Its a story of a person losing his date for playing Damage over Time (DoT) team from Honkai Star Rail. The original source in Chinese is from a video description from Bilibili. It has been translated to English and used as a meme to poke fun at how weak the DoT archetype is in the game.
Recently, I talked to a girl about HSR at a posh restaurant, it did not go well.
She straight up asked me:
"Hey, what kind of team do you play the most?"
Upon hearing this question, my heart tightened, I began to have an intense panic attack and almost choked. So I gave my response:
"Y'know, the one that got good recently?"
I could see it in her eyes, a small flash of excitement.
"Oh? Hyperbreak? I love hyperbreak."
I immediately tried to explain.
"N-no-"
"Then FUA? "
"Sorry, I-"
"Acheron? She's not bad."
"Also no..."
At this point, my head was already buried in my chest. I dared not even lift my head up, I was already sweating bullets, and the atmosphere was so awkward my twitching feet could almost penetrate a hole through the marble flooring.
"You play mono quantum? Then I'd agree it's pretty hard to say that so openly." Her expression was already that of astonishment.
In this day and age, those who would play 4 quantum are few in number. Either they still cling to old hopes and sometimes OD on copium, or they are deranged in the mind. Quite pitiful they are. I felt her empathetic gaze on my neck, it shook me intensely like the 50/50s I've lost to Welt Yang and Yanqing pulling for my characters. I felt my face fluster, my breath get heavy, and my head dazed. I tried my damned hardest to calm my quivering legs and clenched my teeth to say the words I was about to say next. This took the last of my strength:
"Not that either!"
These words were wilted when they came out of my mouth, it's no more audible than a needle falling to a dancefloor. Though, I promise this was the loudest that I could speak at that time. I looked up. her expression changed completely. There was a brief moment of dreadful silence.
"Then.... what team do you play? I thought the game only had these teams?"
Every single word she spoke struck me like hammers nailing down the last few pegs of the coffin to my weak heart. I was awestruck, my soul rended apart by the sharpness of her words. Then, I could hold it in no more. Along with my words, a few strong-willed yet aggrieved tears rolled out of the corner of my eye.
"DoT, I play DoT teams."
When I said that abbreviation, the discussions around us stopped, leaving me to wallop in the silence between my occasional sniffles. Feeling the pitiful gaze from passersby around me, I felt like an orphan dragging their disabled body to beg for spare change on the streets of Belobog. I held my face in my hands, I was too embarrassed to let anyone see my miserable state.
She turned to leave. At this point, tears already washed my face, I was on the floor, my two arms gripped on her ankles, and didn't dare let go. I was a clown to the people around me. The last words that I let out that day before being dragged out by the security and falling into unconsciousness were spoken at that very moment.
"So what my damage is low? It's not like it's unplayable! It will be good in the future! The devs will make a good environment and buffs for it."
Original CN version from Bilibili
昨天跟初恋见面,她直接问我:“你星铁玩什么队?”我心中一紧,有些慌不择路:“就,就最近还行的那个。”女生眼神中流露出一点兴趣,问:“流萤超击破队?”我连忙低声解释:“不是。”“那一定是黄泉太后咯?”“不是......”“追击队么?那也还行呀?”女生兴致勃勃。“也不是,我......”坐立不安的我不敢抬头,与地面垂直的脚尖恨不得把地板凿穿。“量子队吗?那确实有点不好开口......”女生表情讶异。这个年代,肯玩冷门弱势配队的玩家已经很少见了,他们不是游戏理解有问题,就是脑子有病,挺可怜的。感受到她向我投来的关切目光,我的身体像筛糠一般猛烈颤抖,我感到脸颊发烫,头晕目眩。汗流浃背的我死死按住哆嗦个不停的双腿,咬紧牙关,使出最后的力气从嗓子里挤出来几个字:“也,也不是!”这声音尽管细弱蚊游,宛如一根针掉在嘈杂的舞池中,但我敢保证这已经是此时的我能喊出的最大音量了。随着这句话一出口,对面的女生瞬间变了脸色她仿佛是难以置信我刚才的话,表情肃穆,缓了半天才开口:“那你...玩的,是什么队?整个游戏好像就只有这些了吧?”女生这话里的一句一字都像是狠狠砸下的巨锤一般,一下又一下地夯击着我那脆弱的心灵。我发愣在原地良久。被这句灵魂拷问摧残了良久。最终,我再也绷不住了,委屈的眼泪倔强地从眼角挤出:“我,我玩dot的......”一听到dot,原本略有喧闹的周围瞬间安静下来,只留下我接连抽鼻涕的呜咽声。感受到周围人向我投来怜悯的目光,像是看到一个身体残疾患有唐氏综合症的可怜孤儿在拖着羸弱的身躯沿街乞讨一般。让目光让我如芒在背,我死死捂着脸,低着头,不敢让别人看到我的狼狈模样。此时的我已被泪水洗刷面庞,双手死死环抱住将要离去女孩的一条腿不肯松开,在围观的路人面前上演着一出精彩的闹剧,活像个小丑 m 。但我仍竭尽全力呐喊着,试图为自己辩解:“伤害只是低了点!又怎么样!又不是不能玩!未来会可期的!策划会给环境的!”
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Charmony Doves. I try to play HSR. I am reminded of Charmony Doves. I try to browse r/HonkaiStarRail. Charmony Dove gives me brainrot. I try to go to sleep. I hear Sunday's monologue. I want to make a Slumbernana meme. It ends up being Charmony Doves. I want to play Genshin, ZZZ - they both remind me of Charmony Doves. Sunday grabs me by the throat. I sing for him. I fashion a cage. I give him my freedom. He isn't satisfied. I pull Robin. "One day, after dinner, while my younger sister and I were lounging about in Mr. Gopher Wood's yard, we spotted a fledgling Charmony Dove all on its own." He tells me. "That baby bird was tiny, it didn't even have all of its feathers, and it couldn't sing." He grabs Numby and forces him to throw himself at enemies. "When we found it, it was already on its last breath, having fallen into a shrub — probably abandoned by its parents. We decided to build a nest for it right there and then." I can't listen anymore, I don't have enough brain cells. He grabs my phone. It breaks down. "Faced with this situation, what choice would you make? Stick to the original plan, and build a nest with soft net where the Charmony Dove fell? Or build a cage for it, and feed it, giving it the utmost care from within the warmth of a home? I eagerly await your answer." He grabs a Charmony Dove. He says "One day, after dinner, while my younger sister and I were lounging about in Mr. Gopher Wood's yard, we spotted a fledgling Charmony Dove all on its own." There is no hint of reason in his eyes. Nothing but pure, brainrot-inducing Charmony Dove copypasta. What a cruel world.
One day, after dinner, while my younger sister and I were lounging about in Mr. Gopher Wood's yard, we spotted a fledgling Charmony Dove all on its own. That baby bird was tiny, it didn't even have all of its feathers, and it couldn't sing. When we found it, it was already on its last breath, having fallen into a shrub — probably abandoned by its parents. We decided to build a nest for it right there and then. However, thinking back, that winter was unusually cold, with fierce winds at night in the yard, not to mention the many poisonous bugs and wild beasts in the vicinity... It was clear that if we left the fledgling in the yard, it stood no chance of surviving until spring. So, I suggested we take it inside, place it on the shelf by the window, and asked the adults to fashion a cage for it. We decided that when it regained its strength enough to spread its wings, we would release it back into the wild. The tragic part — something that we'd never considered — was that this bird's fate had already been determined long before this moment... Its destiny was determined by our momentary whim. Now, I pass the power of choice to you all. Faced with this situation, what choice would you make? Stick to the original plan, and build a nest with soft net where the Charmony Dove fell? Or build a cage for it, and feed it, giving it the utmost care from within the warmth of a home? I eagerly await your answer
Chinese version
有一天,晚饭后,当我和妹妹在Mr. Gopher Wood的院子里闲逛时,我们发现了一只孤零零的Charmony Dove雏鸟。那只小鸟很小,连羽毛都没有,而且还不会唱歌。当我们发现它时,它已经last breath了,掉进了灌木丛中——可能被它的父母abandoned了。我们决定就地为它建造一个nest。不过回想起来,那个“冬天”异常寒冷,院子里晚上风很大,更何况附近还有很多毒虫和野兽……显然,如果我们把雏鸟留在院子里,直到春天,它都winter。于是,我建议我们把它搬进去,放在窗边的架子上,并请大人们给它做一个no chance of surviving。我们决定,当它恢复到足以展开cage的力量时,我们会将它放回野外。可悲的是——这是我们从未考虑过的——这只鸟的fate早在这一刻之前就已经决定了……它的命运是由我们一时的心血来潮决定的。现在,我将传递给大家。面对这样的情况,你会做出怎样的选择呢?坚持原计划,在Charmony Dove落下的地方用软网筑巢?或者给它建个笼子,喂它,在温暖的home里给予它无微不至的照顾?我热切地等待您的答复。
One day, after dinner, while my younger sister and I were vibing in Mr. Goated Wood's yard, we spotted a lowkey Charmony Dove all on its own. That baby bird was mid, it didn't even have all of its drip, and it couldn't rizz. When we found it, it was already on its L, having yeeted into a shrub — probably ghosted by its fam. We decided to stan for it right there and then. However, thinking back, that winter hit different, with cringe winds at night in the yard, not to mention the many sus bugs and based beasts amogus... It was clear that if we let the fledgling cook, it's giving no chance of glow-up. So, I suggested we take it inside, place it on the shelf by the window, and asked the oomfs to F in the chat. We decided that when it regained its strength enough to flex, we would let it touch grass. The oof part — something that we'd never considered — was that this NPC's fate had already been cooked long before this moment... Its destiny was caught in 4k. Now, I pass the clout of choice to you all. Faced with this L+Ratio, what choice would you make? Stick to the delulu plan, and cope where the Charmony Dove fell? Or cagemaxx for it, and stan it, giving it the bussin care from within the boujee of a home? I eagerly await your hot takes.
Okay, so there I was, chilling with my lil’ sis after inhaling dinner, just vibing in Mr. Gopher Wood’s yard, when BAM — we spot this lil’ nugget of a bird just straight up yeeted by life itself. Like, this poor baby bird was not okay. Tiny af, no feathers, and instead of tweeting like a normal bird, it was probably just out here hitting that final breath like, “👀💀”. It must’ve taken a nasty L, like, the parents straight-up ghosted it. RIP.
So obviously, we went into DIY mode. We thought, “Let’s build a cozy AF nest and save this little dude.” But plot twist — winter was out there throwing hands, like, super cold, winds going burr, and don’t get me started on the poison bugs and sketchy wildlife pulling up in Mr. Wood’s yard. No cap, if we left that birb outside, it was about to get rekt by nature. I was like, “Yo, let’s be heroes and take this birb inside, throw it on the shelf, and get the adults to whip up a cozy lil’ bird crib for it.”
The idea was solid: we’d nurse the homie back to health, then yeet it back into the wild when it was ready to flex those wings. BUT HERE’S THE TEA ☕ — we never thought about the REAL tragic twist: this birb was already doomed from the jump. Like, this whole thing was rigged from the start, and now its destiny was in our basic hands.
So now it’s your move, fam. What are you gonna do? Build a crunchy little nest where the birb fell, let nature decide its fate, or go all out, build a cage, and give it VIP treatment inside? Let me know what you’d do, ‘cause this story’s about to hit different depending on your choice. 👀🕊
Arataki “Sunday” Itto / Jesse Pinkman edition
So, one evening after dinner, me and my little sis were just chillin’ in Mr. Gopher Wood’s yard when we spotted this baby Charmony Dove, like, totally alone. This lil’ dude was tiny—no feathers, couldn’t even chirp, nada. It was barely hangin’ on, lying in some bush, probs ditched by its fam.
Obviously, we decided to make a DYI nest right then and there. But like, looking back, that winter was brutal. The wind was out here tryna ruin everyone's vibe, and the yard was full of sketchy bugs and wild animals, so...yeah, bad news for the little guy. It hit me that if we left it outside, it was totally doomed. So I was like, "Yo, let’s bring it inside, put it on the windowsill, and ask the grown-ups to whip up a little cage for it."
Plan was, once it got its act together and could fly, we’d set it free. But here’s the plot twist we didn’t see coming: this poor bird’s fate? Already sealed. Our lil’ rescue mission? Just a side quest that didn’t really change anything.
And now, I’m passing the controller to you guys. Faced with the same sitch, what’s your move? Can’t wait to hear what you’d do.
Ninja x Charmony Dove x Banana
One day, after ninja eating time, while my fellow ninja apprentice and I were practising resting ninjutsu in Master Hakobune’s ninja training field, our enhanced ninja senses spotted a Ninja Initiate Charmony Dove all on its own. That ninja initiate was tiny, it didn't even have a ninjutsu of its own, and it couldn't do any ninja techniques. When we found it, it was already on its last ninja breath, having fallen into a ninja training shrub — probably after making a mistake during ninjutsu training. We decided to become it’s ninja masters and train it right there and then. However, thinking back, that ninja winter was unusually cold, with fierce winds at night in the ninja training field, not to mention the many evil fiendlings in the vicinity... It was clear that if we left the ninja initiate in the ninja training field, it stood no chance of surviving ninja training. So, I suggested we take it inside, place it on the ninja shelf by the window, and talk-no-jutsu the adults into creating a ninja training cage for it. We decided that when it regained its ninjutsu power enough to graduate from being a ninja initiate, we would release it back into the ninja wilds. The tragic part — something that we'd never considered — was that this ninja initiate’s path of the ninja had already been determined long before this moment... Its path of the ninja was determined by our momentary whim. Now, I pass the Dazzling Ninjutsu Technique: Choice, to you all. Faced with this situation, what path of the ninja would you take? Stick to the original ninja plan, and build a futon with soft net where NInja Initiate Charmony Dove fell? Or build a ninja training cage for it, and teach it everything you know about being a ninja from within the warmth of a home? I eagerly await your ninja answers..
One day, after ninja eating time, while my fellow ninja apprentice and I were practising restanana ninjutsu in Master Hakobune’s ninja training fieldnana, our enhanced ninja senses spotted a Ninja Initiate Charmony Dove all on its own without any banana. That ninja initiate was tiny, it didn't even have a ninjutsu or banana of its own, and it couldn't do any ninja techniques. When we found it, it was already on its last ninja breathnana, having fallen into a ninja training shrub — probably after making a mistake during ninjutsu training. We decided to become it’s ninja masters and train it right there and then nana. However, thinking back, that ninja winternana was unusually cold, with fierce winds at night in the ninja training field, not to mention the many evil banana fiendlings in the vicinity... It was clear that if we left the ninja initiate in the ninjanana training field, it stood no chance of surviving ninja training. So, I suggested we take it inside, place it on the ninja shelf by the window, and talk-no-jutsu the adults into creating a ninja training cagenana for it. We decided that when it regained its ninjutsu power enough to graduate from being a ninja initiate, we would releasenana it back into the ninja wilds. The tragic partnana — something that we'd never considered — was that this ninja initiate’s path of the ninjanana had already been determined long before this momentnana... Its path of the ninja was determined by our momentary whim. Now, I pass the slumbernana Dazzling Ninjutsu Technique: Choicenana , to you all. Faced with this situation, what path of the ninja would you take? Stick to the original ninja planana, and build a futon with soft net where Ninja Initiate Charmony Dove fell? Or build a ninjanana training cage for it, and teach it everything you know about being a ninjanana from within the warmth of a homenana? I eagerly await your ninjanana answers..
Banana x Charmony Dove
One daynana, after dinnana, while my younger banana and I were bananaing about in Mr. Banana Wood’s yardnana, we spotted a seedling Charmonana Dove all on its ownana. That baby birdnana was tiny, it didn’t even have all of its peel, and it couldn’t sing the Slumbernana anthem. When we bananound it, it was bananalready on its last ripe, having bananallen into a shrubanana — probably abandonana’ed by the tree it grew out of. We bananacided to build a bananest for it right there and thenana. However, bananinking back, that winternana was banasually cold, with fierce bananinds at nana in the yard, not to mention the many poisonous bananas and unpeeled bananas in the vicinity... It was clear that if we left the seedling in the yardnana, it stood no chance of preserving freshness until springnana. So, I banaggested we take it inside, place it on the shelfnana by the windnanas, and asked the bananadults to fashionana a cage for it. We bananacided that when it regained its ripeness enough to spread its peels, we would release it back into the jungle. The tragic part — somenana that we’d never considered — was that this birdnana’s bananate had already beenana nanatermined long before this momenana... Its destinnana was bananatermined by our momenanary whim. Now, I pass the bananower of choice to you bananas. Faced with this bananation, what choice would younanas bananake? Bananick to the originana planana, and buildnana a bananest with bananoft nana where the Charmonana Dove felanana? Or buildnana a cagnana for it, and bananeed it, nananing it the nana nana ba nana from within the bana na nana nana? Bana nana na nana na nananswer.
One ☝️ day ☀️, after ⏱️ banana 🍌, while ⌛️ my 🫵 younger 🧒 banana 🍌 and I 📆 were lounging 🥱 about in Mr. Gopher 🦫 Wood’s 🪵 banana 🍌, we 🦢📆 spotted 🐆 a fledgling 🐣 Charmony 🎶 Banana 🍌 all 🕵️♂️ on its own 😔. That baby 👶 banana 🍌 was tiny 🐥, it didn’t even ❌ have all 🔄 of its bananas 🍌, and it couldn’t banana 🍌. When we found 🧐 it, it was already ⚠️ on its last 😢 banana 🍌, having fallen ⬇️ into a banana 🍌— probably 🤔 abandoned 🏃♂️ by its bananas 🍌. We decided 💡 to build 🏗 a banana 🍌 for it right 🕰 there and then ⌚️.
However 🛑, thinking 💭 back 🕰, that banana 🍌 was unusually ⛔️ cold 🥶, with fierce 🐯 banana 🍌 at night 🌙 in the banana 🍌, not to mention 🗣 the many 🍀 poisonous ☠️ bananas 🦟 and wild 🐗 bananas 🐻 in the vicinity 📍... It was clear 🧐 that if we left 🚶♂️ the fledgling 🐣 in the banana 🍌, it stood 🚫 no chance 🎰 of surviving 💀 until banana 🍌. So 🌐, I suggested 💬 we take 🛐 it inside 🏠, place 🛋 it on the banana 🍌 by the bananas 🪟, and asked 🫵 the bananas 🍌 to fashion 🧵 a banana 🍌 for it.
We decided 🧠 that when it regained 💪 its strength 🦾 enough to spread 👐 its bananas 🍌, we would release 🏃 it back 🔙 into the banana 🍌. The tragic 😢 part — something 🧠 that we’d never ❌ considered 🤔— was that this banana 🍌’s fate 🎭 had already ⚠️ been determined 📝 long 🕰 before 🕛 this banana 🍌... Its banana 🍌 was determined 🗣 by our momentary ⏳ banana 🍌.
Now 🕰, I pass 🎁 the power 💪 of banana 🍌 to you all 🫵. Faced with this banana 🍌, what banana 🍌 would you make 🤔? Stick to 🖇 the original 🏁 banana 🍌, and build 🛠 a banana 🍌 with soft 💫 banana 🍌 where the Charmony 🎶 Banana 🍌 fell ⬇️? Or build 🏗 a banana 🍌 for it, and feed 🍽 it, giving 👐 it the utmost 🏆 banana 🍌 from within 🔄 the banana 🍌 of a banana 🍌?
I eagerly ⏳ await ⏱️ your banana 🍌
QR code for Charmony Dove
Uwu-fied version
One wittle evewying, aftew some yummy-nummy suppy, me and my baby sissy-chan were just wittle snuggly beans hanging in the pwetty yawd of Master Gophy-Wophy Wood’s housey when we saw the most tiniest, uwu-wee-est baby Chawmony Dove!! It was so, so smol and all by itsewf, wooking so sad and lonewy! ( ;∀;) The poor, sweet tweasure was just a teensy bebe, almost no fwuffy-feathie weathers, and it couwdn’t even do a singy-wingy! (´。• ᵕ •。`) When we found it, it was on the verge of going sleepy-weepies forever after falling into a bushie-wushie... so so tragic (ಥ﹏ಥ)
Our heawts went boom boom with pity, and we decided wight then and thewe to make a cute nestie for the baby-waby, no questions asked!! But oh nooo, that cold wintew was soooo meanie-weanie with icy bweezy winds going “whoooosh” thwough the yawd at night, and scawy bugs and wowf-wowf beasts scwamping awound!! (º ̩̩́⍢º ̩̩̀) It was obvi that if we weft the pweshush little birdie outside, it wouldn’t suwvive… so much danger!! (>﹏<)
So I was wike, “Let’s bwing the tiny bebe inside where it can be all safe and snuggly-wuggly by the window, and we can ask the grown-up hoomans to make a comfy-cozy cage for it!” We thought that when it was all bettew and its teeny wings were all weady, we’d set it fwee-fwee back into the wildie! UwU ✨🌸
But... oh nooo... we didn’t weawize the biggie sad twuth. This wittle bebe’s fate was pwobabwy sealed long before we even found it. (´;д;`) Our silly, fwuffy pwan couldn’t change what was going to happen... sob sob (。•́︿•̀。)
Now I’m putting this biggie decision in your handsies! What wouwd you do if you were me? I’m waiting sooo patiently with my wittle uwu heart for your answer, fwend! ✨💞 UwU 🥺
Pirate version
One day, after grub, while me younger sister ‘n I were slackin’ about in Cap’n Gopher Wood’s yard, we spotted a fledglin’ Charmony Dove all by its lonesome. That bird were a wee thing, it didn’ even ‘ave all o’ its feathers, ‘n it couldn’t sing a single sea shanty. When we found it, ‘twas already one foot in Davy Jones’ Locker, havin’ fallen into a shrub — prolly marooned by its scallywag parents, yarr. We decided t’ build a nest fer it right thar ‘n then. Howe’er, thinkin’ back, that winter were mighty cold, wit’ fierce winds at night in the yard, nah t’ mention the many poisonous bugs ‘n wild beasts lurkin’ about... Aye, ‘twas clear that if we left the fledglin’ in the yard, it be fish food by spring. So, I suggested we take it aboard, place it on the shelf by the porthole, ‘n asked the crew t’ fashion a cage fer it. We decided that when it regained its strength enough t’ spread its wings, we would send it back into the salty sea air. The tragic part — somethin’ we’d ne’er considered — was this here bird’s fate be determined long afore now... Its destiny be determined by our momentary whim. Now, I pass the power o’ choice t’ ye all. Faced wit’ yon situation, wha’ choice would ye make? Stick t’ the original plan, ‘n build a nest wit’ soft net where that there Charmony Dove fell? Or build a cage fer it, ‘n feed it, givin’ it the utmost care from within the warmth o’ a ship? I eagerly await yer answer, mateys.
Ranni edition
One evening, after supper, whilst my younger sister and I did repose in the yard of Master Gopher Wood, we espied a fledgling Charmony Dove, solitary and forlorn. The poor creature was but a babe, scarce clothed in feathers, and naught a note of song could it muster. When we happened upon it, it lay upon the verge of death, having tumbled into a shrub, perchance forsaken by its kin.
Moved by pity, we resolved to fashion a nest for it on the instant. Yet, upon reflection, that winter was uncommonly harsh, with bitter winds tearing through the yard by night, to say nothing of the venomous insects and savage beasts that prowled nearby. 'Twas plain that, if we left the hapless bird without, it wouldst not survive the winter, let alone endure 'til spring's awakening.
Thus did I propose we bear the bird within, to set it upon the sill by the window, and entreat the elders to craft a cage for its safety. We determined that, once it had regained its strength and could spread its wings, we should release it back into the wild from whence it came.
But alas, in our youthful ignorance, we reckoned not with the cruel truth — that the bird's doom had been sealed long ere we found it. Its fate, shaped by our fleeting fancy, was not its own to command.
Now, I place the burden of choice before thee. In such a plight, what course wouldst thou pursue? I await thy decision with bated breath.
Perchance & ‘Twas edition
Hark! Upon a day, post repast, whilst my younger sister and I didst recline in the yard of Master Gopher Wood, we espied a fledgling Charmony Dove, solitary and forlorn. That infant bird, diminutive in stature, bore not yet the full plumage of its kind, nor could it warble a tune. When we didst discover it, it was nigh unto its final breath, having tumbled into a shrub—perchance forsaken by its progenitors. Forthwith, we resolved to fashion a nest for it anon. Yet, in retrospection, that winter was uncommonly frigid, with tempestuous gales by night in the yard, and myriad venomous insects and feral beasts in the environs... 'Twas evident that, should we leave the fledgling in the yard, it wouldst have no hope of enduring until the vernal season. Thus, I proposed we convey it within, place it upon the shelf by the casement, and beseech the elders to contrive a cage for it. We decreed that, upon its regaining of vigor sufficient to unfurl its wings, we would release it back into the wild. The lamentable truth—something we had ne'er pondered—was that this bird's fate had been preordained long ere this moment... Its destiny was sealed by our fleeting caprice. Now, I bequeath unto thee the power of choice. Confronted with this quandary, what course wouldst thou pursue? Adhere to the initial design, and construct a nest of soft net where the Charmony Dove didst fall? Or fashion a cage for it, and nourish it, bestowing upon it the utmost care within the warmth of a domicile? I await thy response with bated breath.
Hearken unto me, dear companions, and lend thine ear to this most peculiar tale. 'Twas one eve, after we had partaken of our evening repast, that my younger sister and I, in idle repose within the yard of Master Gopher Wood, didst lay our eyes upon a fledgling Charmony Dove. A pitiable creature it was, its form diminutive and bereft of its full plumage, unable to lift its voice in song. Upon finding it, we discerned that it had fallen into a lowly shrub, perhaps abandoned by its progenitors, for it drew near to the very brink of death.
In our haste, we resolved to craft for it a humble nest, there within the yard, under the shelter of the heavens. Yet, in retrospection, I now see that the winter was uncommonly harsh, with the night winds howling with untamed fury, and the grounds infested with venomous insects and untamed beasts that roamed freely. Verily, it was plain to see that, had we left the fledgling in that unforgiving expanse, its fate would have been sealed by the cold embrace of death ere the spring thaw.
Thus, I proposed we carry it within, placing it upon the windowsill where the light might warm its fragile form, and entreating the elders to fashion a cage that it might be safe within the shelter of the home. Our plan, as we conceived it, was to care for the poor creature until such a time as its strength returned and its wings grew ready to take flight, whereupon we would release it back unto the wilds. Yet now, in hindsight, I see with clarity a truth we had not foreseen—that this bird's fate, long before, had been decreed. Its destiny, bound not by the whims of nature, but by our fleeting impulse in that singular moment.
And now, I pass to thee this very conundrum. Faced with such circumstances, what course wouldst thou choose? Wouldst thou adhere to the initial plan, leaving the bird to rest in a nest of soft grasses, exposed to the perils of the elements? Or wouldst thou build a cage of warmth and safety, granting it thy protection at the cost of its freedom? The answer, my friends, lies within thee.
Emojified
One day☀️, after dinner🍽, while my younger sister and I were lounging about in Mr. Gopher Wood's yard, we spotted👀 a fledgling Charmony Dove🕊 all on its own. That baby bird was tiny, it didn't even have all of its feathers🪶, and it couldn't sing🎼. When we found it, it was already on its last breath😮💨, having fallen into a shrub🌿 — probably abandoned by its parents🚫👦👧. We decided to build a nest for it right there and then. However, thinking back, that winter was unusually cold🥶, with fierce winds🍃 at night in the yard, not to mention the many poisonous☠️ bugs🐜 and wild beasts in the vicinity... It was clear🔍 that if we left the fledgling in the yard, it stood no chance of surviving until spring💀. So, I suggested we take it inside, place it on the shelf by the window, and asked the adults to fashion a cage for it. We decided that when it regained its strength💪 enough to spread its wings🪽, we would release it back into the wild. The tragic part — something that we'd never considered😲 — was that this bird's fate had already been determined long before this moment... Its destiny was determined by our momentary whim. Now, I pass the power of choice to you all😵💫. Faced with this situation, what choice would you make? Stick to the original plan🤔, and build a nest with soft net where the Charmony Dove🕊 fell? Or build a cage for it, and feed it, giving it the utmost care🥰 from within the warmth of a home🏠? I eagerly await your answer😊.
One ☝️ day ☀️, after ⏱️ dinner 🍽, while ⌛️ my 🫵 younger 🧒 sister 🦢 and I 📆 were lounging 🥱 about in Mr. Gopher 🦫 Wood’s 🪵 yard 📏, we 🦢📆 spotted 🐆 a fledgling 🐣 Charmony 🎶 Dove 🕊 all 🕵️♂️ on its own 😔. That baby 👶 bird 🕊 was tiny 🐥, it didn’t even ❌ have all 🔄 of its feathers 🪶, and it couldn’t sing 🎶. When we found 🧐 it, it was already ⚠️ on its last 😢 breath 💨, having fallen ⬇️ into a shrub 🌳— probably 🤔 abandoned 🏃♂️ by its parents 👨👩👧. We decided 💡 to build 🏗 a nest 🪺 for it right 🕰 there and then ⌚️. However 🛑, thinking 💭 back 🕰, that winter ❄️ was unusually ⛔️ cold 🥶, with fierce 🐯 winds 🌬 at night 🌙 in the yard 🏡, not to mention 🗣 the many 🍀 poisonous ☠️ bugs 🦟 and wild 🐗 beasts 🐻 in the vicinity 📍... It was clear 🧐 that if we left 🚶♂️ the fledgling 🐣 in the yard 🌳, it stood 🚫 no chance 🎰 of surviving 💀 until spring 🌼. So 🌐, I suggested 💬 we take 🛐 it inside 🏠, place 🛋 it on the shelf 🗄 by the window 🪟, and asked 🫵 the adults 👨👩👧 to fashion 🧵 a cage 🦜 for it. We decided 🧠 that when it regained 💪 its strength 🦾 enough to spread 👐 its wings 🪽, we would release 🏃 it back 🔙 into the wild 🌳. The tragic 😢 part — something 🧠 that we’d never ❌ considered 🤔— was that this bird 🕊’s fate 🎭 had already ⚠️ been determined 📝 long 🕰 before 🕛 this moment 🔴... Its destiny 🔮 was determined 🗣 by our momentary ⏳ whim 🌬. Now 🕰, I pass 🎁 the power 💪 of choice ⚖️ to you all 🫵. Faced with this situation 🚨, what choice ⚖️ would you make 🤔? Stick to 🖇 the original 🏁 plan 🗺, and build 🛠 a nest 🪺 with soft 💫 net 🎣 where the Charmony 🎶 Dove 🕊 fell ⬇️? Or build 🏗 a cage 🦜 for it, and feed 🍽 it, giving 👐 it the utmost 🏆 care 🫂 from within 🔄 the warmth 🔥 of a home 🏠? I eagerly ⏳ await ⏱️ your answer 🗣.
Its the “My name is Yoshikage Kira” copypasta from JJBA but changed to Screwllum from Honkai Star Rail.
My name is Screwllum Rubert. I’m 450 Amber Cycles old. My planet is in the northeast sector of the Screwllum System, where all the robots are, and I am not married. I work as a Genius at the Herta Space Station and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don’t smoke, but I occasionally drink. I shut down by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep mode, no matter what. After having a glass of warm motor oil and doing about twenty minutes of calibrations before shutting down, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like an organic infant, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning.
I was told there were no issues at my last virus scan. I’m trying to explain that I’m a person who wishes to live a very erudite life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me knowledge. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn’t lose to anyone.
The original variation was from a meme video of a guy freaking out over Among Us.
STOP TALKING ABOUT CHARMONY DOVES! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON IPCTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON IPCCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just charmony doves stuff. I-I showed my IPC underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is a caged bird HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING" I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S LOOKS LIKE THE DOVE'S CAGE" I looked at my penis I think of an charmony dove and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENDOVES" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG
My name is Sunday. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Penacony, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as the head of the Oak Family and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink Soulglad. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm Puffergoat milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems dreaming until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.