Guilty Gear

Jack-O is too kawaii like, whenever I open up strive

By u/GodVulc4n, its a parody of the Millia is too hot copypasta but changed to Jack-O from Guilty Gear.

Jack-O is too kawaii like, whenever I open up strive I have to select her even though I planned to lab someone else. I need to see her victory animation and it melts my heart so much the way she is, it’s absurd tbh, I never wanted to hug and squeeze anyone more than I want with Jack-O. That perfect, round face. That giant sweet smile. That immature, clumsy voice. The crouch. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I’ll never go down to one knee with a ring, watch our children grow up, and have her buried next to me when we die. I’d do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to marry Jack-O (or become Sol Badguy). A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can’t bury my face into her when I’m sad and lonely is too much to fucking bear. Why would That Fucking Man create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Does he know that perfection can’t please me?!?!?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can’t anymore. Fuck.

I’ve come to make an announcement: Sol Badguy is a bitchass motherfucker.

By u/TriplDentGum, its the Eggman announcement copypasta but changed to Sol Badguy from Guilty Gear.

I've come to make an announcement: Sol Badguy is a bitchass motherfucker. He counter hit my 6P. That's right. He took his Outrage fuckin' fiery Bandit Bringer out and he counter hit my 6P, and he said his hitbox was "this big" and I said, "That's OD". So I'm making a callout post on my Reddit.com: Sol Badguy, you've got a small hitbox. It's the size of this 5P except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my antiair looks like. kou.png That's right, baby. Vertical reach, entirely disjointed, no blindspots, look at that, it looks like the caricature of a handgun. He counter hit my 6P, so guess what, I'm gonna autoguard the jump in. That's right, this is what you get! My super win neutral button! Except I'm not gonna autoguard the jump in. I'm gonna go higher. I'm anti airing the Bandit Bringerrrrrrrrr! COUNTER How do you like that, Vernon? I counter hit the Bandit Bringer, you idiot! You have twenty-three frames before the anti air llllllllaunchhhhhher hits my fucking c.S, now get out of my sight before I anti air you too!

Jack-O is too kawaii

Jack-O is too kawaii like, whenever I open up strive I have to select her even though I planned to lab someone else. I need to see her victory animation and it melts my heart so much the way she is, it’s absurd tbh, I never wanted to hug and squeeze anyone more than I want with Jack-O. That perfect, round face. That giant sweet smile. That immature, clumsy voice. The crouch. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I’ll never go down to one knee with a ring, watch our children grow up, and have her buried next to me when we die. I’d do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to marry Jack-O (or become Sol Badguy). A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can’t bury my face into her when I’m sad and lonely is too much to fucking bear. Why would That Fucking Man create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Does he know that perfection can’t please me?!?!?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can’t anymore. Fuck.

I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Potemkin.

Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Potemkin from Guilty Gear. It first came from a post in r/TheyBlamedTheBeasts which is a circlejerk sub on the main sub for Guilty Gear.

I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Potemkin. I try to play Ram. The Potemkin deals more damage. I try to play Axl. The Potemkin has more options. I try to play I-no. The Potemkin has HPB. I want to play Jack-o. I feel shit against Potemkin. I want to play Sol, Gio - they both have to get close to Potemkin. He hits me with a disjoint. I backdash megafist. I jumped slidehead. I got one combo in. He isn’t disturbed. I somehow do another. “That tickled a bit” He tells me. “Now it’s my turn again.” Potemkin inputs hammerfall. “thanks for hitting me, I now have meter.” I tried to backdash, but Potemkin PRCs the hammerfall. He gets close. I don’t have meter. “Guess this is the end.” 632146P. He says “四十八の必殺技「ポチョムキンバスター」.” There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, glue eating balance. What a cruel world.

Millia is too hot need help

Its the Witch Mercy copypasta but changed to Millia Rage from Guilty Gear.

Millia is too hot need help

Millia is too hot like, whenever I fight one I just have to throw the match, I need to see her victory animation and it turns me on so much the way she is, it's absurd tbh, I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Millia. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful breasts. The child bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Millia pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would daddy Daisuke create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.

Nagoriyuki Onigiri

It’s Nagoriyuki’s taunt voicelines from Guilty Gear: Strive

Your fundamentals are flawed. Strong emotions or motivations may only lend you immense strength for a time. But those with unfaltering foundations are able to respond to such momentary, explosive power with ease. Furthermore, what keeps such foundations solidly intact is food. This? This is an onigiri, a nutritious food that has been eaten in the far East since ancient times. I can tell you more about onigiri when we have a free moment.

A single serving of onigiri provides energy, carbohydrates, protein, fat, calcium, vitamin b1, vitamin b2, iron, zinc, and fiber. One can add fillings to include additional sources of nutrients to their liking. In addition to energy sources that fuel the brain and body. It also includes nutrients to help maintain them and build muscle.

The great thing about onigiri is that they are highly portable and have a long shelf life, one does not need to be concerned about when and where to eat them, and they require no dishware to serve. Consuming one raises one's muscle glycogen levels, essential for a warrior heading to battle. They are also equipped to satisfy an empty stomach, this is because as the rice cools down, the starch grows resistant, making it harder to absorb into the body. In other words, it's an easy snack to avoid overeating, it's tasty too.