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Morbius


My son refuses to watch Morbius for the 34 time with me

    I tried to take him with me to the theater last night thinking he will get back to his senses, but he yelled saying that he is bored.
    
    He even said it wasn’t as good as Spiderman (and later clarified “it was slightly better than the batman tho”)
    
    I am heartbroken and lost. Help.
    
    Edit: I disowned him.
    
    Edit: my son is missing for the past few days. Please help.
    
    Edit: the police at my door, i think im getting arrested.
    
    Edit: do you guys know a cheap lawyer who can reduce my sentence for murder? I need help

    All Morbius movies

      Morbius (2022) Morbius 2: MoreBius (2024) Morbius 3 (2024) Morbius vs Blade (2025) Morbius vs the Marvel Cinematic Universe (2027) (morbius wins) Morbius vs the DC Extended Universe (2028) (morbius wins) Morbius 7: Morbius kills god (2029) Morbius 8: The Reckoning (2029) Morbius 9 (2030) Morbius X (2032) Morbius: The Series (2032-2189) Morbius XI: Morbin Time (2034) Morbius 12: Resurrection (2034) Morbius the Thirteenth (2036) Morbiverse of Madness (2037) Morbius 15: Morbius (2037) Morbius vs Jared Leto (2038) Morbius vs Kong (2038) Morbius vs Morbius (2039) Morbius 19 (2040) Morbius: 20th (Century) Morbius (2040) 21 Morbiuses (2041) Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 1 (2041) Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 2 (2042)Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 3 (2043) Morbius 25: Morbidly Morbius (2043) Morbius vs Blade II (2044) Morbinity War (2045) Morbgame (2046) Morbius 29 (2047) Morbius vs Jared Leto II (2047) Son of Morbius (2048) Morbius 2049 (2049) The Morbengers (2050) Morb Man and the Morbius (2050) Captain Morbius (2050) Morbius 36 (2051) Morbius 37: The Morbtacular Morbius (2052) Morbius and Venom (2053) Morbius vs Venom (2053) Morbius Kills Venom (2053) Morbception (2054) Morbius 43: Morbius Gaming (2054) Morbius 44: Morbiuses Eleven (2055) Morbius: A New Morb (2056) Morbius: The Morbpire Strikes Back (2056) Morbius: Return of the Morbi (2057) Morbius 48 (2058) Morbius: Morbius (2058) Morbius 50 (2059) Morbius: The Phantom Morbius (2060) Morbius: Attack of the Morbs (2061) Morbius: Revenge of the Morb (2061) Morbius 54: Morbzilla (2062) Morbius: Little House on the Morbrie (2063) Morbius: The Morb Awakens (2064) Morbius: The Last Morb (2064) Morbius: The Rise of Morbius (2065) Morbius: Beyond (2066) Morbius: Into Morbness (2067) Morbius 62 (2068) Morbius and the Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2069) Fantastic Morbius (2070) The Morbman (2070) The Morbius (2071) Breaking Morbius (2071) Better Call Morbius (2071)
      Morbius
      
      Morbius 2: More Bius
      
      Morbius 3: Most Bius
      
      Morbius 4: Fourbius
      
      Morbius 5: Metamorbphosis
      
      Morbius 6: The Morbening
      
      Morbius 7: Morb of a New Age
      
      Morbius 8: Morbpocalypse
      
      Morbius 9: Morbageddon
      
      Morbius 10: Remorbed
      
      Morbius 11: Global Morbing
      
      Morbius 12: No Time to Morb
      
      Morbius 13: Back for Morb
      
      Morbius 14: Morb Fast Morb Furious
      
      Morbius 15: Pandemorbium
      
      Morbius 16: How I Met Your Morb
      
      Morbius 17: Cybermorb 2077
      
      Morbius 18: Morb Runner 2049
      
      Morbius 19: Gallipomorb
      
      Morbius 20: Hypermorb
      
      Morbius 21: Transmorbers
      
      Morbius 22: Michael Morbius and the Seven Morbs
      
      Morbius 23: Amorbus
      
      Morbius 24: Hunger Morbs - Morbingjay
      
      Morbius 25: Morby Python and the Morby Grail
      
      Morbius 26: Morb of Duty 4 - Modern Morbfare
      
      Morbius 27: The Morb of Wall Street

      Can You Morbfeel My Morbheart by Morbring me the morbrizon

        Can you morbfeel the morbilence?😢 Can you morbsee the morbark?😢 Can you morbix the morbken?😢 CAN YOU MORBFEEL MY MORBHEART????😢 Can you morb the morbless?😢 Well, I'm morbegging on my morbnees!!!😢 Can you morb my morbtard soul?😢 WILL YOU MORB FOR ME??? I'm sorry, morbthers, so morbrry morbver.😢 Morbgive me morbther, I morb you mother.😢 Can you morbfeel the morbilence?😢 Can you morbsee the morbark?😢 Can you morbix the morbken?😢 CAN YOU MORBFEEL MY MORBHEART????😢 I'm morbcared to get morbloser,😢 And i morb being morblone.😢 I morb for that morbling,😢 TO NOT MORB AT ALL!😢 The morber I morbget,😢 The morbwer I'll morbsink.😢 I cant morbrown my morbmons,😢 Morbthey know how to morb.😢 I'm morbcared to get morbloser,😢 And i morb being morblone.😢 I morb for that morbling,😢 TO NOT MORB AT ALL!😢 The morber I morbget,😢 The morbwer I'll morbsink.😢 I cant morbrown my morbmons,😢 Morbthey know how to morb.😢 I'm morbcared to get morbloser,😢 And i morb being morblone.😢 I morb for that morbling,😢 TO NOT MORB AT ALL!😢 The morber I morbget,😢 The morbwer I'll morbsink.😢 I cant morbrown my morbmons,😢 Morbthey know how to morb.😢 Can you morbfeel the morbilence?😢 Can you morbsee the morbark?😢 Can you morbix the morbken?😢 CAN YOU MORBFEEL MY MORBHEART????😢

        Rick and Morty copypasta but it’s Morbius

          To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Morbius. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Morbius’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Vampire literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Morbius truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Morbius’s existential catchphrase "I am Morbius," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Daniel Espinosa’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
          
          And yes, by the way, i DO have a Morbius tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 morbIQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

          Benefits of watching morbius daily:

            Benefits of watching morbius daily:
            
            Day 1 - You watch morbius. Instantly love it.
            
            Day 5 - Improved motivation and productivity. You feel as a whole a stronger human being
            
            Day 10 - you have energy whenever you want and can sleep as long or short as you need to, people start getting jealous
            
            Day 30 - Greater confidence and self-esteem. Mental clarity. Youre able to perfectly recite the script
            
            Day 60 - Increased muscle mass, bone density, and cardiovascular capacity. Testosterone through the roof. Women start talking
            
            Day 120 - Higher sperm count. Increased erection strength and duration. You’ve now memorised the choreography of the entire movie, you can execute the stunts and movements performed to a tee
            
            Day 365 - Your voice deepens, and your skull becomes more chad-like. Increased erection girth and length.
            
            Day 730 - Faster reaction time. 10 additional IQ points.
            
            Day 1500 - Starbucks baristas start writing their numbers on your receipts. Your ex wants to get back together. You feel tempted but ultimately turn her down. You need more time to watch morbius.
            
            Day 3000 - You can't keep up with all your tinder matches. Strange women begin hitting on you in public. You worry about your female boss. Fortunately, she keeps it professional.
            
            Day 6000 - Ex shows up at your door crying and begging you to take her back. You don't even make eye contact—just call the police right away. Your female boss quits. She can't take it anymore and fears what she might do to you if she stays.
            
            Day 12000 - Every swipe on tinder is a match. Even girls you swipe left get matched with you somehow. Romantic messages fill up your inbox every day—all 15gb of it—you upgrade your Gmail account to premium.
            
            Day 30000 - You don't have to work anymore. Matt Sazama Burk Sharpless signs over half of his morbius royalties to you in a grand gesture of love. You tell him you love and appreciate all the good change hes bought to your life. He weeps quietly, but with a smile.
            
            Day 60000 - Scientists propose that attraction to you be classified as its own sexual orientation, which will account for 97.5 percent of the world's population. Paradoxically, you no longer feel any sexual desire. You have achieved a higher consciousness and now love every human-being equally.
            
            Day 100,000 – Your IQ increases by several morbillion. You come up with a workable model of quantum gravity in a rainy Sunday afternoon. Elon Musk steps down from SpaceX to work for you. You decide to put space exploration on hold to focus on achieving clean energy through nuclear fusion.
            
            Day 200,000 - You've solved the problem of nuclear fusion. You also solved the problems of climate change, poverty, crime, and racism. You have been elected the very first President of the World.
            
            Day 500,000 - you’ve watched morbius half a million times. You can psychically project the entire movie into whoever's mind you please. You have achieved everything, understood everything, and solved every problem faced by humanity. All that needs to be done has been done. There's nothing left to do.
            
            You give your fellow humans one last look—they're still not watching morbius, trapped in their primitive way—but you don't judge. The path of Morbius was never meant for the ordinary men.
            
            "Watch morbius. But if you must, use lube." Those were your parting words.
            
            Now, released from all shackles of the mundane, and purified of all imperfections, your body ephemeralizes, as your ever-illuminated consciousness ascends into another dimension. It's morbin' time