Ok, it's about sometime someone said it. And of course it's gonna be me. On Jesus' birthday no less. In the name of Santa (Time Allen)'s sacrifice.
The gayest thing a man can do is have sex with a vagina. THINK ABOUT IT. Vaginas are MADE to take dick. They are essentially an evolutionary dick pocket. Do you know how gay that sounds? Literally Charlie Darwin wrote in his journal about how vaginas were evolving to get better at taking dick.
This was in between him writing about dumbass birds, and harassing island lizards and shit. Fucking nerd-ass. However, it is a commercial Christian holiday, so I won't talk anymore about evolution out of respect to the creationists that are totally reading this right now.
I digress, there is NOTHING more gay than being inside a woman's vagina. Made for dicks, AND there may have been dicks in there before. Ummmm, hello? It's basically a CARFAX for dicks. What's more lady-like THEN BEING INSIDE A WOMAN. Think about it, moron. You are next to her eggs and emotions when you are up in there, which is extremely feminine. You could even potentially absorb estrogen through your penis, and that will lower your net worth. Extremely feminine, gay, and also counter-productive.
It is gay to have sex with vaginas.
Now the straightest thing you can do is call up one of your closest bros/business partners. Meet in a location that is isolated, preferably outdoors for reasons soon to be made clear. Strip down naked except for your socks, face each other, and start slapping your cocks together. There is a myth that if the balls touch its gay. This has been disproven by A.S.S. (association of sigma-male scientists).
Actually, your balls slapping together falls under the laws of thermodynamics, and your masculine energy is cycled between your bodies, your balls being the connector.
This increases your masculine hustle, and also forms a stronger bond with your now brother. Do it outdoors to establish dominance in nature. Also, hold eye contact, whoever breaks first is now below in male rank to the other, but there is still mutual respect. I mean, you just got naked in a field and slapped your junk together, you better hope to respect each other.
Socks stay on, it anchors your masculine energy. This is what super straight people do. The gays? Inside vaginas. Don't believe what the liberal media tells you on CNN. Stay away from evolutionary cock-pockets. Embrace the Dong Cycle.
Thanks for dying for our sins, Santa. This one's for you. Seasons greetings!
I want to pin you against a wall and start slowly makeing out with you as my hands go down your body, I starts rubbing against your dick untill it's hard and then I'll put my hand in your pants and just start slowly jerking you off untill your struggling to kiss back and then I'll take your pants off and slowly move down and put it in my mouth and go as deep as I can and I'll get it all slobbery and we and then I'll push you on the bed and take my top of and my pants and get ontop and just slowly start ridding you, and then I'll speed up and just watch you looking at my tits bouncing up and down untill I here you grunting and breathing heavy.........
Sexual intercourse. That's the answer for all of these. Every single one of you that uh "oh if you had 24 hours with me what would you.." Sexual intercourse. Every single time. We don't need to do any more. All done. You're so hot. Hubba hubba. Wanna have sex. That's it. No more. The dude that's like "Oh if I brought you Domino's and I worked at Domino's what would you do?" I'd take the pizza and I'd have sex with you. Cause you're so attractive. The girl "If I worked at Starbucks and I gave you your drink that you paid for but I looked at you, what would you do?" Intercourse. I would take you to the back and have intercourse, because I can't resist you. Okay? We're all done. There's no more. What more do we n- I need to fucking delete this app dude.
I’m from America and I’m really proud of our pornography. I’ve tried to get into porn from other countries and it just isn’t the same quality. Some worse than others, but American porn is just amazing in technical quality, overall cinematography and general attractiveness and cleanliness of the talent.
God i fantasize about her every night. I want her to sit on me, suffocating me until I can barely breathe, and just before I die from asphyxiation, she hands me a plastic straw from Chuck E. Cheese, from which i put my mouth on and try to breathe from. However, that straw is in her vaginal hole, and as for every atom of oxygen i intake, a liter of her pussy juices pour into my mouth. As I shove my way from under her soul crushing thighs, I gasp for the air I so desperately need. She stares down at me with a smug look, saying "Are you tired? We've only just started". She pounds my face in with her dirty, worn out foot, which she violently presses into my submissive face. I take a hard lick of each individual toe, sucking out all the dirt collected from god knows where. After both of her feet are licked spotless, she holds me down, and crushes my neck with her immensely muscular thighs. I struggle to breath, and I even achieve a point of utter hallucination. As I begin to realize I am horridly close from perishing from asphyxiation, my penis explodes with semen, as if a volcano erupting, yet instead of lava hot, sticky cum poured from my worn out penis. I gave her a 50$ bill, and she smiles and says "Same time next week?".
As an expert cock rater, I can say that your cock without a doubt, is one of the most fascinating I have ever seen. Now as you're black, and am racist, I would be extremely biased and give you a horrid rating. But with the intensity of the magnitude of your phallus, I have thrown out every single bit of bias I had for membrane assessments. Not only is the size phenomenal, but the color ratio is also absolutely perfect.
