Honkai Star Rail

I’m sick of Gallagher

Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Gallagher from Honkai Star Rail.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Gallagher. I try to play DoT. My Huohuo doesn’t generate enough SP. I try to play Mydei. My Luocha doesn’t heal enough. I want to play mono-quantum. Gallagher has better buff with Sacerdos. I want to play Acheron, her best team has Gallagher. I want to play Aglaea, The Herta, Firefly, Yunli, Feixiao, etc… They ALL want Gallagher.

He grabs me by the throat. I save Penacony for him. I run the bar for him. I take care of his pet. He isn't satisfied. I pull Scent Alone Stays True. "I don't need this much BE" He tells me. "Give me more team comps." He grabs Lingsha and throw her into The Shackling Prison. "You will never have to pull for another sustain again, I’m all you need".

I want to pull for new characters, I have the jades. He confiscate my credit card. He looks at the other sustains. “This is only the beginning." He grabs Sleepie. He says "Sleepie, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, LC abuse. What a cruel universe.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Gallagher. I try to play Bailu. My Gallagher heals more. I try to play Lingsha. My Gallagher gives more SP. I try to play Luocha. My Gallagher heals more and gives more SP. I want to play Firefly. Her best team has Gallagher. I want to play Archeron, Robin. They both want Gallagher.

He grabs me by the throat. I farm for him. I salvage. I give him Self-Modelling resin. He isn't satisfied. I craft a piece. "I don't need this much BE" He tells me. "Give me more SPD." He grabs every 4* healers and throw them to irrelevancy. "You just need to give me QPQ. I can give more energy than HuoHuo."

I can't pull for QPQ, I have skill issue. He grabs my account to clear MOC. It fails. "Guess this is the end." He grabs Prydwen. He says "Prydwen, get them." There is no hint of emotion in his eyes. Nothing but pure, cruel data sheets of just how much he is the swiss army of HSR. What a cruel world.

Genshin would be better if the content was tailored to me personally

It started as shitpost towards the drama happening within Genhin Impact community but had since become a staple copypasta whenever there’s player drama within a Hoyoverse game.

As I watch the community’s rightful outrage over yet another bad decision made by HoYo, it occurs to me that they continuously make the same mistake:

Not making content for the average player.

I am a perfect representation of the average player for reasons. The things I like are the things that all players would want. They'd have to be stupid not to be satisfied with my ideas and demands.

It is mind boggling that HoYo doesn't want to make the game more successful by just doing what would make me happy.

Honkai Star Rail (HSR)

HSR would be better if the content was tailored to me personally
Meme / Fluff

As I watch the community’s rightful outrage over yet another bad decision made by HoYo, it occurs to me that they continuously make the same mistake:

Not making content for the average player.

I am a perfect representation of the average player for reasons. The things I like are the things that all players would want. They'd have to be stupid not to be satisfied with my ideas and demands.

It is mind boggling that HoYo doesn't want to make the game more successful by just doing what would make me happy.

I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Herta.

Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to The Herta from Honkai Star Rail.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Herta. I try to play JY. My Herta deals more damage. I try to play Acheron. My Herta deals more damage. I try to play Feixiao. My Herta deals more damage. I want to play Argenti. His best team has Herta. I want to play smol Herta, Serval. They both want Herta.

She grabs me by the throat. I do SU for her. I cook for her. I give her Eternal Calculus. She isn't satisfied. I pull An Instant Before A Gaze. "I don't need this much crit" She tells me. "Give me more DMG." She grabs Lingsha and forces her to throw herself off the enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with my BiS."

I can't pull for her BiS, I don't have enough jades. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her keyblade. She says "Endless riddles, nothing but a void." There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure fiction damage. What a cruel world.

Raw. Yes you heard me right. Raw.

Came from a post on the Honkai Star Rail Husbandos after the released of Amphoreus trailer that teased upcoming male characters.

Raw. Yes you heard me right. Raw. I want this man to do unspeakable things to me. I want him to be the iceberg to my Titanic, the key to my paradise, the Wi-Fi to my phone, the charger to my phone so I can plug him in me and stay that way. Since his first teaser, he hasn't let go of his chokehold on me and this trailer didn't help one bit. I am in intensive care because of this man's muscles tight around my neck. I want it all day, night, morning, evening, afternoon and every other time there is that I can't think of. I know that we are all in the same boat when I say I want this man to absolutely annihilate, obliterate and eradicate me. I want him to crack my back like a glowstick and lock me up in his dungeon. I physically cannot contain myself any longer. Ever since his release, I've spent every day checking subs in the hopes that someone with art talents would satisfy my needs. I want to sit on his throne while he is sitting on his throne if you catch my drift. I want to be that necklace around his neck so that I can feel those pecs all day. Raw, only lube being from me slobbing his knob and him eating me out. Cowgirl position while he sits on that throne and spreads my cheeks open with his gauntlets still on. Raw, on the bed, on the table, on the floor, on the wall, on the couch, in the kitchen, in the living room, in the bathroom, doggystyle, all fours, riding, reverse cowgirl... This man could choke me, throw me, step on me, and I'd still kiss his feet, I want this man to chain me up, blindfold me and use me till I'm broken.

( I'm willing to bear his children, even if it's just once pls, 🛐🛐🛐 ) UWOOOH

Raw. Yes you heard me right. Raw. I want this man to do unspeakable things to me. I want him to be the iceberg to my Titanic, the key to my paradise, the Wi-Fi to my phone, the charger to my phone so I can plug him in me and stay that way. Since his first teaser, he hasn't let go of his chokehold on me and this trailer didn't help one bit. I am in intensive care because of this man's muscles tight around my neck. I want it all day, night, morning, evening, afternoon and every other time there is that I can't think of. I know that we are all in the same boat when I say I want this man to absolutely annihilate, obliterate and eradicate me. I want him to crack my back like a glowstick and lock me up in his dungeon. I physically cannot contain myself any longer. Ever since his release, I've spent every day checking subs in the hopes that someone with art talents would satisfy my needs. I want to sit on his throne while he is sitting on his throne if you catch my drift. I want to be that necklace around his neck so that I can feel those pecs all day.

Thank you for coming to my pep talk.

I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Lingsha.

Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Lingsha, a healer that also damages from Honkai Star Rail.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Lingsha. I try to play Yunli. My Lingsha deals more damage. I try to play Acheron. My Lingsha deals more damage. I try to play Feixiao. My Lingsha deals more damage. I want to play Firefly. Her best team has Lingsha. I want to play Boothill, Rappa. They both want Lingsha.

She grabs me by the throat. I farmed Iron Cavalry for her. I built crit stats for her. I give her "What is Real?". She isn't satisfied. I pull "Dream's Montage". "I don't need this much speed" She tells me. "Give me more break effect." She grabs Sunday and forces him to Beatify her. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with "Scent Alone Stays True".

I can't pull for "Scent Alone Stays True", I don't have enough stellar jades. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs Fuyuan. She says "Fuyuan, get them." There is no hint of sadness in its eyes. Nothing but pure, Super Break damage. What a cruel world.

The year is 2040 in Honkai Star Rail

Every enemy now has over ten billion hp and one shots every character on field.

Acheron, Firefly and Feixiao have been dropped to T-76. Reports have it that Firefly has taken to the selling SAM barbecued gyros on the streets of Penacony to make ends meet after getting dropped so hard. Acheron's whereabouts are unknown.

With the release of the 5* Harmony, John Honkai, an expy from HI3 who the fans can't stop spoiling the story of, Jing Yuan has yet again reached top tier, hitting T(√-1) and he has since escaped the game to torment our reality. Pitch Dark Hook the Great is also T(√-1). No one is sure why.

The most recent relic set has the following description:

2 Pieces: If character is named (newest 5* character), make them viable. If not, do nothing.

4 Pieces: If character is named (newest 5* character), make them instantly clear 36* MoC, do your dishes and kiss you into bed. If not, banish them from this wretched world.

Humanity has fallen. Due to global warming and Jing Yuan personally massacring 90% of humanity after seeing all the Yanqing slander on the internet, the remnants of humanity now rally in great sea-faring ships, waging endless war for resources like Stellar Jades and relics with double crit rolls.

Of the ships, the largest is the RatUrine, comprised of the inhabitants of the Yaoi nation. It is closely followed by TopUrine. There likely exist other non-Urine related ships, of the old yuri and yaoi nations (and possibly the mythical allegedly existent straight nation), but they have fallen to irrelevance...

...with the exception of the self insert armada, a collection of infinite ships that need neither foundation nor proof to exist. All they require is sheer willpower. Without love, it cannot be seen. With love, we are omnipotent. Were it not for constant infighting between the Stelle and Caelus factions, they would have long dwarfed the Urine ships.

Hoyoverse has now become a true universe. But their words were lies. The otaku did not save the world. They destroyed it.

The Bronya now controls all of humanity's resources. It is unknown what she does with them. Some suspect she uses them to continue investing in the worst gameplay design possible so that one day, she can advance power creep such that new units are T5 at launch.

Then, perhaps, mankind will move fast enough to escape light.

...Screwllum still hasn't released.

Fin.