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Pokemon copypasta


Zamazenta here is about to sit on my face

    Zamazenta here is about to sit on my face. She is the largest and heaviest creature that I willingly let sit on my face. Zamazenta is 9’ 06” and she weighs 463.0 lbs. Zamazenta needs to be in her normal forme when she sits on my face. She is MUCH heavier in her crowned forme; thus, too heavy to sit on my face. I would die immediately. This forme is okay.
    
    The same rules apply when Zamazenta sits on my face as any other female. I am not allowed to tell Zamazenta to get off my face, Zamazenta can sit on my face for however long she wants, and I am required to lick Zamazenta’s vagina the entire time Zamazenta is sitting on my face and swallow anything that I lick up. Licking Zamazenta’s vagina while she sits on my face is a bit weird. This is because her vagina is so large that my entire face is planted in her vagina. Therefore, licking her vagina means that I am licking the inside walls of Zamazenta’s vagina. Also, since Zamazenta can sit on my face as long as she wants, sometimes it could mean my death because of it because of her heaviness.
    
    Zamazenta is what is referred to as a “facesitting creature”. A facesitting creature is considered a sex creature. Since Zamazenta is a sex creature, we were required to do all of the main four sexual acts for our very first sexual encounter, peeing in my mouth, vagina licking, facesitting, and sexual intercourse. Zamazenta first had to pee in my mouth, then I had to lick her vagina, then Zamazenta had to sit on my face, and then we had to have sexual intercourse. Zamazenta was exempt from sitting on my face because of her size and weight class, but because she was going to be a facesitting

    I caught a Lopunny Batman

      Batman, I -I
      I caught uh- 
      I caught a little Pokemon
      
      Do you wanna know
      What Pokemon i caught?
      
      What Pokemon do you caught, Joker?
      
      I caught a Lopunny, Batman
      I caught a Lopunny
      
      Oh No, Joker
      Don't tell me
      
      You already know, Batman
      You know what i'm gonna do
      TO THAT THING!
      
      JOKER!
      It's an animal, Joker!
      You can't
      
      BATMAN, THERE IS NO LAWS AGAINST THE POKEMON, BATMAN!
      I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT!
      
      NO OH MY GOD! NO!
      
      I'M GONNA DO IT, BATMAN!

      FUCK YOU NIMBASA CITY!

        Nimbasa City
        FUCK YOU NIMBASA CITY! if you're dumb enough to take public transit this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to the Battle Subway. Joltiks! Pokemon that use Earthquake! No Legendaries! If you think you can win 20 battles at the Battle Subway, you can kiss my ass! It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker, that you'll battle for this bullshit GUARANTEED! If you find a better Battle Facility, shove it up your ugly ass! you heard us right, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS! Bring your team, bring your starter, bring your IV trained Pokemon, WE'LL WIN THEM ALL. That's right, we'll win ALL OF THEM! Because at the Battle Subway, you're fucked six ways from Sunday. Take a hike, to the Battle Subway: home of MULTI TRAINS - that's right - MULTI TRAINS. How does it work? If you can win 20 battles in a row, and not fuck up, you get to fist-fight us! Don't wait! Don't delay! DON'T FUCK WITH US, or we'll rip your Pokeballs off. Only at the Battle Subway: the only Battle Facility that tells you to FUCK OFF! HURRY UP ASSHOLE! This subway train leaves the minute after you board it, and you better not lose once, or you're a dead motherfucker. GO TO HELL! Nimbasa City’s Battle Subway. From the most filthy and exclusive the meanest sons-of-bitches in the region of Unova- GUARANTEED!

        Flareon

          Wholesome Flareon copypasta
          Based on the original Vaporeon copypasta
          Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
          Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding, that flareon may not be the best suited when compared to its cousins such as vaporeon or umbreon. But it's small physique and lightweight of 2'11" and 25kg, it would serve a tight but usable delight for your tight desires.
          
          Along with its egg group of 'field' a Flareon is very capable of breeding with humanoid creatures unlike its cousin vaporeon. Its exp growth of medium to fast also allows it to quickly adjust to your body and what you desire, allowing for a more pleasurable experience. Flareon has a very impressive base attack and decent defences that are perfect for those who desire to be dominated, but its lower defensive stat allows you to return what it had given you, but its high special defence allow for all sorts of mental and emotional abuse, and it will power right through.
          
          Flareon does have an issue of its body reaching 1,700 degrees celsius, but as with other pokemon from the fire typing, they are not expressly immune to the flames, meaning that the genitalia would be much cooler as to not harm other Flareons, meaning it will provide a warm, but satiable hole. With Flareon's ability to learn moves such as endure, attract, stored power, charm, and scary face, it has the express ability to satiate the needs you want, being able to endure so much satisfaction, and charming you until you cum, then it will release all it has endured along with you.
          
          This is all without mentioning its other physical features. Flareon’s have manes of fur, ponytails and fluffy tails, the rest of their body covered in warm orange fur. This makes handling the Flareon easy as you’re able to grab the fur around its neck and manipulate it as you please, using it to choke or trap it from escaping. The tail makes it easier to latch onto as well, being able to stop it moving unless you want it to. The lack of protective fur around its chest makes its nipples easy to view and manipulate, allowing you freedom to use it as you please.
          
          In fact, one of Flareon’s hidden abilities is Guts, making it so that whenever the Flareon is affected by a status effect, their Attack increases by 50%, this means that you and your Flareon are able to get into some kinky situations! SO, should your Flareon be asleep and you need to relieve yourself, they’ll be immediately ready, giving back 1.5 times the pleasure as usual! This also works with paralyse, should your desires be to restrict your Flareon, allowing you complete freedom over its body. It’s that simple! Even more though, with your Flareon’s guts ability and its ability to learn sleep talk, you can perform played out rape for the weird people, and it can still use its increase sleeping damage to unconsciously return what you give it.
          
          But more than that, Flareon is the most huggable pokemon in terms of Human and Pokemon companionship. Not only is it able to warm its body up to the perfect hugging temperature, but it also has the aforementioned fluffy orange fur, that is no doubt incredibly soft. But more than this, because of its special defence stat, its able to withstand any emotional venting and be perfectly fine, meaning that a Flareon can cure your depression if treated right!
          
          There is no doubt that Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokemon when talking in terms of Male Human and Female Pokemon breedability, however Flareon is second second to none when comparing a long term relationship. Flareon has a resistance to any emotional damage meaning that they’ll be by your side no matter what, their high attack stat means that the Flareon will never fail to be able to please you, using every single skill in their arsenal to make you happy. Flareon’s body is practically designed for use, perfectly inviting and built for the long haul, the Flareon’s loyalty never failing to be by your side.

          Absol is one of the hottest Pokemon ever

            Absol copypasta
            Whenever I see Absol I can’t hold myself back, It takes every ounce in me to not splurg in my pants when I see the color’s white and blue. I have caught over ten thousand Absol’s to add to my rapindly increasing Absol harem and it’s only getting bigger. Absol is the only thing that turns me on, I stopped watching all porn the first time I saw Absol, my cock get’s unbelievably hard when I see her. When I mega evolved my first Absol baby batter immediately started spewing all over my room and gave my walls a new coat of paint. I have wet dreams about having sex with Absol every night, I would grab her horn and fuck her faster than a jackhammer. I have bought every pokemon game just so I can see Absol in each one, I spend all of my time staring at pictures of Absol. I even quit my job to pursue my new Absol passion, I love Absol so much. TLDR? I like Absol a bit.

            Vaporeon has had enough

              A response to the cursed "Vaporeon is literally build for human" copypasta
              Response to the original Vaporeon copypasta
              Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans?
              
              Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves.
              
              Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill.
              
              But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.