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Coital Dominance

    I wish females would ascertain their coital dominance on my only slightly higher than average fat content (463 lbs) of a body. Any redditor kitten females up for the challenge? 😉😘😘😜

    My husband talks like a pirate when we have sex and it’s driving me insane.

      He started doing this about a year ago and won't stop. It's so annoying and I've told him I don't think it's funny or sexy but he called me a "land lubber" and a "scurvy dog" then threatened to "plunder my booty." I told him I was serious and he said he'd try to stop but that was several months ago and it's like he can't stop and it's some kind of compulsion. Otherwise our sex life is great but just the other night when I took off my underwear and spread my legs he cried out "Thar she blows! Ready the harpoon lads!" Which I definitely didn't appreciate the whale comparison (I am not overweight) and when he finished he yelled out "Yaaaaaaar!" Like a pirate and I just rolled my eyes.

At this point I don't think he can help it and it might be a kink of his or something so I'm trying to just go along with it and be supportive even though it's very weird. This is literally the most obnoxious thing my husband does so I'm luckier than a lot of women I guess.

      Is 16 and 16.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 an acceptable age gap?

        Context: My(16f) boyfriend(16.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001m) and i started dating around 3 months ago.

We met at this wonderful, cozy cafe that just had this amazing atmosphere and i immediately knew he was the one. Obviously, the first thing I asked him was his age, because, i didn't want to get groomed. It was a huge relief when he told me he was 15.748393837394049838283744929837594027264829837493929474893920753902973 years old, because i also happened to be that exact same age at the time (or so i thought). I was still a bit cautious though.

Fast forward to around 2 weeks ago, it was our birthday. The two of us were just celebrating, when we suddenly got a call from the hospital, informing us that my boyfriend's time of birth had been incorrectly registered as 1 Planck time (about 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 years) lesser than it actually was, due to a malfunction in the 45 ton quantum clock operating in the hospital at the time. (It's supposed to count seconds based on the orbital period of an electron in an atom of Silicon, but apparently, it was uncalibrated.) This meant he was actually 1 Planck time older than me.

I immediately started freaking out and, in a panic, anticipating i was about to get groomed, pushed my boyfriend down the stairs. Looking back on it, it might have been an overreaction, but it was in the heat of the moment, and i wasn't thinking straight. He ended up breaking his C1, C3, T7 and L3 vertebrae, and has yet to wake up from his coma.

Without him, I've been having a lot more time to think, so i began wondering if a 1 Planck time (0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 years) age gap is too much? Like, i know it's probably fine... but I'm just not comfortable dating someone that much older. I'm honestly thinking about breaking up with him if he ever wakes up from his coma. I just wouldn't be able to live in constant fear of being groomed. What do you guys think??

        Girlfriend “Post Nut Shitting” ???

          I need help. I've been with this girl for about 5 months now. Everything was fine up until she started doing this thing called "Post Nut Shitting"

I'm not fucking kidding. I wish I was. Every time we do anything, she tells me "It is time for my post nut shit", smiles to herself, gets up, and goes to the bathroom. And look, I know girls usually pee or whatever after sex because its reduces the chance of an infection or something (reddit dont crucify me if im wrong thats just how I remember it) but she makes it clear she is shitting in there. She even makes comments afterwards. If we have sex multiple times she will sit in the bathroom after each time for up to 15 minutes doing god knows what (Cant be shitting, this is her 3rd time in there?). I honestly have no idea where this comes from. I stopped laughing at it the second or so time shes done this. It has become a consistent thing now and it honestly is grossing me out, especially since now I cant even fuck her without thinking about her stupid fucking post nut shit.

How the hell do I even begin to talk to her about this. Is this a fucking meme or something??

Edit : Is this a tiktok trend or something? Someone said their GF apparently does this too.

          Bottoms

            AHAHAHAHHA GUYS! BOTTOMS! THE POST SAID BOTTOMS!

I am begging all 196 users to shut the fuck up about bottoms. It’s not like bottoming for gamers you grassless horndogs it’s just a position on a team. Not everything has to be about fucking. You aren’t “bottoming for oncoming traffic” when you stop at an intersection. Concepts can exist separate to sex and we don’t have to keep making the same fucking jokes over and over and over again please just be funny this constant “OOH HEEHEE GUYS GUESS WHAT? BOTTOMS 🥺!” is THE lamest most unfunny shit on this sub

            my mom has been gone for 3 hours, what do I do

              35m my mom went to get me food but she has been gone for three hours. If she's not home we will be stuck with only frozen pizza and French fries. She's making me really upset.

Edit- curly fries not the regular crap

Another edit- she said she got stuck in a storm but it wasn't even raining hard? Ig the issue is resolved though. I got of a video call with her and she told me not to tell my dad she was gone so long. The camera was shaking and there was a lot of grunting and cooing. I think she is going to the gym and doesn't want me to know.