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Pokemon copypasta


so just fuck democracy right?

    so just fuck democracy right?
    
    This is just ridiculous, why does the council get off so much by banning half of the new pokemon without even consulting the player base? Fucking Espathra doesn't even get a suspect test? Has it not occurred to anyone else that there's a little thing called DARK TYPES?! You can even change your damn type to Dark if you need to. But then when anyone brings up garganacl mfers are like "nah its totally fine you just have to run a specific item on this specific pokemon". But it doesn't even get suspected.
    
    The quick bans are getting excessive. Flutter mane and palafin and iron bundle I understand, houndstone I disagree but whatever, but stuff like annihilape and cyclizar should've been suspected at the very least.
    
    Lastly, tournament play shouldn't be a decider in whether something is tested, let alone quick banned. Only stall loving try-hards care about tournaments over anything else.

    Original post


    My goal to masturbate to all 1008 Pokemon

      I know that a lot of people want to catch em' all, but my job is a much bigger challenge. It is my goal to masturbate to all 1008 Pokemon, plain and simple. I usually try to do it twice a day, regardless of the difficulties. At the end, I always win. I go on places like Deviantart, rule 34 and, occasionally e621 in order to achieve this massive goal, and when I finally do, I will become a Pokemon Master. Sometimes, it is easy. I can come in five minutes looking at Gardevoir or Lopunny pornos. Sometimes I come across major challenges that I have to overcome, in the case of Garbodor and Magikarp especially. I have to imagine the wet, sloppy fish mouth sucking on my cock without thinking about the actual fish itself. It is very hard, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve victory is immense. Not only do you get the generally pleasurable feeling from ejaculation, but you also know that you overcame an obstacle few men have dared to try. I have a total of 360 successful ejaculations total, but it only gets harder as I move on. When I see a Serperior, for instance, I have to think to myself "In what way can I imagine this creature in order to get off to it?" It is a puzzle for sure, considering I do not have a thing for (most) of these creatures, making it extremely entertaining and interesting for others to watch. I try to focus in on its somewhat beautiful face, and think about that more than the yards of snake behind it. I sometimes have issues with Pokemon like Machamp, who appear extremely male. But I always find a way. There has been no hurdle too steep for me. I want to be the very best. Anything lower does not cut it. And that is why I am beating off to pictures of Lucario on the Internet, mom.

      I think it’s ok to be aroused by Pokémon

        I think that it’s ok to be sexually aroused by Pokemon. More so, I think it should be encouraged in the games and anime, and GameFreak should lean into it.
        
        Firstly, some Pokemon are shown to be much smarter then humans. Kadabra has been said to have an IQ over 5000, which is gigantically more than the definition of an animal, which have an IQ between 0 (Worms and Fish) and 65 (Apes and Octopus). Thus, they are smarter then needed to be able to give consent. Secondly, the argument could be made they are not as empathetic as humans, and thus can't give consent. This is proven not to be true numerous times in the anime, by watching Meowth. In Season 2, Episode 16 of the Pokemon show, it is established that he is no smarter or different then regular Pokemon, he simply learnt to walk by watching a dance rehearsal and later learnt English through a picture book. Throughout the following seasons, it’s shown how he schemes, laughs, cries and even at points, deceives people into thinking he is a human (in order to steal Ash's Pikachu of course). And the last piece of damning evidence - a folk tale in the Canalave Library (Pokémon Diamond and Pearl) literally STATES that humans used to marry Pokémon. This was removed in the English translation. Gamefreak, if you wanted us to fuck Pokémon, just say it.
        
        Conclusively, Pokemon aren't animals. They are intelligent, with empathy and kindness, and should be treated as equals. Denying them the right to have sex with humans removes their freedom, which is racist, and frankly, unamerican.

        Deoxys really is the perfect pokemon

          Deoxys really is the perfect pokemon to have sex with if you think about it. Speed form if you want a quickie💨, attack form if you want something rough 👀, defense form if you into them Muslims, and normal mode for vanilla stuff. Also bet Deoxys is good with those tentacles 😍 , wrapping around you as you finger her alien fuzzy, while her tentacles penetrate you buttocks, while also stroking your Willy Wonka...