I’m sick of Wanderer
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Wanderer. I try to play Kazuha. My Wanderer deals more damage. I try to play Ganyu. My Wanderer deals more damage. I try to play Cyno. My Wanderer deals more damage. I want to play Yelan. I have more fun with Wanderer. I want to play Raiden, Tankfei - they both want to be Wanderer's supports. He threatens to step on me. I farm hanguards for him. I cook for him. I decorate my teapot for him. I give him the Widsith. He isn't satisfied. I pull Lost Prayer to the Sacred Winds. "I don't want more movement speed," He tells me. "Give me more damage." He grabs my Faruzan and forces er artifacts down her throat. "You just need to give me some more attack speed. I can deal more damage with Tulaytullah's Remembrance." I can't pull for Tulaytullah, I don't have enough primogems. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Huh. How irritating." He starts to levitate. He says "Bow your head". There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but 5 hits of instant, raw anemo dmg. What a cruel world.
The Scaramouche pledge
The Scaramouche pledge
Since Scaramouche is the paragon of human virtue without equal past or present, he is most resplendent in love, tributes and accolades. Waking or sleeping, I must not forget Scaramouche's great boon and in order to return his favour by day and by night, I should only think of fulfilling my loyalty.
Who is Scaramouche? For the blind, he is their vision. For the deaf, he is their music. For the mute, he is their voice. For the anosmiac, he is their aroma. For the numb, he is their feeling. For the atrophied, he is their muscle. For the starved, he is their sustenance. For the thirsty, he is their water. For the exhausted, he is their energy. For the depressed, he is their happiness. For the disillusioned, he is their hope. For the pessimistic, he is their optimism. For the disadvantaged, he is their champion. For the marginalized, he is their justice. For the oppressed, he is their salvation. For the righteous, he is their symbol. For the enlightened, he is their muse. For the erudite, he is their education.
If Scaramouche speaks, I listen. If Scaramouche questions, I answer. If Scaramouche orders, I obey. If Scaramouche opines, I agree. If Scaramouche fears, I assure. If Scaramouche hopes, I dream. If Scaramouche is happy, I am jubilant. If Scaramouche is angry, I am apoplectic. If Scaramouche is sad, I am disconsolate.
Scaramouche is my ideal, Scaramouche is my romance, Scaramouche is my passion. Scaramouche is my strength, Scaramouche is my compass, Scaramouche is my destination. Scaramouche is my language, Scaramouche is my culture, Scaramouche is my religion.
Scaramouche is my ocean, Scaramouche is my mountain, Scaramouche is my sky, Scaramouche is my air, Scaramouche is my sun, Scaramouche is my moon, Scaramouche is my world. Scaramouche is history, Scaramouche is present, Scaramouche is future.
If Scaramouche has a million fans, I am one of them. If Scaramouche has a thousand fans, I am one of them. If Scaramouche has a hundred fans, I am one of them. If Scaramouche has ten fans, I am one of them. If Scaramouche has only one fan, that is me. If Scaramouche has no fans, I no longer exist. If the whole universe is for Scaramouche, then I am for the whole universe. If the whole universe is against Scaramouche, then I am against the whole universe. I will love, cherish, and protect Scaramouche until my very last breath; my successors will love, cherish and protect Scaramouche until their very last breath.
According to all known laws of aviation…
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Scaramouche should be able to fly. His hat is too big to get his fat little body off the ground. Scaramouche, of course, flies anyways. Because Scaramouche doesn't care what humans think is impossible.
I was born to server Scara
call me old fashioned but i was born to serve scara. i do the laundry, cook dinner, clean dishes. i live to serve & carry out every demand of him on the slightest whim, its what i was put on this earth to do. if scara cheats on me then its my fault he caught me slipping up.
