I know that a lot of people want to catch em' all, but my job is a much bigger challenge. It is my goal to masturbate to all 898 Pokemon, plain and simple. I usually try to do it twice a day, regardless of the difficulties. At the end, I always win. I go on places like Deviantart, rule 34 and, occasionally e621 in order to achieve this massive goal, and when I finally do, I will become a Pokemon Master. Sometimes, it is easy. I can come in five minutes looking at Gardevoir or Lopunny pornos. Sometimes I come across major challenges that I have to overcome, in the case of Garbodor and Magikarp especially. I have to imagine the wet, sloppy fish mouth sucking on my cock without thinking about the actual fish itself. It is very hard, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve victory is immense. Not only do you get the generally pleasurable feeling from ejaculation, but you also know that you overcame an obstacle few men have dared to try. I have a total of 347 successful ejaculations total, but it only gets harder as I move on. When I see a Serperior, for instance, I have to think to myself "In what way can I imagine this creature in order to get off to it?" It is a puzzle for sure, considering I do not have a thing for (most) of these creatures, making it extremely entertaining and interesting for others to watch. I try to focus in on its somewhat beautiful face, and think about that more than the yards of snake behind it. I sometimes have issues with Pokemon like Machamp, who appear extremely male. But I always find a way. There has been no hurdle too steep for me. I want to be the very best. Anything lower does not cut it. And that is why I am beating off to pictures of Lucario on the Internet, mom.
I smirked “That’s it? Ha! gen wunner” Instantly all of the air was sucked out of his lungs. I laughed, and proceeded to name all 802 Pokemon, what levels they evolve at, when they learn all of their moves, what all of the moves do, every Pokédex entry and their current most meta smogon build. With every new fact his body decomposed at a faster and faster rate, until he was nothing more than a pound of dirt. But I was not feeling merciful that day. I used a max revive on him, and proceeded to cause every one of not only his bones, but everyone within 18 generations of him’s bones to dissolve into a fine powder (including mine) He begged me to stop but I kept going. I recounted every piece of rule 34 Pokemon art to date, along with its exact time of creation and what specific fetishes it appeals to, no matter how niche. I then proceeded to jerk off to each and every one right there in front of him. So yeah I guess you could say I’m a Pokémon master. 😎
