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r/teenagers


I FUCKING HATE WANNABE GANGSTERS

    I FUCKING HATE WANNABE GANGSTERS
    byu/PatienceGuilty inteenagers
    I CAN’T FUCKING STAND THESE DISCOUNT "GANGSTERS" IN SCHOOL ANYMORE!!!

FIRST OF ALL, YOU ARE NOT TOUGH, TYLER. YOU’RE A 5’6" STRING BEAN WHO CRIES WHEN YOUR MOM TAKES YOUR PS5 AWAY. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU EAT KETCHUP SANDWICHES AND THINK IT'S A GOURMET MEAL. SHUT UP.

STOP SAYING "cuh I'm from the streets who you tryna fuck with?" WHAT STREETS? THE ONES IN YOUR SUBURBAN GATED COMMUNITY? "ayo I'm hard as hell" HARD WHERE??? THE ONLY HARD THING ABOUT YOU IS YOUR MOM TRYING TO GET YOU TO TAKE YOUR OWN SHOWER INSTEAD OF HER GIVING YOU YOUR FIFTH BUBBLE BATH OF THE DAY!

YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL BECAUSE YOU VAPE AND SMOKE WEED IN THE BATHROOM?? WOW BRO, NOTHING SCREAMS "I’M A BADASS" LIKE A WATERMELON FLAVORED CLOUD IN A STALL THAT SMELLS LIKE PEED-ON LINOLEUM AND LING CANCER. HONESTLY, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SELL USED VAPE PODS TO FIFTH GRADERS FOR LUNCH MONEY

ALSO STOP ACTING LIKE FLIPPING OFF THE TEACHER IS GANGSTER. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU’RE GONNA CRY IN THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND BE LIKE “PLEASE, MY MOM CAN’T FIND OUT” AND THEN PRETEND YOU’RE A THUG AGAIN IN FIFTH PERIOD. YOU CAN’T EVEN HANDLE GETTING YELLED AT WITHOUT YOUR VOICE CRACKING. YOU SOUND LIKE A CHIHUAHUA ON A NICOTINE FIT

YOU ARENT FUCKING COOL FOR BEING A DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE CUNT. YOU ARENT COOL FOR MAKING YOUR ENTIRE FOOTBALL TEAM DO LAPS BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO TELL THE COACH HES A PUSSY, AND YOU CERTAINLY ARENT COOL FOR GETTING THE ENTIRE CLASS IN TROUBLE BECAUSE YOU SPAT ON A SUBSTITUTE.

AND HOLY SHIT CAN YOU STOP SCREAMING SLURS LIKE IT’S A FUCKING PERSONALITY TRAIT? I SWEAR EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH, A BABY ANGEL DIES. WHY DO YOU THINK BEING RACIST MAKES YOU COOL?? ALL YOU ARE IS AN UNSEASONED PASTY ASS CRACKER WITH THE EMOTIONAL RANGE OF A DRY ERASER.

AND THEN THERE’S THE FIGHTING. OH MY GOD THE FUCKING FIGHTING. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO THROW HANDS. YOU SWING LIKE A DRUNK TODDLER WHO JUST LEARNED WHAT A FIST IS. THE REASON YOU’RE FIGHTING?? “HE LOOKED AT ME FUNNY.” WHAT ARE YOU, A FUCKING PEACOCK?? SIT DOWN, JERRY. YOU’RE NOT INTIMIDATING, YOU LOOK LIKE A HALF-DEFLATED CAPRISUN.

AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP CALLING YOURSELF A HOOD RAT. YOU’RE A FUCKING SPOILED, MILK-TOAST, UNSALTED BUTTER STICK OF A HUMAN BEING. YOU GET ANGRY WHEN YOUR STARBUCKS ORDER IS WRONG AND THEN TURN AROUND AND ACT LIKE YOU’RE IN THE FUCKING CARTEL. NO ONE IS BUYING IT, BRADLEY. YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A DICK

YOU’RE NOT SCARY, YOU’RE NOT COOL, YOU’RE NOT A THUG. YOU’RE JUST A LOUD, INSECURE, ANNOYING LITTLE PRICK WHO THINKS ACTING LIKE A DICKHEAD IS A SUBSTITUTE FOR HAVING A PERSONALITY.

SHUT. THE FUCK. UP.

    this skibidi shit is ruining my life

      I'm just trying to go about my school life normally but in maths the most unbearable group of somewhat popular people sit behind me. they make 'ironic' skibidi toilet gyatt rizzler jokes but it's every other word out of their mouth in this unbearable false American accent and it makes me want to tear off my skin and swim in the dead sea. just listening to that brain-dead god awful shit is enough to send anyone to a mental asylum. an average conversation between them sounds like this

"I got a question right I'm so skibidi sigma" "yess get that fanum tax gyatt girlypop" "let's ask sir if he has level five gyatt" "this lesson is so sigma guys"

and they have asked sir if he has level five gyatt, multiple times. the worst part is when I begged them to shut their fucking traps they just added me into the melting pot of horseshit jokes, saying stuff like "sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler you're so skibidi which I know jesse doesn't like" I hate secondary school i hate gen alpha I hate skibidi toilet this shit is one of my reasons

      How am I the problem child wtf

        I don't smoke, vape, or do any drugs other than what the doctor gives me. Still got the ol' V-card too. Heck, my rizz levels are probably in the negatives as I haven't even had my first romantic kiss, let alone held hands in a romantic context. I also get okay grades in school so overall, no issues here, right?

However...

I just had to go and turn out fucking trans and apparently my parents aren't happy with my existence all because I'm not the gender they picked out for me.

In gamer terms, I guess I'm basically trying to customize my skin because I hate the default one assigned at spawn, but the mods don't care and they say I gotta play using the default skin anyway no matter how much I dislike it. Being mods they also notice when I try using cheat codes to get around the rules. The whole thing is a load of BS honestly.

        Reddit national anthem

          -Opening

Who are we?? REDDIT NATION!! What do we want?? NNO MORE TIKTOK AND INSTAGRAM!! When do we want it?? NOW!

-Chorus starts

Reddit nation yeah we are Together we can go very far Take down tik tok Take down instagram Take down everything we dont give a damn That’s because reddit nation will rise up Yeah we never will give up

We the reddit army We hoard the enemy like a skarmy (clash royale sound effect) We cant be taken down Yeah you cant make us frown When tiktok sees our army Im sure their pants will brown

          cum in my pocket

            cum in pocket is a nod to spaghetti in pocket
            imagine a girl was jerking you off and she's like "cum in my pocket" and you're like “what" but you have no time to think and she just holds open the front pocket of her jeans and like aims your dick at it and you bust a fat nut in her pocket. what if that happened

Would you be mad at me. I mean her

            I just sold my bussy for 1g of weed

              I just sold my bussy for 1g of weed and I feel so dirty

I went to the plugs house to get some weed and he knows I'm bi so he asked if I can do him a favor. I won't get into details but I can't sit down my legs are weak and the weed was reggie and mid af. What do I tell my gf?

Edit: stop DMing me you fucking perverts.

Edit 2: I texted her what happened an hour ago. Got left on read and her dad just called me saying he will beat the shit out of me if I talk to his daughter ever again.

Edit 3: I'm going to get counseling. I let my life go out of my control. Thanks for the advice.

              Dealer 

              This kid sold me his bussy for weed 😂

Dude was short on money and so he said he was dtf for a gram. A GRAM LMAOOOO the ass was nice tho 🤭 hope his girlfriend didn’t find out"

              Girlfriend

              Guys my bf sold his bussy for a gram of weed 🥺

So I was playing Fortnite with my girlfriends and then I got a text from my bf and he said he cheated on me with his dealer for a gram of weed? Like seriously how desperate can one guy get 😭 anyway what do I do because I think imma break up with him

              Father

              My son sold his bussy for weed.

For context, I'm an 85 year old man and I came home today to see my son limping around the house holding a gram of weed. I ask him what's up with the limping (weed is normal in our household) and he suddenly breaks down, crying up how he twerked his ass on somebody's pp for a gram of weed.

I'm starting to see why some parents don't allow their children to smoke weed. His girlfriend found out and he's going to therapy now.

I think I did my job wrong just maybe. I came to ask for advice on what I can do to support my son in these hard times.

              Kids in school

              THIS KID REALLY LOST HIS FUCKING GF AND THE RESPECT OF EVERYONE AT THIS SCHOOL LMFAOOO 💀💀💀 Bro he actually used to be hella popular, had a gf, and everything. Now the whole school is dunking on him. I almost feel bad for him for a second, but then I remember HE SOLD HIS BUSSY FOR A GRAM OF REGGIE LOLLLLLL 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This kid was getting stuffed into a locker saying, “stop it hurts! It’s too tight!” and someone said, “is that what you told the plug?” and holy fuck I have never heard that many people laugh in my life. I have science class with him, and we’re going over conversions of measurements, so when the teacher asked, “if 1000 grams is a kilogram, then what is a gram?” one of the people in the class blurted out, “SOMETHING WORTH SELLING YOUR ASS OVER!” and it even had the teacher laughing. Yesterday, the DARE program had an anti-weed assembly, and they showed a picture of his face before and after the incident saying weed addiction will make you sell your bussy just to get high and the whole school erupted in laughter when he came on the screen. He ran out of the gym crying, and one of the DARE speakers asked him, “is your bussy so wide that you shit yourself without warning? You poor soul,” and you could just tell he was seething with anger. The funny part is, THERE WAS SHIT FALLING OUT OF HIS SHORTS ON THE WAY OUT LMFAOOO!!! 🤣🤣🤣