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Honkai Star Rail


I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of HTB.

    Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed into Harmony Trailblazer (HTB) from Honkai Star Rail.

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of HTB. I try to play Luka. My HTB deals more damage. I try to play Xueyi. My HTB deals more damage. I try to play Asta. My HTB deals more damage. I want to play Firefly. Her best team has HTB. I want to play Ruan Mei, Gallagher. They both want HTB.

HTB grabs me by the throat. I farm for him. I cook for him. I give him Memories of the Past. He isn't satisfied. I pull Flowing Nightglow. "I don't need this much energy" he tells me. "Give me more skill points." He grabs Firefly and forces her to throw herself on enemies. "You just need to break the enemies more. I can buff more with Past Self in Mirror."

I can't pull for Past Self in Mirror, I don't have enough stellar jades. HTB grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs Clockie. He says "Clockie, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, super break damage. What a cruel world.

gets ran over by the astral express

    ATTENTION CITIZEN! (Interastral Peace Corporation edition)

      The meme is based on the CCP’s ‘ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!‘ copypasta but made into IPC from Honkai Star Rail.

      

ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!

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ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!

This is the Interastral Peace Corporation 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 因此，您的个人资料中的 11115 ( -11115 Stellar Jades) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you do not hesitate, more Stellar Jades ( -11115 Stellar Jades )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies (WAIFUS). (由人民供应部重新分配 IPC) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the sigonia. 如果您毫不犹豫，更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折，从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。

为党争光! Glory to the IPC!!!! PAY YOUR TAXES!!!!!!!!!

      I was on Astral Express when I saw this

        Official Honkai Star Rail version of the “NSFW while I was on the train” copypasta.

        Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the Astral Express and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what in the Akivili” and “call the conductor”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of Nameless masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

        I HATE Gepard.

          Source
          I HATE Gepard. He is so useless, I don't understand why anyone would like him by choice. All he is is an attractive, sweet, caring, sexy, sweaty muscular hot jock-type that reminds me all too much of the feelings I used to get from watching the football team in high school. How could anyone appreciate him when all he does is bring a big shield? I was able to clear Simulated Universe World 1 with NO shielder, and people tell me that I need a defensive unit? Yes I died to World 1 over 20 times, but I wasn't trying to be fair. Why would I need a shielder if my team of Sampo/Hook/Dan Heng/Tingyun is clearly one of the BEST teams in the game? I don't have skill issue and I don't like hot men. I especially don't like hot sexy men like Gepard, who want to do nothing but protect me. I don't need protection and I certainly DONT need a hot sexy man like Gepard on my roster. What do people even see in him? A kind, compassionate, and caring individual who looks after his family and city? How could anyone actually be ok with getting Gepard off of their Departure Warp? It's simply logical that NOONE should appreciate Gepard. It's such a ludicrous idea that anyone would want Gepard's muscular arms wrapped around them while they cuddle in bed at night after a wonderful night out in Belegog. What a silly concept

          I want to get fucked by Topaz from the hit game Honkai: Star Rail.

            Topaz is just perfect. Every single thing about her is admirable. Her cute and small face, her brilliant eyes that resemble gems, just like her name, her short and beautiful silvery and silky hair, adorned by taints of red that fit just so perfectly, her small hairpiece that makes it so her hair stays perfectly tidied... What is there not to love? Plus, her attitude is just lovable. How funny she is, the way she speaks and conveys all emotions, how she always seems to be having fun...

And I haven't talked about her body. It's just impeccably perfect. Her big and round ass that I'd want to have on my face 24/7, the perfectly sized breasts that can be somewhat seen from her outfit, her slim and curvy shape that evokes that sense of sensuality... Everything just fits perfectly. And her thighs? OH MY FUCKING GOD. DON'T GET ME STARTED. THE MOLE. AND THE STRAP. OH MY FUCKING GODNESS. As if her thighs weren't perfect enough. So plumpy and meaty, I just want to have them on me at all times. I want to bury my head in there and die from asphyxiation, just so that I get to have those thighs close to me. I'd constantly stare at the mole and get jealous that I'm not it or that strap. Just look at her thighs and tell me that the strap isn't working its ass off to hold her massive thighs.

And now, the best part. Her cock. Her big meaty cock. I want to chocke on it while she wraps her legs around my head, consequently being crushed by her thighs. I want to simply please her and be everything to her. I'll be her boyfriend, her husband, her sex slave, her co-worker, her assistant... I'll do everything. And then, when she gets tired and gives me a few seconds of rest, I'll ask her to cuddle with me. I'll rest with her body close to mine, and slowly close my eyes. She'll then start relentlessly fucking me while I sleep, and I'll instantly wake up, only to feel her cock constantly thrusting inside me while she fills me with her seed.

            I’m sick of Ruan Mei

              Based on the Xiangling copypasta from Genshin Impact.

              I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Ruan Mei. I try to play Tingyun. My Ruan Mei provides more damage. I try to play pela. My Ruan Mei provides more damage. I try to play Bronya. My Ruan Mei provides more damage. I want to play Jingliu. Her best team has Ruan Mei. I want to play Kafka, Topaz. They both want Ruan Mei.

She grabs me by the throat. I babysit creations for her. I kill an emanator for her. I give her S5 memories of the past. She isn't satisfied. I pull Past self in mirror for her. "I don't need this effect if my ult will still take 4 turns" She tells me. "Give me any 5% err planar ornament set." She grabs my sustain and forces them to receive every point of damage from enemies. "You just need an err rope. I can do a 3 turn ult rotation without external energy sources."

“Pull e1” she says. I can't pull e1, I don't have enough Stellar jades. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her Ruan. She says "Sound lingers." There is no hint of sadness in its eyes. Nothing but pure, 68% damage boost, 50% weakness break efficiency and 25% res pen. What a cruel world.