Millia is too hot need help
Millia is too hot like, whenever I fight one I just have to throw the match, I need to see her victory animation and it turns me on so much the way she is, it's absurd tbh, I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Millia. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful breasts. The child bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Millia pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would daddy Daisuke create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
It’s Nagoriyuki’s taunt voicelines from Guilty Gear: Strive
Your fundamentals are flawed. Strong emotions or motivations may only lend you immense strength for a time. But those with unfaltering foundations are able to respond to such momentary, explosive power with ease. Furthermore, what keeps such foundations solidly intact is food. This? This is an onigiri, a nutritious food that has been eaten in the far East since ancient times. I can tell you more about onigiri when we have a free moment.
A single serving of onigiri provides energy, carbohydrates, protein, fat, calcium, vitamin b1, vitamin b2, iron, zinc, and fiber. One can add fillings to include additional sources of nutrients to their liking. In addition to energy sources that fuel the brain and body. It also includes nutrients to help maintain them and build muscle.
The great thing about onigiri is that they are highly portable and have a long shelf life, one does not need to be concerned about when and where to eat them, and they require no dishware to serve. Consuming one raises one's muscle glycogen levels, essential for a warrior heading to battle. They are also equipped to satisfy an empty stomach, this is because as the rice cools down, the starch grows resistant, making it harder to absorb into the body. In other words, it's an easy snack to avoid overeating, it's tasty too.
Recently I decided to go to my local fighting game tournament.
Here's how it went.
I had been getting pretty good at Guilty Gear over the past few weeks, to the point where I was getting the input correctly for the Potemkin Buster 1 out of every 4 or 5 times I tried it. So I thought "I might not be the best yet, but, surely good enough for my local" -- and I decided to go.
It took place at a the comic & games store in the town center. The venue was full of people 10-15 years younger than me and even more drastically cooler. They all turned to glare at me as I walked through the door, but as I stood completely motionless like a gazelle hoping to blend into the grassland, their gazes slowly returned to each other and they continued to banter friendlily.
I sat down next to me first opponent, and reached out to shake their hand. They looked down at my hand, and then up at my eyes slowly.
"You're supposed to do that at the end of the match."
"Oh, s-sorry"
I got perfected twice and lost the match. At the end, I reached out again to shake their hand, but they just stood up and walked away.
Because I lost, I got moved down to the loser's bracket, which was literally below the main tournament because it took place in the basement of the comic shop. I could hear footsteps, cheering, and happy conversation in the floor above. Here in the loser's bracket though, the mood was a lot more somber.
My next opponent reminded me a little bit of me. They were equally nervous and disheveled looking. They said "Um, h-hello" and reached out their hand for a handshake as they saw me approaching. I said "you're s-supposed to do that at the end of the match." But as a look of deep sadness came over their face and they slowly put down their hand, I pulled them in for a hug.
I'm not sure why I did that.
I think that some part of me knew that, in this dark, dank, alien place, illuminated only by a single failing ceiling light and the neon glow of a few arcade machines, I had at last found a friend -- someone I understood, and who might understand me too.
They hugged back.
I lost that match by a very narrow margin, and as they jumped up and began dancing around and cheering ecstatically, I began to hate them. This was no friend of mine. A friend would not do this to me. After they were done dancing, they reached out to shake my hand. After a few seconds of pause, I stuck out my hand too, but didn't look at them and refused to close it around theirs as they grasped it. They shook my karate chop.
I thought that at that point, since I had lost and then lost in loser's bracket, I was free to go home. But one of the tournament organizers approached me and informed me that I was going down to sub-loser's bracket in the sub-basement of the store, and pointed me towards a descending staircase.
The people there were fewer, and it was darker. I could faintly hear sobbing in one of the corners, but as I went to investigate, another participant put his hand on my shoulder. He furrowed his brow in a look of pain and shook his head slowly.
"You can't do anything for them."
In sub-loser's bracket I went up against a man in a suit whose face was cloaked in shadow. He spammed May's dolphin move. I lost.
As I went to go back upstairs, one of the tournament organizers held out her palm to stop me, and pointed towards a staircase leading further down instead.
Going down through the levels, I lost to many interesting participants. One player played exclusively by bashing the controller against his face. One player was a mushroom with a few circuit cables clipped onto it, that I later learned was able to play because its bioelectrical signals got sent to a machine that interpreted them as fighting game inputs. One player didn't touch their controller at all, but instead just told me their life story, which was so tragic that I picked up their controller and won for them.
Finally, at the very bottom floor, where construction standards were long abandoned and the stairs and walls were just messily carved out of the earth's stone, I faced my final player. It was a small bit of metal framework, with a controller nestled in it. On it was a tiny piston that just pressed the jab button exactly once every second. I lost.
I hung my head for a moment, then said "close game" and stuck my hand out for a handshake, before remembering that I had played against a metal framework cube with a piston in it and retracting my hand slowly. Then I heard a slow clapping from the darkness.
"No neutral. No footsies."
Out of the darkness slowly walked a woman about my age, clad in a decorative poofy dress that looked more expensive than my entire life savings. She smiled at me warmly, continuing to clap slowly, but there was a hint of mischief in her eyes.
"No meter management. No mixups. No spacing. No learning. No strategy…
…You're perfect."
"Wh-what?"
"You're perfect. I absolutely must have you."
"Have me for…um…for what…"
(Her eyes went wide as her smile grew more manic.)
"WHY, MY MORON FAILSON HAREM OF COURSE."
"Um, I-I"
"Tell me, what do you do for a living? Let me guess, you work at a fast food restaurant? Or, retail?"
"No, I'm a--I'm a comic artist."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh my god, you are PERFECT. What will it take to get you."
"To-to ge--"
"You would be well taken care of, of course. 3 Michelin star dining for every meal. Only the finest, softest sweatpants and sweatshirts, pre-stained with whatever flavor of Takis your little heart desires. You would have access to the entire mansion except for the main foyer when I'm in business calls, and you could make all the comics and play all the fighting games you want."
"I'm uh--"
I knew that I had to think fast here.
"I'm already i-in a moron failson harem."
"Oh, DARN IT!! TELL ME, WHO IS IT??? WHO GOT YOU??"
"I-I think I'm not allowed to s-sa--"
She stomped her foot petulantly, her shoe clacking against the stone floor.
"WAS IT SHUXUAN?? IT'S ALWAYS SHUXUAN HOGGING ALL OF THE GOOD ONES."
"I-I'm sorry," I blurted out, shuffling along the wall to make a wide radius around her and then running up the staircase.
As I got home and began making my standard dinner of Trader Joe's microwave falafel, I thought about her offer. Maybe I should have taken her up on it after all. A 3 Michelin star meal right now wouldn't be so bad.
Then I hopped on Guilty Gear and lost 22 matches in a row.
IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKING GUILTY GEAR REFERENCE?!??!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS A BALANCED ROSTER?!!!?!!??!!??!!!! “Mankind knew that they cannot change society, so instead of reflecting on themselves, they blamed the beast HEAVEN OR HELL?” 🗣️🗣️🗣️🥶🥶🥶🥶🔥🔥🔥🥶😩😩😩😩🥶🥶🥶🔥🔥🔥🥶😩🥶🥶🔥😩😩🔥RADIOOOOO 👹👹👹🔥🔥🔥🔥😭☕️😭🔥🔥👹👹👹 Sol Badguy is SO BADASS 😭😭🔥💥💥👹👹💥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Ky is the best Twink 👅👅👅👅 FIGHT LKKE A TIGER WALK THROUGH THE PARK! MISS AND INPUT AND YOU DIE! 🐅🐅🐅🐅 POTEMUKIN BUSTAH 🥶 “Is born first the egg or the chicken?” The omelette DUMBASS 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣Elphelt is the best WAIFU 😩 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖ELPHELT WIFE 💖 ELPHELT WIFE 💖ELPHELT WIFE 💖 peak fiction 🗿㊙️🛏️ RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. BEG FOR MY FORGIVENESS OR, BETTER YET, JUST KILL YOURSELVES! 🤖🤖🤖🤖 WHEN WILL THEY ADD HOLY ORDER SOL TO STRIVE⁉️⁉️‼️❓⁉️ Can’t wait for Dante to be playable! 🚳💯💯💯
Started from a user in the Guilty Gear Discord, the Elphelt copypasta is now part of a series of GG copypasta.
I just wanted to say that I LOVE Elphelt's design, like seriously it represents perfectly her personality. It mixes amazingly the concept of "womanhood" she wants to represent and her goofy and clumsy behavior. Her design is actually peak in every game she appears, seriously, in the first one it fits her personality and goal perfectly, in the second game her desires has more a serious/sad vibe, she herself doesn't like it but since the setting required a more serious dressing she nails it perfectly. While the last one (Strive's) is peak character redesign, they improved her perfectly without making her unrecognizable, the fact that she is a metal singer is so goofy, cool and it makes a lot of sense too! Her newer punk/rock design is seriously peak character design I'm not even gonna lie it's like so fucking peak. I could keep going on and on since it's so good, for example both her and Ramlethal had a clover on their headgears, since Elphelt lost her headgear she kept the clover as the zip of her jacket and OH MY GOD ITS SO CUTE.
I LOVE ELPHELT'S DESIGN IT'S SO PERFECT ITS PEAK ITS LITERALLY VISUALLY APPEALING JUST TO LOOK AT HER SHE HAS SUCH A GOOD DESIGN OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE
I'm just going to go ahead and say what we've all been thinking. If you didn't play the other Guilty Gear games, you don't deserve to play Guilty Gear Strive I am tired of you bandwagon sheep frauds trying to hop on this. BUT MY FAVORITE GARBAGE INFLUENCER IS PLAYING GUILTY GEAR STRIVE SO I WANNA PLAY IT TOO - no. I'm so sick of yo bandwagoning frauds coming out of the wood work to ride a train after we built it. Where were you in 2014 with Guilty Gear XX Accent Core +R? When you were made fun of for playing XRD?