Honkai Star Rail

Dearest Archer, I am writing you this letter to introduce myself

Its Zy0x letter to Alercchino when she was drip marketed but changed to Archer from Honkai Star Rail.

Dearest Archer, I am writing you this letter to introduce myself. My name is bone-of-my-sword23, but you can call me Bone. I would love to get to know you better. I am good friends with both Rin and Saber (Sakura doesn't talk much) and have heard wonderful things about you. If you would ever happen to have even an ounce of free time, it would be my pleasure -- nay, my honour to accompany you during that period. I have been known as a hero, of sorts (or a hero of justice, if that sounds better to you) and have been known for my benevolent acts of kindness, generosity, and grace. If possible, being blessed by your presence over the course of the weekend or whenever you happen to be available, would allow us to connect and better learn about each other. We could go to the Fuyuki beaches (I speak Japanese), and swim with the mana dolphins. I have always loved swords, both the blades and the handles, and you are the bone of my sword (the steel of my body (believe when i say the fire of my blood)). I will give you all of my Seele's relics if you so desire. I would be honoured and am eagerly awaiting your response. See you soon!

should I pull Jiaoqiu or her light co-” HOW ABOUT I PULL THE TRIGGER HUH? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME? IS THIS ALL IT TAKES?

Its a crashout from the Acheron mains sub where some players still refuses to pull for Jiaoqiu even though he is by far her best support character.

hey Jiaoqiu, heard you were good for Acheron... should I pull you or her light co-" HOW ABOUT I PULL THE TRIGGER HUH? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME? IS THIS ALL IT TAKES? IM SICK OF EVERYONE THINKING THEY ARE BETTER THAN ME, FEIXIAO TELLS ME "babe is not that deep" BUT IT IS THAT DEEP, Moze says "hey dude chill it's okay, I'm a sidegrade for topaz, and I'm doing fine" YOU ANSWERED YOURSELF, YOU ARE A SIDEGRADE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY, I AIN'T NO SIDEGRADE, I SUPPOSED TO BE THE BETTER OPTION! THEN THIS GUY SUNDAY WALKS IN AND SAYS "hey it's okay, I was supposed to be castorice BiS support but that didn't happen, I understand your pain" NO YOU DON'T, YOU STILL HAVE ROOM FOR IMPROVED, THERE A LOTS OF REMEMBRANCE UNITS TO COME! MEANWHILE I WAS BORN WITH A SIGLE PURPOSE BUT PEOPLE WON'T LET ME FULFIL IT...FOR THE LOVE OF LAN, I CAN TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Castorice deals insane damage 💥 has like 5000+ HP 💖 summons a whole-ass DRAGON 🐉 that tanks for your entire team 🛡️ AND blasts enemies with a HUGE LASER 🌌☄️

Its the Ksante copypasta but changed to Castorice from Honkai Star Rail.

So lemme get this straight 🦋💀 Castorice deals insane damage 💥 has like 5000+ HP 💖 summons a whole-ass DRAGON 🐉 that tanks for your entire team 🛡️ AND blasts enemies with a HUGE LASER 🌌☄️ that deletes galaxies??? And then she heals herself 🌿, her dragon 🐲, and can revive dead teammates ☠️✨ even when she's not in the party??? Like bro, what even is balance 😭.

AND on top of all that 🦋💎 she has no F2P LC option 🤑💀 you literally have to pull for her gacha-exclusive one 🎰💰 otherwise you're just coping 🫠. So she's a tank 🏰, a healer 🌿, a DPS ⚔️, a support 🤝, and a necromancer 🪦 all at once while looking pretty as hell doing it??? 😭💜

I’m sick of Gallagher

Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Gallagher from Honkai Star Rail.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Gallagher. I try to play DoT. My Huohuo doesn’t generate enough SP. I try to play Mydei. My Luocha doesn’t heal enough. I want to play mono-quantum. Gallagher has better buff with Sacerdos. I want to play Acheron, her best team has Gallagher. I want to play Aglaea, The Herta, Firefly, Yunli, Feixiao, etc… They ALL want Gallagher.

He grabs me by the throat. I save Penacony for him. I run the bar for him. I take care of his pet. He isn't satisfied. I pull Scent Alone Stays True. "I don't need this much BE" He tells me. "Give me more team comps." He grabs Lingsha and throw her into The Shackling Prison. "You will never have to pull for another sustain again, I’m all you need".

I want to pull for new characters, I have the jades. He confiscate my credit card. He looks at the other sustains. “This is only the beginning." He grabs Sleepie. He says "Sleepie, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, LC abuse. What a cruel universe.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Gallagher. I try to play Bailu. My Gallagher heals more. I try to play Lingsha. My Gallagher gives more SP. I try to play Luocha. My Gallagher heals more and gives more SP. I want to play Firefly. Her best team has Gallagher. I want to play Archeron, Robin. They both want Gallagher.

He grabs me by the throat. I farm for him. I salvage. I give him Self-Modelling resin. He isn't satisfied. I craft a piece. "I don't need this much BE" He tells me. "Give me more SPD." He grabs every 4* healers and throw them to irrelevancy. "You just need to give me QPQ. I can give more energy than HuoHuo."

I can't pull for QPQ, I have skill issue. He grabs my account to clear MOC. It fails. "Guess this is the end." He grabs Prydwen. He says "Prydwen, get them." There is no hint of emotion in his eyes. Nothing but pure, cruel data sheets of just how much he is the swiss army of HSR. What a cruel world.

Genshin would be better if the content was tailored to me personally

It started as shitpost towards the drama happening within Genhin Impact community but had since become a staple copypasta whenever there’s player drama within a Hoyoverse game.

As I watch the community’s rightful outrage over yet another bad decision made by HoYo, it occurs to me that they continuously make the same mistake:

Not making content for the average player.

I am a perfect representation of the average player for reasons. The things I like are the things that all players would want. They'd have to be stupid not to be satisfied with my ideas and demands.

It is mind boggling that HoYo doesn't want to make the game more successful by just doing what would make me happy.

Honkai Star Rail (HSR)

HSR would be better if the content was tailored to me personally
Meme / Fluff

As I watch the community’s rightful outrage over yet another bad decision made by HoYo, it occurs to me that they continuously make the same mistake:

Not making content for the average player.

I am a perfect representation of the average player for reasons. The things I like are the things that all players would want. They'd have to be stupid not to be satisfied with my ideas and demands.

It is mind boggling that HoYo doesn't want to make the game more successful by just doing what would make me happy.

I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Herta.

Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to The Herta from Honkai Star Rail.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Herta. I try to play JY. My Herta deals more damage. I try to play Acheron. My Herta deals more damage. I try to play Feixiao. My Herta deals more damage. I want to play Argenti. His best team has Herta. I want to play smol Herta, Serval. They both want Herta.

She grabs me by the throat. I do SU for her. I cook for her. I give her Eternal Calculus. She isn't satisfied. I pull An Instant Before A Gaze. "I don't need this much crit" She tells me. "Give me more DMG." She grabs Lingsha and forces her to throw herself off the enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with my BiS."

I can't pull for her BiS, I don't have enough jades. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her keyblade. She says "Endless riddles, nothing but a void." There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure fiction damage. What a cruel world.