Harry Potter

Hogwarts Legacy Spoilers

Your teacher, Professor Eleazar Fig, dies at the end of Hogwarts Legacy. This happens in all possible endings and can't be changed. Oh and Rookwood is the one who cursed Anne while the goblins were framed.

Professor Fig dies at the end of Hogwarts Legacy no matter what choices you make and Rookwood is the one who cursed Anne.

Your teacher dies at the end of Hogwarts Legacy and can't be saved. Also, Rookwood is the one who cursed Anne.

The PC’s Professor, Eleazar Fig, dies at the end of Hogwarts Legacy. This happens in all possible endings and can't be changed. Oh and Rookwood is the one who cursed Anne and the goblins were framed for it.

Harry Potter Smokes Weed

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stoned — Original video

Harry: Ron, pass me the spliffendor. This vvizard vveed you got from Bagrid be some gas on Merlin, bruh.

Ron: Aight Harry, go easy bruv, I laced this one with gillyweed to get some mermaid pussy.

Harry: Being the chosen one brings lots of anxiety and depression, Ron. I'm finna chief this whole ass blunt if I feel like it.

Hermione: Ron! Harry! What are you two oafs doing? We have potions class right now!

Harry: Shiiit, sorry we're late Snape, we had to fight some gay ass trolls or summin' idk.

Snape: Is that marijuana I detect? Need I remind you rapscallions that weed is prohibited outside of the school's greenhouse. Additionally, that shit smell mid AF. Negative 420 points to Griffindor.

Hermione: Ron, you moronic new nigga! Bagrid sold yo ass some oregano grass clippings!

Malfoy: Typical Weasleys... bringing the midpack to the function.

Snape: That's enough Mr Malfoy. Let us continue with the lesson. Today's potion is a powerful concoction known to the Muggles as "lean".

Ron: Me mum says only dark wizards can sip the purp potion. I don't know about this Harry...

Snape: Shut the fuck up and sip this shit nigga!

Harry: Oooh shit! That thing bleedin' P! Fuuuck I'm faded off the wock this shit wild bruh. Ron, you good slime?

Ron: Harry... I'm buggin' out... I think Professor Snape slipped me a perc.

Snape: That was a Flintsone gummy bruh. This is why you get no witches.

Later....

Snape: Albus, I caught Potter and his friends with some mid ass herb, most likely given to them by Sirius Pack. How do we proceed?

Dumbledore: Aight first of all nigga don't go runnin' up on a real nigga snitchin' like that this shit ain't the opp block nigga pipe down. Now, since Harry was able to sip pure wock without buggin', he is ready to face the opp who shall not be named. He is ready for... the Elder Blunt.

Snape: Albus you cannot be serious! He is only a boy. The Elder Blunt is the loudest shit ever rolled.

Dumbledore: Indeed, it is the same gas that we used on Tom Middle all those years ago. Therefore, only it can stop the dark loud. BTW you tryna hit this shit bruh? It'll quell your nervousness for Potter.

Snape: I... Suppose... cough cough Damn this shit loud AF!

Dumbledore: Serverus! Stay with me! I need you to give me a ride to 7/11! I got hella munchies bruh!

Meanwhile...

Hermione: Ron, if you want me to keep tweking on your nuts, you have to stop smoking weed. Harry is a bad influence.

Ron: Of course, my queen. All of my gas money will go to your OnlyFans.

Harry: Ayo, Ron, the rotation is starting in the common room, slide thru.

Ron: Sorry Harry, but... Hermoine says I can't smoke anymore 'cause you're a bad influence.

Harry: Ron, you simp ass nigga! She hit the wall after the first movie bruh! I know just the spell to snap you out of it... KUSHIUS DANKUM!

Ron: Much better bruv, my apologies. Hermoine get the fuck up out my traphouse, hoe.

Hermoine: Ron you fucking twat! How am I supposed to afford my acrylics bum ass nigga!?

Harry: Better get on that wizard welfare, mudblood...

Hermoine: sobs

Voldemort: I sense Potter is becoming a bigger trapstar than we feared... We must run up on these opps now! Send the dementor plugs...

To be continued...

A story of my childhood

Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by British author J. K. Rowling. — Classic HP pasta

I remember one kid at my school got bullied really bad. They would shove him, throw away his packed lunches, and tear up his Harry Potter books.

They would even shout "wizard bitch!!" At him and when he corrected them saying female wizards are actually witches they would just beat him up. At first I thought it was awful and told them to stop. I said they were all bullies and this is not ok. They eventually backed off.

Now looking back on it, they weren't bullies at all, they just didn't want to support JK Rowling's transphobic rhetoric and influence. They were doing the right thing all along and I was too blind to see it.

They even were trying to break down the boundaries in gender biased language such as "witch" and "wizard." They were gender-abolishing warriors, not cruel kids.

They we're standing up for those that were silenced. How they knew this at such a young age, so far in advance before she even publicly stated anything is nothing short of amazing. They were playing chess, I was merely playing checkers. That's a true ally.

Wherever they are, I hope they are doing well. And I also hope that bigoted wizard-loving loser is being tripped as I say this.

Potter, a moment of your time, please.

First posted in 4chan and then reposted in Reddit. — Source

Potter, a moment of your time, please.

Someone has been stealing ingredients that could be used to make polyjuice potions.

I know, I know. "It wasn't me professor, I would never transform into a girl and masturbate to find out how it feels", I've heard this little song and dance before.

When I was your age I was the same. Did I ever tell you I stole your mother's hair regularly? I became quite adept at stealth and potions for this precise reason. To transform into your mother and pleasure myself.

There is this mirror... or there was, at any rate, I can't seem to find it anymore, that showed you your fondest wish. I would transform into your mother, look into that mirror and watch myself make love to her while your father watched, helpless to change anything

Those were the best orgasms of my life, Potter. One day things went wrong,

Before I could find my way to a safe spot, your father found me, and thinking me Lily proceeded to fondle me

It felt good, Potter. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest

You know that polyjuice potion doesn't change your voice, of course. Yet James Potter never suspected a thing when I didn't speak. He smiled and said I was learning.

Oh I learned alright. I learned never to touch polyjuice potion again. Not because I feared such a thing would happen again, but because I feared I would want it to. That I'd seek it out.

Polyjuice potion and it's ingredients are restricted for a reason, Potter. The very recipe is not available to students.

Keep that in mind, won't you?

I want to fuck Moaning Myrtle

Yes obviously she's a ghost so of course it's not possible to fuck her, but I want her to flirt with me, like she did with Harry in The Goblet Of Fire when he had a bath with her. I mean, could you imagine how sexually frustrated she must have been? Being in that bathroom for god knows how many years, not being able to get any dick? She obviously wanted Harry's big fat cock inside of her tight ghost pussy. Everyday I jerk imagining how she would start flirting with me in the bath and I'd show her my big hard cock and start jerking off with her while she rubs her wet ghost pussy. As she gets near her climax she'd moan "Please, cum on my face!" And I'd stand up and shoot my load at her face, which would obviously go through her head because she's a ghost but just the sight of it would give her the greatest orgasm she's ever experienced. This would be our little secret, we would be in a forbidden living/ghost relationship. Never being able to touch one another but still give each other great sexual pleasure. God I want to fuck Moaning Myrtle so bad.

Harry Potter quotes but the word “wand” is replaced with “penis”

Harry’s penis was vibrating as though an electric charge was surging through it...

Your penis, Lucius. I require your penis.' Voldemort drew out his own penis and compared the lengths.

You talk about penises like they’ve got feelings,' said Harry, 'like they can think for themselves.

Harry's penis had still been in his hand when he’d jumped — it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils

Draco’s sleek, black penis. Identical to his father’s penis as far as Harry could remember.

Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany penis. Eleven inches.

There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort's penis and mine sort of...connected.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, penises raised…

There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your penis and saying a few funny words.

Your penis, Harry! Use your penis!' Hermione shouted.

There will be no foolish penis-waving or silly incantations in this class.

It’s the way you’re moving your penis,' said Hermione, watching Ron critically...

Oh, move over,' Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's penis, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘ALABAMA!