penis copypasta

Dicks are so cute

Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3” hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾） and the most adorable thing ever is when sperm-sama comes out but theyre rlly shy so u have to work hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but when penis-kun and sperm-sama meet and theyre blushing and all like "uwaaa~!" (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ: ･ﾟhehehe~penis-kun is so adorable (●´Д｀●)・

おちんちんって可愛いよね～(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)手に持ってピクピクしてる時とか、ニャーーって！そして、一番可愛いのは、精子様が出そう時なんだけど、恥ずかしいだから、頑張らないとね！(๑-̀ㅁ-́๑)✧でも、おちんちんくんと精子様が出会って、顔を赤くして、うわぁ～～～！！ってなっちゃう。(ノ´ヮ｀)ノ*：

Dicks 🍆 are so 💪 cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when 💯 you 💦 hold one ☝ in 🎮🔚 your 👏 hand and it 💯 starts 🕹 twitching ↕↕ its 😫🌏 like its 😫👇 nuzzling 😊😊 you(/ω＼) 🤖 or 😫💰 when ⏱👌 they 🙎👥 perk up and look at you 😜 like" owo 😺 nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun 🍆 is 🚟🔥 happy 😄🦃 to 🅱 see 🗣👁 me!!（＾ワ＾） 😍💦 and 🍆🏻 the ➡ most 💯 adorable 🌹🌹 thing ⛄ ever 😱😆 is 🏳 when sperm-sama 💦 comes out 🚪😬 but 😈 theyre 🙇♀ rlly shy so u 🔪 have 👏⚠ to 👂 work 🏚♿ hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but 🌸 when 🕙🍑 penis-kun 🍆 and sperm-sama meet and 🏽 theyre ♀ blushing ☺☺ and 👏👆 all like "uwaaa~!" (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ: ･ﾟhehehe~penis-kun is 🅰😬 so adorable 🌹🌹 (●´Д｀●)・

Dicks🍆 are👌😳 so cute🐰 omg😆(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when🙀 you😯 hold🤜 one👆1️⃣ in your🤗 hand🍆👋 and😳😲 it starts😯😮😲 twitching⚡⚡ its😋 like☺️ its nuzzling😘💕 you😩👌(/ω＼)😆😆😆 or👌😳💯 when😲😯 they🍆 perk👆💢 up👆 and look👁️👁️ at👅 you🍆😲 like😏" owo🐰 nya😖😖😖? :3c" hehe😄 ~ penis🍆-kun😎 is happy😊😄 to see👀👅 me!!（＾ワ＾）

Oh😱you🫵🏻are thinking🤔about💭my👉🏼penis🍆huh???

Oh😱you🫵🏻are thinking🤔about💭my👉🏼penis🍆huh??? My massive😃throbbing❤️‍🔥cock🐔? My 🅱️ig ol'🎅🏿fleshy🥩anaconda🐍? My low⬇️ hanging📿third🥉leg🍗? My underwear-stretching🩲😩, ass 🍑 hollowing🍩, bitch-making🏩pocket👖rocket🚀? You🫵🏻mean this👉🏼god🌩tier 🔥hot-to-the-touch🔥 💉vein-popping💪🏼 pornstar-grade🧑‍🏫cock🍌?

Poem of Dick

Life slapped me, I couldn't stand it

I slapped my dick, my dick still stands

Maybe my dick makes a better man than me

Someone stabbed me, I still stood

I stabbed my dick, my dick collapsed

Maybe I make a better dick than my dick

When encountering my crush

Even my dick toughens up

Yet I cower and say nothing

Holding my masturbation cup, I lie to my dick, saying that it's a warm vagina

Standing up, my dick lies to me, saying that it's a warm world

When I'm single, my dick rejoices, as it gets to be caressed

When I have a girfriend, my dick rejoices, because it gets to have a new warm home

Maybe I'm a part of my dick, and not the other way around.

Original Poem in Chinese

生活打了我一巴掌，我没挺住
我给了牛至一巴掌，牛至依旧挺立
或许牛至更比我会适合做人
别人给了我一刀，我挺住了
我给了牛至一刀，牛至却倒下了
或许我比牛至更适合做牛至
我不明白是我身上长了-个牛至还是牛至身上长了个我
碰到喜欢的人
牛至都会硬一硬
而我却不敢吱声
我拿着杯子，骗牛至说这是个温暖的批牛至站起来，骗我说这是个温暖的世界
我没有女朋友，牛至很高兴，因为我可以时常抚摸它
我有了女朋友，牛至也很高兴，因为它可以.有个温暖的家
或许真的是牛牛身上长了我而不是我身上长了个牛牛

I use my cock for home defense.

I use my cock for home defense, just like the founding fathers intended. 4 ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" I say a I grab my phone and lotion. Blow my load all over the first man. He's dead on the spot. I start schlackin it all over the second man, but miss entirely because my cock is smooth bore, and the stray load impregnates the neighbor's wife. I'm forced to rely on the overwatch hentai I have on a table at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho, lads". The incoming tsunami smothers both men in the flood, and the sheer force starts setting off car alarms. Affix a condom and penetrate the last man. He leaves before the police arrive because he needs to recover from the soreness. Just as the founding fathers intended.

The original ‘Own a musket for home defense‘ copypasta

I got a penile implant but I can’t tell anyone why I’m so happy.

I'm a 24 year old guy who because of an accident as a child, I literally broke my penis. I went all my teens not knowing what an erection feels like or what it's like to be able to perform and no one knows that the reason I've been working since I was 14 is because I had a goal in mind: getting that damm implant.

now, having had my first sexual experience ever in my life, I felt this sense of anger just go off my mind. I hated the topic of sex because I knew I was disbanded from enjoying it, now I can get hard so easy and ironically I have a form of switch and kill switch, I just turn it on and off when I want to. It's creepy I know but trust me I feel like ''robocock''

Does it get soft? nope, I can now pound FOREVER and the though if that itself has revived some sense of self worth that I have never felt before, I'm not even scared to talk to girls now because I'm aware that I have a modified penis with perks and attachments.

People ask me why I'm happy now and not all negative and depressed but I can't tell them because it's awkward and people my age wouldn't understand the pain and sacrifice, I just want to enjoy this victory in anonymity.

Lets say💁‍♂️ hypothetically🤔 that dicks🍆 are very cute

Lets say💁‍♂️ hypothetically🤔 that dicks🍆 are very cute😍😽 and lets also say💁‍♂️ for the👉 sake🍶🤪 of the argument🙋‍♂️ that when you😶 hold✊ one☝️ in your hand👋 and it🍆 starts▶️ twitching💓 it would feel🤲 like👍 its nuzzling👃 you😶 or when⏲ they🍆 perk up☝️ and look👀 at you it🍆 would feel😩 as it would say💁‍♂️ something like "owo nya? :3c" which could🤷‍♂️ mean that penis-kun🍆😊 is happy☺ to see me!😀 And any hot-blooded american🔥🇲🇾 can agree🤝 that the most🙌 adorable😽😊 thing ever is when⏲ sperm-sama😍🥛 comes out however😧 in that👉 case they🍆🥛 would be really shy😳 so you😶 would have to work✊👅🍆💦 really hard😖 for it to come out💦💦! But when penis-kun🍆😊 and sperm-sama💦😍 would hypothetically🤔 meet🤝 they🍆💦 would blush😳😖 and their moans☺😫 would sound👂 something like "uwaaa~!"☺😍 And in that👉 case we👬 could agree🤝 that penis-kun🍆 is adorable.😊😊😊

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