Messi

Messi ruined my sex life

I was obsessed by FIFA 13 and had played Barcelona during seasons. I had faced someone and lost the game, although I had 100 shots on goal. The guy had only one. I got so mad.

The same night I had sex with a girl. While she was on top of me, I'm having pictures in my head of Messi missing an open goal, and I react by fucking her harder, in the hope of having those pictures disappear. I just can't let go of that game. The images return, and I literally whisper "fucking bitch, do your job" and spanks her.. I didn't whisper loudly but it was enough for her to hear it..

She stopped and got super mad. I tried to explain that it was Messis fault and that my 3-4-1-2 formation allows him a lot of creative freedom and that he always scores.. She understood nothing and was still mad. I had to go down on her for 30 minutes to make her happy. That's when I knew that it was a mistake to play FIFA before fucking.

Thanks a lot Messi.

⠀⠠⠴⠶⠾⠿⠿⠿⢶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢿⣿⣆⠐⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠿⠆⠹⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠐⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⡆⢹⡿⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣷⣤⣉⣠⣾⣷⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠻⢧⣘⡷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⣉⠛⠿⣷⣦⣌⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣠⠘⠀⠀⢹⣿⣶⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢺⣿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Ankara Messi

jakakokalareta marshalli asistencia marshalli meska paramueta para messi messi messi messi messi messi messi messi i menci messi ankara messi ankara messi ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI UENA MESSI ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI

A N K A R A M E S S I

GOLGOL GOLGOL GOL !!! GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL G O L !!!!! GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL G O L ! ! !

INKA IPLA INKA IPLA !!! UOBOBUNGIMACCIMA BROBOUBUIAIMAŹIMA BROUEIŻMAIŻŚOOOOO BROUEIŹMAI INKA IPLA WENEZUAUA INKA IPLA UENEZUAUA MESSI MESSI MESSI PORA MESSI MESSI MESS PORA MESS PORA GOL MESS PORA GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL MESS PORA GOL MESS GOL MESS GOL MESS DOR POL MEZ POL MEZ IANKARA MESSI MESSI MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I TOTTI TOTTI TOTTI TOTTI TOTTI MESSI TOTTI MESSI TOT ITOTTI TOTTI TOTTI MESS

TOTTI MESS !

ALETURA ZAMEZAMES

INKA IPLA AASPAKAKULAE Inka Ipla ALKAEFATTA MESSI PARKA KOMPARERA MARADONA PARKA QUE GOL SASEMLALANLUSIA SI , SI , SI !!! UIJANTASI ASPATAGULAR

ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI GOL GOL GOL GOL

Messi, Messi, Messi, Messi, Messi, Messi, Messi, Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Ankara Messi, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal

Another variationClose

jakakokalareta marshalli
asistencia marshalli
meska paramueta
para messi messi messi messi messi messi messi messi
i menci messi
ankara messi ankara messi
ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI
UENA MESSI
ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI
ANKARA MESSI ANKARA MESSI

A N K A R A M E S S I

GOLGOL GOLGOL  GOL !!!
GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL  G O L !!!!!
GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL GOLGOL G   O   L   !   !   !

INKA IPLA INKA IPLA !!!
UOBOBUNGIMACCIMA
BROBOUBUIAIMAŹIMA
BROUEIŻMAIŻŚOOOOO
BROUEIŹMAI
INKA IPLA WENEZUAUA
INKA IPLA UENEZUAUA
MESSI MESSI MESSI
PORA MESSI MESSI MESS
PORA MESS PORA GOL MESS
PORA GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL MESS
PORA GOL MESS GOL MESS GOL MESS 
DOR POL MEZ POL MEZ
IANKARA MESSI MESSI MESS
I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS I MESS 
I MESS I MESS I MESS 
I MESS I MESS 
I TOTTI TOTTI TOTTI TOTTI TOTTI MESSI TOTTI MESSI TOT
ITOTTI TOTTI TOTTI MESS

TOTTI MESS !

ALETURA ZAMEZAMES

INKA IPLA
AASPAKAKULAE
Inka Ipla
ALKAEFATTA MESSI
PARKA KOMPARERA MARADONA
PARKA QUE GOL
SASEMLALANLUSIA 
SI , SI , SI !!!
UIJANTASI 
ASPATAGULAR

Folks have hated Cristiano since 2003

Folks have hated Cristiano since 2003. It's nothing new.

Hyper comodified modernity has bred a global crisis of socially ingrained low self esteem, so we are programmed to envy and despise those who don't hate themselves; those who are confident, good looking, and seem to have it all.

I'm guilty of this too. I hated the guy until ~2014. The sexual assault is fucked up and he should be maligned for that, but if we're being honest with ourselves, most of you didn't start disliking him when that broke out - that just gave you a convenient excuse to continue feeling what they were already feeling.

So I'm here to ruffle feathers and state verbatim what I believe -

CR7 is greater than that mild mannered pushover Argentine with a soft bodied in game mentality.

I just have one things on my mind. That’s cristiano Ronaldo.

I just have one things on my mind. That's cristiano Ronaldo. I'm doing this video to make believe that how I'm a big fan of Cristiano Ronaldo. Cristiano Ronaldo! Cristiano Ronaldo! Cristtiiaannooo Ronaallddooo! He is main on planet. He is the main. Best player ever seen. Look at the Messi's. Last three years knockout estage from the quarter finals of the champions league. Real Maded Ronaldo. Alone taking the team to the finals again and again and setting the record Messi fans, o refree, o VAR. Bottler fans. You can't do anything and say.. it's sameful to talk with you.. broo!

Christiano Ronaldo this year

Dear Cristiano,

Cristiano Ronaldo this year:

🏆 Italian Cup.

🏆 Italian Super Cup.

⚽️ Top scorer of the Euro Cup.

⚽️ Top scorer of the Italian Championship.

⚽️ Top scorer for Juventus in the 2020/21 season.

⚽️ Top scorer for Manchester United in the 2021/22 season.

🥇 Became the top scorer in football history in official goals.

🥇 Became the greatest scorer in the history of all teams in the world.

🥇 Became the greatest scorer and greatest assistant in the history of the Euro Cup.

*43 goals in the year, 6 goals in 5 games in this Champions League, all decisive and a guy who, regardless of age, continues to work miracles and is the guy who most impresses the world most often.

They still put the guy in 6th… Do you really think that 5 guys did more than him in the year? Never.

He could fight for this award calmly and the fight would be good with Lewandowski who in individual numbers was incredible and Bayern had a better season than Juventus and has been having a calmer season than United, but at the national selection level. example Cristiano was much better.

And who does the prize go to? For Messi, who only won the Copa del Rey by Barcelona, he hasn't scored a goal against Real Madrid since when Cristiano left, disappeared in the big games of the season, won the Copa America that was supposed to be every 4 years and do practically every year. He didn't score in the final or the semifinal. And he's been having a weak season with PSG individually.

For Cristiano to win this prize he has to be 300% unquestionable. It's no use scoring the most beautiful bike of the year, being champion of everything by club, top scorer of everything and scoring a hat-trick in the World Cup, they still provide a way to take the prize from him.

With Messi, it's the other way around. He can do a low-key season, way below, they'll always find a way to favor him and give him the prize.

Theft. Dirt. Shame. Simply regrettable.

Who saw, saw. Anyone with enough intelligence knows who the real deserving ones are.

Receiving awards without earning it is false happiness, without pride.

Regardless of these awards, the CR7 will always be the best in history!

Factos 👍👀