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AITA for murdering my mom and bathing in her blood, using her entrails as bath toys, because she took away my ipad?

    So, I (6m) was watching porn 😳 on my ipad 📱 when my STUPID MOM (43f) came in and saw me. She (43f) took away my ipad, and grounded me (6m) for a week. I (6m) was having none of that, though. Not long after, I (6m) realized that without my (6m) ipad, I (6m) CAN'T WATCH BELUGA!!! 😾😾😾 And I (6m) was having none of that. I (6m) was like, nuh uh uh. So, I (6m) went to the kitchen to grab a knife 🔪 , and I (6m) stabbed her (43f) 47 times in chest, 23 times in the thigh, and 2 times in the throat. After that, I (6m) cut up her (43f) body, put it inside a fridge, and I (6m) waited 3 months 📆. During that time, I survived on dust mites lol 🤣When the time ⏰ came, I (6m) took the blood 🩸 that I took from her (43f) body, and filled my (6m) bathtub with it. I (6m) hopped in, and I (6m) took her (43f) entrails from a bucket that I (6m) had previously placed them in. After that, I (6m) took her (43f) skin, and wore it like a mask. 😷I (6m) looked just like Jacksepticye!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

So, Reddit AITA?

    AMONG 💰💰 US 🆎 Funny 🤣 Moments!

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      TIFU by playing Among Us with my (used to be) girlfriend

        So me and my girlfriend were on Discord together bored out of our minds. That’s when she came up with the idea to play Among Us. I agreed, and we joined a public lobbies playing together.

So in one round I get the engineer role (for those who haven’t played among us for a while, it’s a role where you can vent as a crew mate) and I vent in front of her. She freaks out and presses the button and snitches on me, telling the people I was an Impostor.

They didn’t believe her and they skipped. I then told her on vc that if I was the impostor I wouldn’t even kill her because that’s messed up. She on the other hand said “I would murder you first if I was the impostor.”

So next round I’m the Impostor. I killed her first and I started laughing because she was so surprised by it. So I begin to finish the round off by winning. After I won, I continued to laugh about how she was so unaware of me killing her.

Then she got angry at me and told me that I promised I wouldn’t kill her as an impostor, so I broke the trust I had with her. I thought she was joking at first because ITS AMONG US. A GAME WHERE YOU HAVE TO LIE.

She then said things like “What kind of boyfriend does that” “You’re just like my ex” “you shouldn’t be laughing, that proves you don’t care about me”

So I argued back with her telling her it was a game about fucking beans and she’s getting so worked up over it.

We kinda yelled at each other on VC which led to her breaking up with me because she couldn’t trust me anymore.

WHAT THE FUCK. 😭I really just lost my girlfriend over amogus. Here’s a little bit of our convo after we got off vc and stuff.

https://ibb.co/fpJJBX7

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I played among us together. I killed her as an impostor and she went off at me which ended in us breaking up.

        TIFU by fucking my very real futa girlfriend in the ass ( by accident)

          Obligatory this happened 5 years ago but we are still very much happily married today and having lots of sex every day. A bit of a backstory, my dick is fucking huge. I have a 12 inches with 5 inch diameter. I also last really long in bed. Also me and my wife are polyamorous so hmu if you wanna try something ;).

Now, to the story. My wife and I were into vanilla sex only at the time. I was getting kind of bored one day so I suggested she peg me with her giant futa cock instead of the other way around while she masturbates me to vaporeon porn. Now, because my dick is so fucking large, it took a lot of effort to switch positions, and while in the process of doing so, my dominant pelvic thrusts slapped her cock out of the way and it slipped into her asshole. Now, this felt really good, so I kept going even though she yelled at me to stop and that it hurt. After I nutted inside her I sat down on my pewdiepie gamer chair to work on my star wars minecraft build. Reddit, AITA?

TLDR: Accidentaly buttfucked my futa cock girlfiend with my giant penis while she begged me to stop.

Edit: Thank you for the gold kind strangers!!1!11!!

Edit 2: Alot of you wanted a TLDR so I have added one to the end of the post.

Edit 3: Some of you guys are saying I was NTA or am TA for different reasons so I've taken all of your guys'sses' advice and will hit the gym then enlarge my cock then fuck her even harder next time in the dick and make sure to hide the gorilla glue. TYSM fellow holesome 100 fedora tipping keanu chungus redditors.

          TIFU by conditioning myself to get a boner whenever I fix the printer

            Getting a boner when fixing printer
            When I was a teenager I got super bored and decided I wanted to see if I could get a fetish on purpose. I set up an experiment to see if I could get a fetish for something extremely non-sexual if I tried hard enough. So every time I wanted to whack it, I ignored looking up porn and instead looked up computer insides and maintenance imagery on google and tried to jack off to it. I did this for like a month or two and then forgot about it because it wasn't working, and now like five years later I realise I accidentally pavlov'd myself into associating sex with machine maintenance. The real kicker is that I'm the family's computer guy so I had to go to my grandma's house to fix the printer there, and I had to pull out the toner drum and I legitimately felt like I was doing something perverse. I could not stop getting nervous the entire time I was there because I was anxious about my poor unsuspecting family somehow finding out that opening up the printer gets my dick hard :/ TL;DR Jacked off to computer parts when I was like 15 cause I was bored and now I'm scared shitless of fixing my grandma's printer in case I get a boner 

EDIT: Sorry if any of my friends who know this about me saw that i put this on reddit for clout. Thought id at least get something out of the debacle

            TIFU BY Doing sexy time

              TIFU sex sex sex sex
              So I was sexing my hot gf who I have lots of sex with when I fucked up today. Since I was about to cum I pulled out you know? She got ready to take my load all over her face but I came too hard because the sex was so sexy that I blew her head off like a shotgun Edit: all of you saying this is fake can shut up. This is 1000% real and I’m dealing with a very traumatic loss right now. Stop being inconsiderate please and thank you.