Bro, did you see johnqt this series? Man's not just an IGL, he's a walking aimbot with 'Quality Tactics' embedded in his DNA. This man doesn’t just play Valorant; he turns it into a first-person strategy seminar. His 'Quality Tactics' are so next level, Fnatic players were Googling 'how to counter johnqt' mid-match. He’s out here fragging harder than your WiFi drops during a ranked game, and I’m pretty sure he’s the reason Boaster started writing motivational speeches. I swear, he’s so good, even the enemy team's fans start cheering for him halfway through the match. The 'qt' in johnqt doesn't just stand for 'cutie', it stands for 'Quit Trying' because that’s what his opponents end up doing. Man’s so cracked, even the spike defuses itself out of respect. What an absolute legend.
Now, I’ve always been a dog lover ever since I was young. I adored those animals so much that I started volunteering at the local animal shelter. Working at the shelter and helping those poor souls with nowhere to go brought me daily fulfillment and happiness. There was one group of dogs that I grew especially fond over as they were just the most majestic looking beasts ever. They used to be prized hunting hounds for some rich British family, winning a couple hunting competitions back in their prime. But, as they grew old and frail, they were abandoned by the pricks. I decided to name them Boaster, Derke, Alfa, Chronicle and Leo.
Now call me sentimental but I became really attached to these dogs, feeding them and playing with them everyday. Hence when Leo passed away due to being too sick, I cried and became depressed. I stopped eating and drank heavily, spiraling my life downwards. However, a new stray canine joined the shelter, filling the void in my broken heart, essentially saving my life. I named him “Hiro” for being a hero that led me to salvation.
One day, I came into the shelter, excited as usual to see my dear dogs. However, they were nowhere to be seen. I asked a fellow volunteer where they were. He replied “FNATIC”. With a sinking stomach, I broke down completely and fell to my knees. I knew my dogs have been put down.
Posted after SEN 2-0 loss to GenG in Valorant Champions 2024. Instantly became a copypasta due to a running joke that SEN has the most fans (glazers) in Valorant competitive.
ive honestly never been this happy in a long time like im still smiling like 5 hours later. I hate SEN with every fiber of my being and it felt like ecstasy hit me like a bullet in between my sparkling ass eyeballs watching them get 2-0'd. they dont play real valorant, that gameplay is not real valorant like it has no class, and yet they get all the fans that are annoying and happy and i tried to be the bigger person and keep this all in but i cant bro im so happy rn.
i genuinely love you guys on GenG shoutout the goat meteor btw you deserve everything good that'll happen in your life i promise you bro your family raised you right. shoutout munchkin for the goated calling, shoutout t3xture for keeping it real, shoutout lakia for that sova ascent clutch that shit was beautiful, real lakia of valorant stuff, and shoutout karon for being picked from ranked because i fw that bro i love ranked u guys are geniuses up there i swear. I love this team so much man. i love u geng so much im geng for life now
Additional info for our play against [team]
[player a] got fever
[player a] left mousepad
[player b] lost whole gears
[player c] sound issue in the match(no foot step at all)
[player c] keyboard bug
We were in chaos
Sentinels version
SEN Shahzam: Additional info on play against BBG (best team in the world)
Zombs got fever
Zombs left mousepad
Dapr lost whole gears
TenZ sound issues in the match (no foot step at all)
TenZ keyboard bug
We were in chaos.
That's it. That seals the deal. I am no longer a Sentinels fan. This team is a pure and utter embarrassment. I officially will not be renewing my Tier 3 Tenz Twitch sub nor my Tier 3 Shahzam sub. I'm going to the 100 thieves where they know how to run a team.
I am Douglas Apr's father, and I raised him right and taught him manners and how to be a man. I did not teach him to teab*g. After three straight incidents of his behavior recently, I have disowned him. He is no longer a son of mine. I must urge a boycott of Sentinels. Come home my boy.
