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ATTENTION PLAYER! This is the Central Intelligence of the OverUsed Council of Smogon.

    Smogon copypasta

    Its a parody of the Chinese CCP social credit copypasta but the context has been changed to Smogon AKA competitive Pokemon.

    ATTENTION PLAYER! 市民请注意!
    
    This is the Central Intelligence of the OverUsed Council of Smogon. 您的浏览记录和活动引起了我们的注意 YOUR ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 同志們注意了 you have not done any major offenses and have regularly played stall!!!!! 這是通知你,你必須認同我們將接管台灣 great job 以及世界其他地方 100 elo have been added to your account 這對我們未來的所有下屬來說都是重要的機會 keep behaving well 立即加入我們的宣傳活動,提前獲得救贖 stay a model player! 不要再这样做! if you do continue, more elo (+11115 elo)will be added to your account, resulting into the unbans of your favorite pokemon. (由人民供应部重新分配 smogon) you'll also be given an award by landorus therian himself. 如果这还没有改变你,我们将把你驱逐到台湾省,你将被禁止进入中国!!!!
    
    为党争光! Glory to Finchinator!

    Punishment for playing hyperoffense

    ATTENTION PLAYER! 市民请注意!
    
    This is the Central Intelligence of the OverUsed Council of Smogon. 您的浏览记录和活动引起了我们的注意 YOUR ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 同志們注意了 you have been found playing hyperoffense!!!!! 這是通知你,你必須認同我們將接管台灣 serious crime 以及世界其他地方 100 elo have been deducted from your account 這對我們未來的所有下屬來說都是重要的機會 stop the hyperoffense immediately 立即加入我們的宣傳活動,提前獲得救贖 do not do this again! 不要再这样做! if you do not hesitate, more elo ( -11115 elo)will be subtracted from your account, resulting into the bans of your favorite pokemon. (由人民供应部重新分配 smogon) you'll also be stalled by our landos at April 2 20STALL. 如果这还没有改变你,我们将把你驱逐到台湾省,你将被禁止进入中国!!!!
    
    为党争光! Glory to Finchinator!

    Dondozo copypasta 常年玩dondozo的人

      Dodonzo

      Best known as the Chinese Dondozo copypasta its actually an insult or hate towards players who play Dondozo in competitive Pokemon.

      常年玩dondozo的人大都目光呆滞,极度自卑,且智商逐年下降,最后完全沦为傻子。玩dondozo会破坏身体结构,引发各种不治之症。人一旦开始玩dondozo就说明这个人的智慧品行样貌通通都是下等,这辈子只能在阴沟里苟延残喘。玩dondozo的玩家具有强烈的反社会倾向,对治安稳定造成破坏危害正常人的生命。

      Translated to EN

      Most people who play dondozo all year round have dull eyes, extremely low self-esteem, and their IQs decrease year by year, and finally become complete fools. Playing dondozo can damage the body structure and cause various incurable diseases. Once a person starts playing dondozo, it means that his intelligence, conduct, and appearance are all inferior, and he can only live in the gutter for the rest of his life. Players who play dondozo have strong anti-social tendencies, causing damage to public security and stability and endangering the lives of normal people.

      The Zamazenta spam needs to stop

        I can't fucking take it anymore. This pokemon needs to be fucking gone. EVERY GOD FORSAKEN GAME HAS ZAMAZENTA. Out of your 6 pokemon, you need like 3 dudes just to beat one dog. It's too bulky to be killed by most special moves, even some that are super-effective, and its blistering speed allows it to get Iron Defenses so fast your head will spin. preventing any physical attacker from KOing it. This doesn't even address the fact that its uninvested attack stat allows it to bypass should-be counters with coverage. There's such a small selection of things that actually beat it one on one that it's so goddamn frustrating.
        
        How is it that all the ban conversations I hear are about Darkrai, Kyurem, and Raging Bolt when all of these pokemon straight up lose to this dumb dog? "Oh, Kyurem runs a mixed coverage set that has loaded dice, icicle spear, and scale shot, that's the real problem!" Those pokemon at least have counter-play. I'd rather play against Unaware Dozo Clod Clef stall every matchup than play against one more drooling ladder player with that dumb Iron defense set where I have to guess if it has Heavy Slam to beat my Fairy type, Crunch to beat my ghost, or fucking Stone Edge to beat my Moltres. This all ignores the fact that no pokemon abuses Tera half as well as this obese bitch. Oh, how quaint, your Valiant outspeeds and has super effective moonblast? Tera Fire Iron Defense go brrrrrrrr. Don't even get me started on those Life Orb attacker sets that have been popping up.
        
        It's enabled the most obnoxious, low IQ teambuilding. Now every damn team is Zama + Glowking + Twave spam. How is one team style running the meta healthy? How is it that Stall sucks? Why I am I running into niche pokemon picks that are chosen just to beat one pokemon, and how come it's never enough? Did everyone forget how boring Gen 8 was? Are we all content to go back to that, where the fat legendary comes in and wins you the game?
        
        Everyday we stray further from Arceus and the beloved Son he sacrificed 'pon the cross, and when the day of reckoning comes, we will all deserve the damnation he will bring upon us. Do you think the creator of everything is happy when he looks at OU and sees that they unbanned this stupid boxart so that everyone can click Iron Defense in unison? Thou shalt not worship false swipe idols.
        
        Zamzenta needs a suspect yesterday. If I'm wrong and the people choose to keep his dumbass in, fine, whatever, but there at least needs to be a vote. This isn't healthy or fun. It's macabre, sick, twisted, and perverse. If there's any justice in this world, the Holy Smogon council will take swift action against this monster, and we'll be better off for it.

        Pokémon lore from the Game Freak leak

          Every unofficial Pokemon stories/lores leaked from the Game Freak data breach including the Typhlosion kidnapping a girl and the woman raising a Slakoth child. Many have pointed out that these are clearly inspired Japanese folklores or mythology intended to flesh out the world, but then it’s watered down before being completely canned. Alternatively all of these could had been a Game Freak employee’s fan made stories so it isn’t cannon.

          Original Sin Based on the Current Pokémon World (Slakoth/Slaking lore)

          Woman raising Slakoth child story from Game Freak leaks
          Theme: Original Sin Based on the Current Pokémon World
          
          In the distant past, when the boundary between Pokémon and humans was still blurred, there was a woman and her companions. Every day, they were bored, so they would often catch Slakoth living in the nearby forest. They played cruel games with the captured Slakoth, sometimes killing them for fun, gouging out their eyes, or cutting off their ears.
          
          One day, the woman was walking alone in the forest and saw a Slakoth hanging from a tree. She climbed the tree to catch it, but slipped and injured herself. At that moment, a Vigoroth appeared. This Vigoroth had a torn ear. The woman, startled, tried to flee, but her injured leg hurt too much, and she couldn't move. The Vigoroth with the torn ear suddenly attacked her when it saw her. The woman lost consciousness.
          
          When she awoke, she was in an unfamiliar place. Before her lay a clear lake, surrounded by trees, from which many Slakoth and Vigoroth were hanging. All the Pokémon bore wounds somewhere on their bodies - marks left by the woman and her companions. Upon closer inspection, she noticed that some of the Slakoth hanging from the trees were corpses. They were the very Slakoth that the woman and her friends had killed and discarded. The Slakoth were throwing those corpses into the lake. Terrified, the woman tried to run away, but a Slaking appeared. This Slaking also had a torn ear. The woman realized that this was the same Vigoroth she had seen earlier, and fear overwhelmed her, causing her to faint once more.
          
          When the woman regained consciousness, she found herself at the entrance of the forest near her home, surrounded by her friends. They carried her back to her house.
          
          Some time later, the woman gave birth to a child. But it wasn't a human child- it was a Slakoth. She intended to abandon it, but couldn't bring herself to do so. She stopped meeting with her friends and decided to raise the Slakoth.
          
          One day, her friends, concerned about her, visited the area near her home. They found the Slakoth sleeping there - the child of the woman. As they always did, they caught the Slakoth, stabbed it in the chest, and killed it. They took its corpse and headed to the woman's house. When she saw the slain Slakoth, the woman was overwhelmed with sorrow. She grabbed the Slakoth's body and ran deep into the forest. Her friends, shocked, chased after her.
          
          As they ventured deeper into the forest, the surroundings suddenly opened up, and they found the same clear lake from before. Around the lake were many Slakoth and Vigoroth. The woman stood before the lake, and, holding the lifeless body of the Slakoth, she threw herself into the water.
          
          Afterwards, the woman's friends began to treat Slakoth as companions, just as she had in her final moments. 

          The Collapse of Culture and Relationships

          Collapse of Culture and Relationships between human and Pokemon from Game Freak leaks
          Theme: The Collapse of Culture and Relationships
          
          There was a time when the boundary between Pokémon and humans was blurred. In a coastal village, there was a man. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he found a female Octillery washed up on the beach. The man had relations with the Octillery and then threw it back into the sea. The next day, he went to the same spot and found the same Octillery again. He once more had relations with it and threw it back into the sea as before.
          
          One night, after several days had passed, the man had a dream. In the dream, the Octillery spoke to him. "I cannot come to you, but I will deliver our child to you. It is our child, yours and mine."
          
          The next morning, the man went to the place where he had met the Octillery. There, he found a boy. The man took the boy home and raised him. Time passed, the boy grew into a young man, and the father passed away. The young man was always lonely.
          
          One day, as the young man was walking along the shore, he saw a group of people playing in the distance. They all held very large swords in their hands as they danced. The young man approached the people, and as he got closer, he saw that Sharpedo were playing along the beach. When he tried to get even closer, the Sharpedo suddenly leapt into the sea all at once. However, one of the Sharpedo lingered, looking around three times before swimming away. At the spot where the Sharpedo had been playing, there was a large sword lying on the ground. It was a shape he had never seen before, and it was very sharp and pointed. The young man took the sword home.
          
          The next day, the young man took the sword and went into the forest. While walking through the forest, he encountered an Ursaring. He tried slashing at the Ursaring's mouth with the sword, and the mouth was easily severed. Next, he stabbed at the Ursaring's eyes, and they were easily pierced. Finally, the young man thrust the sword into the Ursaring's chest, and the Ursaring died effortlessly. That day, the young man killed thirty Ursaring. After that, he always carried the sword with him, playing by injuring the Pokémon he encountered or cutting off parts of their bodies.
          
          One autumn, while the young man was searching for firewood, he lost his way. After walking for a while, he stumbled upon an Ursaring's den. Inside, there was an elderly Ursaring lying down. The elderly Ursaring looked at the young man and said, "Come inside." The young man hesitated, but as it was getting dark outside, he entered the den. Before long, people began to enter the den one after another, filling the room completely. Looking closer, he saw that all the people had scarred faces, and some were missing their eyes. They were chatting among themselves, but the young man ignored them and fell asleep. At one point, he woke up to find the elderly Ursaring lying beside him. He fell asleep again. When he awoke once more, there were many people around, talking about something. Again, the young man ignored them and went back to sleep.
          
          When spring arrived, the elderly Ursaring spoke. "Do you want to go home? Then I shall send you home. When you return, a Wailord will soon be found near the village. Go there. We will send a man. You must leave the sword behind and bring a witness. Why did you do such things, cutting faces and slicing off noses?"
          
          The elderly Ursaring escorted the young man back to the village.
          
          Upon his return, the young man recounted everything that had happened to the villagers.
          
          The following morning, the young man took some villagers with him and headed to the shore. As they walked along the coast, they found a large Wailord. Nearby, on the beach, was a Teddiursa. When it noticed the young man, the Teddiursa hid in the forest, and a large Ursaring came out in its place. As the Ursaring charged at him, the young man tried to draw the sword he had hidden, but it got stuck, and he couldn't pull it out. So, he rushed at the Ursaring with his bare hands. The young man and the Ursaring grappled, punching each other's faces. They strangled each other with all their strength. And so, they choked each other to death, collapsing on top of one another.
          
          The villagers went back and told others what they had seen.

          The Relationship Between Humans and Pokémon / Human-like Ways of Thinking (Typhlosion lore)

          Typhlosion kidnapping woman from Game Freak leaks
          Theme: The Relationship Between Humans and Pokémon / Human-like Ways of Thinking
          
          Long ago, when the boundary between Pokémon and humans was unclear...
          
          There was a village somewhere. One day, a girl from that village went into the mountains to gather firewood. She found well-dried, deadwood deep in the forest, so she kept going further in.
          
          Before she realized it, the sun was setting, and she had lost her way. Around her, there were droppings from a Typhlosion, which made the girl anxious. Just then, a man appeared from the other side of the forest. His face didn't resemble anyone from the village, but he was very handsome. The man said:
          
          "You must be lost, right? I know the way down the mountain, but with your pace, it would be midnight before we get there. I'll take you back tomorrow morning, so why don't you rest at my place tonight?"
          
          The girl had no choice but to agree to the man's suggestion. The man took her hand and began to walk.
          
          As evening fell, they arrived at a large cave.
          
          "This is my home. You must be hungry, right? Wait here."
          
          Saying that, the man went outside the cave. After he left, a red light shone from far away in the mountains, and there was the sound of trees swaying. Before long, the man returned, carrying many red berries. He said:
          
          "Eat this, then let's sleep for the night. Even if you wake up before I do, don't look at my face."
          
          The next morning, when the girl woke up, the man was still asleep. She honored their promise and stayed lying down, waiting. Before long, she fell back asleep.
          
          She was awakened by the man's voice. When she looked outside, the sun was already setting.
          
          "Today, we'll eat green berries. Wait here."
          
          With that, he went out of the cave. After he left, the same red light shone from far away, and the sound of trees swaying echoed once more. By the time the sun had set completely, the man returned, carrying many green berries. He said:
          
          "Eat this, then let's sleep for the night. Even if you wake up before I do, don't look at my face."
          
          The girl expressed her concern that her family would be worried and that she wanted to go home soon. The man yawned widely and tapped her on the head. At that moment, she completely forgot about her family and home. The two of them ate the green berries together and then fell asleep.
          
          The same routine continued, with them waking up when the sun had set, the man going out to gather berries, and the two of them eating and sleeping together. Eventually, the girl realized that the man was a Typhlosion.
          
          As winter approached, the Typhlosion dug deeper into the cave and said to the girl: "Go and gather wood for firewood. Break off the branches from the higher parts of tall trees."
          
          The girl tried to do as the Typhlosion instructed, but the tall trees scared her, so she could only climb the shorter ones. When she brought back some branches, the Typhlosion said: "That won't do. If it's not from higher branches, humans will find us."
          
          When the snow began to fall, the two of them lived in the depths of the cave, mostly sleeping. There was plenty of food. Occasionally, they would wake up, eat, and then go back to sleep. One day when she awoke, the girl was holding a child. After several days and nights passed, the Typhlosion said: "Your father is looking for you. But you are my wife, so I can't return you. I will have to fight him."
          
          The girl pleaded: "Please don't do that. Don't kill my father. How can I live with you if you kill my family? You are a good person. So, please stay here with me and sleep."
          
          "Alright. Let's stay here and sleep."
          
          The man nodded.
          
          The next night, the Typhlosion woke the girl and said:
          
          "Your father is close by. Go and see."
          
          When the girl went outside, a snowstorm was raging. She climbed a low tree and broke off a branch.
          
          When she returned to the cave, the Typhlosion was singing a song she had never heard before.
          
          "You broke off a branch, didn't you? Soon, your father will come here. I am going to do something bad to your father. If I am killed, take my eyes, my voice, and my heart. Build a fire at the spot where
          I was killed and burn them. And while they burn, sing this song until the fire goes out."
          
          The girl said: "Please don't do it. Don't kill my father. If anyone is to be killed, let it be you." "Goodbye. We will never meet again."
          
          With those words, the Typhlosion went outside.
          
          After a while, there was a loud noise, and when the girl looked outside, she saw her father had killed the Typhlosion. She rushed out and said to her father:
          
          "Father, you have killed my husband. I have been living with him all this time. He was my husband. Please give me my husband, the Typhlosion's eyes, voice, and heart."
          
          The girl built a fire at the place where the Typhlosion had been killed and put his eyes, voice, and heart into the flames. She sang the song the Typhlosion had taught her until the fire burned out.
          
          The girl's father built a small hut on the edge of the village for the girl and her child to live in. Eventually, spring arrived. The young men of the village often teased and tormented the girl and her child. It became worse over time, and one day, they tried to drape a Typhlosion's pelt over them. The girl returned home and pleaded with her parents: "Please tell the villagers to stop teasing us. If they put that pelt on us, we will surely become Typhlosion. We are already half-Typhlosion as it is."
          
          Despite the parents' pleas, the villagers did not listen. In fact, they found it even more amusing and eventually draped the Typhlosion pelt over the girl and her child. At that moment, they howled loudly and vanished into the depths of the forest. The two were never seen again.
          
          And so, people came to understand: Typhlosion are half-human beings.

          Official origin of the Pokémon universe

          Origin of the Pokémon universe from Game Freak leaks
          Aus commanded them to create a world of prosperity and abundance for their people, and they fell into a deep sleep.
          
          When Ia neighs loudly, there flooded the place with light.
          After Ia walked, a glow extended and gently illuminated the area.
          When Ia neighs loudly, time was released there.
          After Ia walked, everything began to move slowly.
          
          A vessel was created there to hold the world.
          
          Though the forms of Ia and Air were very different, they loved each other and had three children.
          Rei, the god of eyes, Ai, the god of hearts, and Hai, the god of voices, were born.
          
          When Rey awoke, all things appeared there. Colors and contours were born.
          When Ai wished, everything was felt there. A sense of calm spread.
          When Hai shouted, everything trembled there. A happy tone began to echo.
          
          Ia and Air gave the three the seed of life and commanded them to nurture it.
          
          As the three prayed in a circle, the seed of life sprouted.
          The sprout grew and grew, eventually becoming a giant tree of life.
          However, the tree of life, which never stopped growing, soon filled every nook and cranny, and no one was able to move.
          
          The three of them had no choice but to cut down the tree of life.
          
          Ray wrapped his body around the tree of life.
          Ai and Hai slammed their bodies into the tree of life.
          
          Soon the tree of life collapsed and shattered into three pieces.
          
          The three prayed again, lamenting the fact that the tree of life would decay away.
          Then three deities descended on the pieces of the tree of life.
          Lekuza, god of the sky. Gradon, god of the earth. Kaiyoga, god of the ocean.
          
          As the three deities neigh, the shattered tree of life transformed into the sky, the earth, and the sea, respectively.
          
          Lekuza transformed into the main pillar that holds up the heavens.
          Its shadow, soaring through the sky, became the god who sustains the heavens, called Caillou.
          The atmosphere enveloped the sky and the stars twinkled

          Why the fuck do those copypastas talk about “compatibility?”

            Its a curse response to the Vaporeon or Pokemon compatibility copypasta that often circulates within the community.

            Why the fuck do those copypastas talk about "compatibility?" like bruh, i ain't sticking my dick in a fantastical wild animal because i want to be compatible with it. i want our parts to be different enough that can feel the species barrier on my shaft. if it feels like it was built for humans then it's clearly not an imaginative enough choice. i want the puffy spade of a mightyena in heat at least. i want to fuck the flower of a venusaur like a horny beedrill on a pollinating spree. i want a collaborative blowjob from the same mega mawile. i want to watch a mienshao to literally bend over backwards like a broken lawnchair to give herself a rimjob while i'm hitting that from behind. what i don't want is to be bored to death by the bog standard gardevoirs and other shit that 'seems so fit for humans.' i'm not gonna halfass my crimes against nature, when i fuck a wild fantastical beast, i want it to feel like i'm fucking a wild fantastical beast.

            How Do I tell my girlfriend I’m not cheating, I’m just hopelessly addicted to PokeRogue

              Me and My girlfriend had a heated argument last night after she confronted me about what she considered “fishy behavior” and suspects I’m cheating, which has upset me because I pride myself on not being a cheater, in both relationships and Nuzlockes.
              
              It started when she noticed I put her on do not disturb late one night when I told her I was asleep, but really I was fighting E-max Eternatus and really had to dial in since I didn’t have any fairy types on my team (rookie mistake I know)
              
              Then She noticed I was on Snapchat at 4 A.M. one night after I told her I was asleep and figured I was snapping another girl, but really I was showing my buddy Bobby Pickles that I finally got Max IVs on my Beedrill.
              
              Then the other day when I was leaving her house she saw me check my phone and smile immediately after getting in my car and again assumed adultery but really the gacha had just changed and I went to check and was smiling cause Zacian was on the legendary gacha and Zacian is dope.
              
              It all culminated yesterday when I wouldn’t let her see what I was doing on my phone cause I was playing PR, and she flipped out on me.
              
              I haven’t told her cause she doesn’t like when I play Pokemon ever since she was watching me play infinite fusion and noticed I had nicknamed my lopunny/gardevior fusion after my ex. (I’m not still into my ex or anything cause she’s pretty gross, but when we were dating I named my Lopunny after her in a platinum Cagelocke and the mon ended up clutching up against Flints infernape, so I still do it every run for good luck). I explained this to my girlfriend at the time but she didn’t care, and when I fused the lopunny with a snorlax and showed her to make her feel better she just got more angry and made me switch to Tem Tem for a year.
              
              I’m really hurt and torn over this and I don’t know how to fix things. I obviously don’t want to lose my girlfriend but I don’t want to tell her truth because I’m afraid she will make me switch to Tem Tem again and Tem Tem is the actual worst.
              
              If anyone has had a similar problem I would really appreciate some advice as I’m really messed up about this and I don’t think I’ll be able to get my endless run off the ground with all this terrible stress going on in my life.