Redditor’s Oath
I shall take no wife and father no children. I shall wear no condoms and slay no pussy. I shall live and die in my virginity. I am the penis in the nothing. I am the watcher of the Naruto, Netflix, and porn. I am the shield that guards the women from me. I pledge my debauchery and extreme (Borat Accent)¡retardations! to the Dank Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.