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penis copypasta


Is it weird that I fidget with my balls?

    When i'm alone in my room I often fidget with my balls. I have no idea why, at this point I do it without even realizing. Ill just be laying down or sitting at my desk and reach into my pants. As long as I can remember I've always done this, even before my diagnosis.
    
    I've just been worried that for some reason this could be bad or an underlying issue but I don't want to ask my doctor because it's embarrassing obviously
    
    Is it weird that I do this? Do any other ball-havers do this?
    
    EDIT: First of all, thank you guys for your comments it really helped me to find out im not a weirdo and that other people do this. Secondly, to the people concerned that I might accidentally touch my balls in public, I wan't to make it clear that I will NEVER let that happen. In public I am super self conscious and 90% of my thoughts most of the time are about how stupid i look etc. Most of the time Im trying to blend in and not fidget at all so the chances that I would accidentally touch my balls are definitely 0
    
    EDIT 2: The amount of honesty in this comment section has restored my faith in humanity

    My penis

      Ever since I was a wee lad, I noticed my penis was a bit large. I thought it was normal, untill my mom bathed me with my brother and I saw his little wee wee compared to mine, I couldn't help but point at it and mock it. A few months later when I started kindergarden, the teacher inspected our cocks for the monthly cock inspection, and noticed my large dick. I was very young but I could still see he was very envyous of my humongous cock, knowing he will never be as big, he called my mom and told her a doctor should see my penis. The doctor said he had never seen such an amazing specimen of a dong, that was the first moment I saw pride in my mom's eyes. I cherish these memories, as the cock inspection was the pinnacle of any month for me, seeing all the other pathetic little weiners. I loved watching the other kids take quick glances of my cock in fear and shame.
      
      A few years later when I was about 11 years old, my penis has started to become a burden for me. Having a 24.089 inch dick in 6th grade is no joke, I had to come up with creative ideas of where to hide the magnificent beast. Usually I hid it inside the right leg of my pants, kids always thought it was weird how my right leg was so "muscular" compared to my other, which meant I had to workout only my left leg in order to not arouse suspicion. I remember I went home depressed one day, crying to god on why did he curse me with such a shaft. I was tearing my pants with anger, when I started to feel tingly sensation in my penis. I started rubbing it, and suddenly it GREW EVEN LONGER, I was devestated because I thought it was already too large, but the feeling I had when I was rubbing it was too good to stop. I started holding it with both my hands and stroking it, but it was not enough, I could not satisfy my monster with mere hands, so I began using my feet too. The feeling was incredible, god was on my side again. As I was rubbing it faster and faster, I thought of my science teacher. My cock was throbbing, my nipples erect, my eyes wide and open. I was on my bed at the time, and I felt my Johnson about to erupt with tremendous force, I didn't know what to do so I hid under the bed, and then I came. It was like 4th of july. At first the stream was steady, of white cream in about 1 liter per second, then it was chaos. My penis was going up and down dancing with explosions of cum(Only later that day I found out my grandpa died at that moment of a heart attack because the sounds reminded him of bastogne when he was fighting the Germans). After a few second I realized I might drown because my juice covered the whole floor about two inch deep, I quickly slid across pools of cum gasping for air, I stood up and finally my cum gun started to relax. My mom came into the room shocked and disgusted, she yelled at me that I must see a doctor and get my manhood shortend or even removed. We had a fight for about three hours not noticing my grandpa was awfully quiet.
      
      The day after my grandfather's funeral, I came to the doctor's office, and told him my story. After a lengthy cock inspection, he said that I have a rare condition, which makes my cock grow exponentially with each year, width and length. He calculated that my cock would weigh 200 kg when I turn 30, which is about the maximum weight my spine can support, beyond that and it would fracture and I'll die. I asked him if I could remove it, but he said no because I would die of blood loss. He also said I need to do blood transfusions everyday to feed my absolute unit of a scholng the blood it needs. Needless to say I was devestated, my once blessing, became a curse, again.
      
      One day when I was 16, I was in my math class when I heard a terrible noise, it reminded me of the first time I was beating my meat, but it turns out it was just a gunshot. Kids all around me where shouting that there was a school shooter. I immediately got up and ran to the door, carrying my pack with my hands. Suddenly I heard shots very close to my ears, and saw dead bodies on the ground, so I ran into the closest door which was the janitor's room, closed the door and hid under the table making as little noise as possible. Little did I know, my crush was under the same table, hiding there in fear, when she saw me she almost screamed, but I put my hand over her mouth and told her to be quiet. I heard the shooter opening the door slowly and looking for me. I was completely silent, but then I noticed my crush's incredible bajongas, and I felt my cock starting to throb and expand. She seemed to notice, and I could see that she was impressed with my goofy goober. Her facial expression made my ding dong enlarge even more and I could feel my pants starting to tear apart. My shclong abong seemed to send electro-magnetic waves all over the room because the light above us started to flicker with every throb of my cock. The shooter noticed that and walked to our table. I knew I had to do something quickly or me, my crush, and my beaver basher would all die. Then it hit me, and I knew what I had to do. I looked over to my crush, and I started playing with her milkers. At first she was trying to resist, but then she figured out what I was trying to do and played along. My cock grew more and more, and when I felt it about to burst out of my pants. I got up and looked straight at the shooter. He hesitated for a single moment, which cost him his life. My pants exploded as my sexcalibur shot out a single hardened white cum shaped like a 7.62 mm sniper bullet right into the shooter's head. I was about to celebrate but then I noticed the smell of smoke in the air, turns out my massive cock shot not only the shooter, but also a gas pipe that was in the vicinity. Fire was all around us, as I held my crush close, I knew there was no way both of us would get out of there, so there was only one option. "Get in!" I said. "What?" She asked. "Get in! There is no time!" I said and pointed to my foreskin. She climbed inside the pocket between my foreskin and my cock. And I started running, breathing smoke and caughing, kicking doors and running through hallways, longing for fresh air. Finally I got out of the school, and I saw everyone looking at me and my dong. I slowly walked to the benches, and sat down to breath. Then I saw my crush's mother, and she asked me where her daughter is. I got up, and said "I know where she is!". I pulled my foreskin and there she was. I expected to hear claps and cheers, but when I didn't, I looked at my crush and saw she was dead. Turns out she suffocated inside my yogurt hose. The police arrested me, and here I am, with my massive schlong and 15 years in prison.
      
      If your penis is small, do not despair, for at least you did not have to go through what I did. Farewell.

      Why the penis is better than the ballsack

        You fucking idiot cocks are better than balls in every way. And I will show you why cocks are better than balls
        
        Firstly the penis is more iconic with it's long thick stem and the head being an it's head with a design resembling a mushroom which, being one of the first lifeforms on the planet even preceding plants and barely changing over the millions of years it has existed shows that the penis's design is greay but, the penis makes the mushroom's design even better by taking the head of it and making it more aerodynamic which, gives it the ability to bulldoze through everything and everyone. The penis is a sign of masterfully crafted excellence, the ballsack on the other hand is just a bunch of organs haphazardly thrown together into a skin sack.
        
        Secondly the human body spends way more resources on the penis than it ever spends on the ballsack. The human body specially pumps penis full of blood but, the might of the penis's might is so unparalleled that it uses up all of the body's resources if used for long stretches of time. The penis is only activated on a special occasion; the ballsack just hangs around.
        
        Thirdly the penis has many imitators because it's a beautifully crafted device, as they say: "Imitation is the best form of flattery." The ballsack having barely any imitators to speak of is a sign of its inferior design. The mighty penis is the one to start many great businesses and an entire industry not the ballsack.
        
        And finally the feeling of sucking a penis Is a feeling of pure ecstasy, nothing will ever beat the feeling of sucking on a big meaty penis. As soon as the penis hits your mouth it envelopes and overpowers you with its mere presence, lightly twitching in your mouth to show that it needs to be taken care of and that your only responsibility at the moment is to suck on it. The ballsack is a plaything the penis is to be taken seriously.

        Help: my penis is too long.

          My penis is too long copypasta
          My penis is too long. When I measured it just now, it was 40 cm long. According to my estimates, it’s growing at a rate of at least 2 cm per month.
          
          I’m not too sure about its length when fully erect. Thanks to the lack of blood supply to my brain, I tend to faint before becoming fully erect.
          
          Despite its impressive length, my penis is only as wide as one of those Crayolas back in elementary school.
          
          Because of its flexibility from a ridiculous length-to-girth ratio, I am able to wrap it around my right thigh, much like a fire hose. It’s a surprisingly efficient method of penis-storage, though it does make sitting a problem.
          
          Does anyone else have similar problems?

          Did someone say PENIS⁉️⁉️

            Did someone say PENIS⁉️⁉️. Is 😳 that 🤤 your 👉 penis??😫😫. Put that 🍆 in the ass 🍑. Put that 🍆 in the pussy 😻. Put that 🍆 in the ear 👂, wait what⁉️⁉️. Wow 🤯 wow 😮 that thing 🍆 can reach 👌 the floor⁉️😳⁉️. Drool 🤤 drips 💦 from my mouth 👄 as I look 👀 at that beautiful cock 🍆. Eyes 👁👁 come out of my head 👨👨 and expand 🔟 times the normal 🤪🤪. I can’t handle 😫😳😫 a cock 🍆 this big 🙆‍♂️, so thick 🤰, so slick 💦. Heart ❤️ beating 🤜 at 200 bpm 🏃‍♂️ and ass 🍑 widening up 🕳 for that super 💪 schlong 🍆. How ⁉️ can you 👉 carry 🤰 that 🍆 with you??😋. ”Well 💅🏼, I just toss 💪 that junk 🍆over ⏫ my shoulder 💁‍♂️.” Wow 🤤 wow 🤤 wow 🤤 wow 🤤 wow 🤤.

            Every morning I wake up…

              The life of a massive penis haver
              Every morning I wake up and I have to carry my massive penis over my shoulder so it doesn’t drag on the floor, I go to the bathroom and while sitting on the toilet I need to aim my penis in the urinal(they built a different urinal for me) because if I piss in the commod my penis will drop into the water(which is nasty). Every time I go to school I need to make sure I hide it properly so I wear large hoodies and utilize my penis as my belt. It takes me 2 hours to shower just so i can clean my penis properly, everytime I masturbate my cum releases from my penis the day after because the travel distance is so long. When I get an erection, the blood flow to my legs completely stops and I cannot stand or move. They almost cut my penis when I was born thinking it was my umbilical cord. Every girl I’ve had a chance to be with has been scared of me and ran away crying. This is the life of a fellow massive penis haver.