up for in width. My cock is fucking 2 feet wide, 1 inch long. Reminds me of my old cow betsy. Now that I think about it, I don't think Betsy was a cow, in fact, I think Betsy was a guy. Huh. Now I know I wasn't milking some udders, this changes everything. Guess I'm gay now. Fuck. Alright, back to jerking the old ween. I bet this relates to politics in some way. I don't know how, but I bet it does. You know, speaking of politics. I don't really like talking about it, but here I go talking about my political views. I personally believe that taxes should be raised for our government. Fuck you libtard. Suck my 1 inch cock.

I also stray from any videos that depict someone elses dick because watching someone else fuck a female porn actress is inherently not heterosexual.

I also stray from any videos that depict someone elses dick because watching someone else fuck a female porn actress is inherently not heterosexual, SPH is cucked. In general some of the porn video types are just bad.

I think the most degenerate video I saw on PH was a japanese high school foot gang starring 1 female dominated by 5 of her collegues. The setting is somewhat convincing as for how the janitor room looked like. And the expressions where convincing enough to make me question whether she wasn't actually forced by her collegues.

TIFU by going a little too hard during sex

Ok so some info before we get started

(M)e: Penis size- 6.9 inches (sex number (nice)) Looks- 9 Wit and Charm: 10 IQ: 140

G(F) Age- 18 Looks- 10 (Fat ass too) Wit and Charm: 3 IQ: 135 (thankfully lower and within 5 of mine)

So one day I woke up with a throbbing erection and I grabbed my hot GF and told her I wanted to have sex very sexily with her. She said ohhh baby I want to have lots of sexy sex with you because I am in a sexy mood, but I have a bit of a headache. I said I don’t care and shoved my sexy sword right into her sex sheathe and there was lots of sweaty sex and stuff and she had a baby too.

Once we finished sexy time I told her to go make me some food. She finished and made me some really good food and I told her it was time for round 2. I lasted about 15 minutes, but she was already sexily orgasming within 10 seconds, because I’m just so good at sex with crazy libido.

TL;DR: Sex

Doofenshmirtz Inc theme plays:

"Ahhh Perry the platypus, I see you have fallen right into my trap!" Perry gets tied up on a wall, and leather wraps around his body tighter than an a boa constricter. Doofenshmirtz walks over slowly, his cock pressed hard against his pants. "Perry, my plan this time, is too punish you for foiling all my other plans." Perry shivers and shakes as Doofenshmirtz pulls out a bullwhip and walks up to Perry. "Get ready, Perry. It's time for you to become a true secret agent...man..." Doofenshmirtz hits him with the whip. Perry moans and his teeth chatter. Doofenshmirtz cums immediately, Perry notices and starts to jerk off his little Playpus dick.