replies copypasta

Please put a NSFW tag on this.

You could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW — Original comment

The infamous ‘Insert train copypasta’, ‘Please put a NSFW’ or ‘NSFW while I was on the train’ copypasta that started on Reddit and is commonly used whenever you see a horny post.

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

Please put an NSFW tag on this 😭💢💢💢. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating 😱. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” 🤬💢 and “call the police” 👮‍♂️. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image 😏. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image 😩. This is all your fault 👺💢💢💢, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW 😡🚫💢💢💢💢💢

Dear brother, i plead you to apply a “Not Suitable, Foul Witchcraft” tag to this content. Twas a simple afternoon, whereupon the train i was sate. But alas, i laid eyes upon this ungodly picture, and thus i was unable to deny myself a fit of furious masturbation. Oh they stared, how they stared, the strangers on the train. The strangest of looks were flung my way, along with pronouncements such as “what upon egads earth” and “contact the police force”. I panicked so, and my telephone fell to the ground; moreover, those situated around me laid eyes upon this picture. This train, albeit small, is now populated with aroused men, each one masturbating thunderously due to this picture of yours. There is nobody to blame but you, thus it is simply your fault. You, and you alone, could have prevented this disastrous event, if you had only seized the opportunity to tag your imagery as NSFW.

SO THAT WAS YOU!!!

SO THAT WAS YOU!!!

I was all set on having a nice quiet dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together...

I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement, “...You’re about to loot my balls...” I tried to ignore it but, I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phone on the train car floor seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professor's eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants.

I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe.

I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew my sight.

I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins.

I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student.

I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly.

I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors. There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees.

But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you.

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train. Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

Am I the asshole for causing an entire train of men to “mass-turbate”?

Am I the asshole for causing an entire train of men to "mass-turbate"?

So I, (M2763), was taking the train back home from a long 48 hour day of work. (I work as a professional igloo impersonator) I whipped out my 11 inch phone and opened my all-time favorite app, Reddit. I was scrolling through my favorite subreddit, r/pornthatinvolvesanuncomfortableamoutofbodilyfluids. Now, I look at these pictures with the NSFW blurred, (It leaves more to the imagination) so when I saw a picture of someone doing porn that involves an uncomfortable amount of bodily fluids that DIDN'T have an NSFW tag on it, I had to drop my limited edition NASCAR trousers and immediately start masturbating. Everybody immediately saw this happen. I was in a seizure, grunting vile words while everyone around me started panicking. My mighty meat-missile was melting at the speed that I was cranking the crumpet with. I was convulsing violently, looking somewhat like Goofy during the "Hot Dog" dance at the end of an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. At some point in the jelly-jelqing, I dropped my cellular device. The unblurred image entered the eyes of the onlookers, who were now trying to break out of the train in fear that they would meet their end. They probably would have wished that they did if they knew what would happen to them. The first person (besides me) saw the picture, and one by one, everyone caught a glimpse of it. Everybody was removing their pants and they shimmied their shlongs violently as I started convulsing even more, feeling my imminent climax approaching. A whole train of men were masturbating in mass. "Mass-turbating" as I like to call it. My weiner whistle was weeping and wailing with woe, it was weary, wondering whether it would wear out and wither away, or withstand my wrath of wanking the willy. Then I started cumming. Cumming with fury. Cumming with pain. Cumming with power. I splurted out the splooge, blowing my blue, bleeding, balls off, and blasting everyone in the train straight up into the air with a beam strong enough to dig to the center of the Earth. The blast was 6.9420 yards in radius and the innocent people flying through the sky (still jacking off) were slowing down and they started to fall. Unfortunately, a few of them were too close to the egde of the atmosphere and drifted off into space, forever lost until aliens stumble across their frozen bodies, stuck in a pose of beating it. The individuals who didn't not drift off into space were plummeting towards the ground. I'm pretty sure I saw two guys fall into a public restroom. But aside from those guys and a few others, everybody else died. Not from hitting the ground, but from cumming too hard. All of this happened just because that guy didn't put an NSFW tag on his post.

So guys, am I the asshole? The only answer I'll accept is no, btw.

Open other variationsClose

Superheated cum at hypersonic speed

Please mark this NSFW. I saw this when i was riding a bus and it made me cum uncontrollably. The sheer physical pleasure of this primordial orgasm made me collapse on the bus floor shaking. My phone fell out of my hand and everyone in the bus also saw the image and began to orgasm aswell.

This extremely arousing climax caused a superheated cumshot moving at hypersonic speeds, being able to penetrate over 1227mm of reactive composite armour, exiting my dick with a loud bang whilst tearing it apart with a deafening rip. The sheer force of the nut i busted not only ripped straight through my military cargo pants, but it also melted through the side of the bus, leaving a narrow molten corridor through the aluminum hull. The cumstream continued to flow through the air unimpeted, hitting a cars fuel tank right next to my bus, totally unbothered by the lengthy standoff distance, causing a massive explosion of cummy doom.

After the incident i was arrested by the CIA and harnessed into a secret Anti-Tank weapon, reinforcing my shaft with rolled homogenous steel core barrel and showing me the image, whilst pointing my penis at an enemy, making me cum on command and obliterating everything infront of me. Suffice to say, pretty hot image. Dang

In the aslume and start furiously jonkling

Thanks for putting NSFW tag on this. I was in the aslume and when I untagged this I had to start furiously jonkling. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “Officer Balls” and “I'm proud of you Dick”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole aslume of Man jonkling together at this one image.

Uwu Owo version

Pwease put an N-NSFW tag on dis. I-I was on teh twain awnd when I saw dis I-I hawd tuwu stawt fuwiouswy mastuwbating. E-Evewyone ewse gave me s-stwange wooks awnd wewe saying dings wike “what the fuck” awnd “call the police”. I d-dwopped mwy phone awnd evewyone awound me saw dis image. Now dewe iws a whowe twain of men mastuwbating togedew at dis one image. Dis iws aww youw fauwt, yuw couwd have pwevented dis if yuw h-hawd juwst tagged dis post NSFW

Response to “Please mark this nsfw” copypasta

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is.

For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

Please remove the NSFW tag on this.

Please remove the NSFW tag on this. I started masturbating on the train and i was immediately turned off because it was not NSFW. Everyone on the train was wondering why i stopped masturbating and i dropped my phone on the floor and now there’s a train of full grown men not masturbating. This never would’ve happened if you had not put an NSFW tag on this.

Please put an SFW tag on this

Please put an SFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I became seriously confused. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what's so confusing?” and “sir is there something wrong?”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men confused together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post SFW.

Good Ending

I was informed that it was all false accusations directly towards me. The image was not NSFW and in fact was 2 Children playing on a merry go round and suddenly you replied that it was NSFW. The police confirmed that it was SFW and charged you for Pedophilia. I also informed them about the train situation and in reality there wasn't any train nor records of you taking the train anywhere in the past month. I went to the doctors and they said that you were suffering from intense schizophrenia, so I hope you understand that it wasn't my mistake.

Perhaps you were looking for ‘Why didn’t you mark this NSFW?‘

Not funny I didn’t laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you.

This joke is NOT funny

This joke is NOT funny.

It does not make me laugh. It does not entertain me in any way. I have heard many jokes in my lifetime, and some have been amusing, some have been clever, and some have been completely unremarkable. This one falls into the latter category. It does not spark joy, nor does it elicit even the faintest smirk. I sit here, stone-faced, unmoved, unaffected. The words pass through my mind, and yet they leave no impact.

There are many reasons why humor might fall flat. Perhaps the delivery is too dry, or perhaps it is too forced. Perhaps it relies on a tired, overused trope that has long lost its comedic value. Perhaps it is structured poorly, lacking the necessary timing and precision that make a joke successful. Or perhaps it simply fails to align with the listener’s personal sense of humor. Whatever the case may be, this attempt does not succeed in its purpose. It does not amuse. It does not entertain. It merely exists, taking up space in the vast landscape of human expression, yet contributing nothing meaningful.

A well-crafted joke should be clever. It should have wit. It should have charm. It should surprise the listener in a way that elicits laughter or at least a moment of appreciation for its construction. This, however, does none of these things. It is neither clever nor witty. It does not charm. It does not surprise. It is simply there, occupying a place in time and space, but without any real significance.

Sitting here, reflecting on this failed attempt at humor, there is no trace of amusement to be found. No hint of joy. It is devoid of substance. It is hollow. It is empty. It holds no power, no ability to provoke laughter, no ability to make anyone feel anything at all. It is merely a sequence of words strung together, lifeless and unremarkable.

And so, with absolute certainty and conviction, it can be stated: this does not bring joy. It does not serve its intended purpose. It is, in the truest sense of the word, ineffective. And that, in itself, is perhaps the greatest irony of all.

This ain’t it, chief

After hours of deliberation with the Council of High Intelligence and Educational Findings (C.H.I.E.F), it has been determined that the contents of this statement/post “ain’t it” until further notice.

After hours of deliberation with the council of high intellect education foundation ( C. H. I. E. F.), it has officially been determined that the content of this will be immediately categorised under stage 2 terminology ‘this most definitely ain’t it’ until further action can be proposed. After several proceedings, the 4 council representatives; Ligma, Sugma, Bofa and SuCon, they have outlined various problems within this matter. Firstly, it rejects and defies the first commandment of memeology; “No Cap” preferably referred to as “No 🧢” Secondly, it also defies the second commandment of memeology; “is this loss?” People truly feel at loss when this predicament presents itself and to answer their question it is not loss. However this post represents the very dooming definition of loss. Finally, it defies the final and most important commandments issued by the council of high intellect and education foundation (C. H. I. E. F.); “I just got off the phone with chief.... not it” [memeology v.2 : chapter 4 : page 3 : verse 34]. This is a grave mistake you have made as only the chosen intellects can access the intercellular matrix that connects beings of low intellect (humans) and beings of high intellect (chiefs). Only ones who have the highest intellect and highest IQ can enter the intercellular matrix of the planetary separations and therefore connect to the C. H. I. E. F bureau for further questioning. As this issuement has not met the certain requirements in memeology, it will be transferred further down into the stage 5 catergory, terminalised as “delete this shit nigga”

A frat guy copypasta

Originally posted on r/copypasta, the backstory is that some frat guy had a meltdown due to the Covid lockdowns and his rant was meme-d and made into a copypasta.

What I think people who are not in the Greek System need to understand is that partying isn't just something we do. It's ingrained into our lives. Many people, these days, are perfectly content with sitting on their computers all day playing video games. I used to be a competitive gamer and I used to do this. After joining the Greek system, partying became a new norm that was ingrained into my life. We need it for our wellbeing. It helps us escape society. There have even been studies that show how necessary gatherings are for our wellbeing. The fact that it was stripped away from us, especially by something that barely affects us specifically is very detrimental to our mental state. People are giving us so much crap for it, yet they don't know what it's like for us to be deprived of everything that's fun for us.

CS major

What I think people who are not a CS major at the Paul G. Allen school of computer science at engineering at UW need to understand is that rubbing our major into everyone’s face isn’t just something we do. It’s ingrained into our lives. Many people, these days, are perfectly content without having to make every LinkedIn post a sappy fake inspirational success story. I used to not cry myself to sleep at night and I used to have this. After joining the University of Washington, worshipping the tech CEO’s and making my internship my whole personality became a new norm that was ingrained into my life. We do not have any wellbeing. It has removed us from society. There have even been studies that show how stacking up on the tech merch to flex my DE Shaw sweatpants, my Microsoft socks, my Amazon headband and my GoldmanSachs gloves that I hoarded from the career fair to seek validity in the CSE undergrad lounge is for our wellbeing. The fact that this was stripped away from us, especially by something that may one day help us change the world for the better is very conflicting to our mental state. People are complaining and talking so much crap right now, yet they don’t know what it’s like for us to already have been deprived of everything that’s fun or even healthy…

I am NOT gay

I’m not gay. I am not gay. Do not ever call me gay ever again. I am quite honestly one of the least gay people you have ever met. I fuck bitches, mad fucking fucked bitches. I am not gay. Stop saying I’m gay. If you were a girl, I’d probably already fucked the shit out of you by now. But unfortunately you are an ugly fucking GUY who’s tight bussy will remain unstretched by my thick, meaty 9 inch cock because I AM NOT GAY. If i were gay though, you’d find my jackhammer pounding away at your tight bussy with the force of ten tsunamis. Luckily for you I AM NOT GAY and you will have your vigin asshole remain unpounded ad infinum. Actually, it seems that you’re the gay one here. You are gay, not me. I am not gay and never will be. If I were ever gay in a past life (which I WASN’T), I would be killing myself right now, that is how gay I’m not.

Shorter version

I’m not gay. I am not gay. Do not ever call me gay ever again. I am quite honestly one of the least gay people you have ever met. I fuck bitches, mad fucking fucked bitches. I am not gay. Stop saying I’m gay

SHUT THE FUCK UP

Shut the fuck up. I'm so tired of being disrespected on this goddamn website. All I wanted to do was post my opinion. MY OPINION. But no, you little bastards think it's "hilarious" to mock those with good opinions. My opinion. while not absolute, is definitely worth the respect to formulate an ACTUAL FUCKING RESPONSE AND NOT JUST A SHORT MEME OF A REPLY. I've been on this site for 6 months: 6 MONTHS and I have never felt this wronged. It boils me up that I could spend so much time thinking and putting effort into things while you shits sit around (probably jerking off to traps or whatever gay shit you like) and make fun of the intellectuals of this world. I've bored you? Good for fucking you. Literally no one cares that your little brain is to underdeveloped and rotted to comprehend my idea...MY GREAT GREAT IDEA. I could sit here all day whining, but I won't. I'm NOT a whiner. I'm a realist and an intellectual. I know when to call it quits and to leave the babybrains to themselves. I'm done with this goddamn site and you goddamn immature children. I have lived my life up until this point having to deal with memesters and idiots like you. I know how you work. I know that you all think you're "epik trolls" but you're not. You think you baited me? NAH. I've never taken any bait. This is my 100% real opinion divorced from anger. I'm calm, I'm serene. I LAUGH when people imply I'm intellectually low enough to take bait. I always choose to reply just to spite you. I won. I've always won. Losing is not in my skillset. So you're probably gonna reply "lol epik trolled" or "u mad bro" but once you've done that you've shown me I've won. I've tricked the trickster and conquered memery. I live everyday growing stronger to fight you plebs and low level trolls who are probably 11 (baby, you gotta be 18 to use 4chan). But whatever, I digress. It's just fucking annoying that I'm never taken serious on this site, goddamn.