Skip to content

gotta catch em all

I want to masturbate to all 807 Pokemon.

    You have to wank to official pokemon material. R34 doesn't count.
    I know that a lot of people want to catch em' all, but my job is a much bigger challenge. It is my goal to masturbate to all 898 Pokemon, plain and simple. I usually try to do it twice a day, regardless of the difficulties. At the end, I always win. I go on places like Deviantart, rule 34 and, occasionally e621 in order to achieve this massive goal, and when I finally do, I will become a Pokemon Master. Sometimes, it is easy. I can come in five minutes looking at Gardevoir or Lopunny pornos. Sometimes I come across major challenges that I have to overcome, in the case of Garbodor and Magikarp especially. I have to imagine the wet, sloppy fish mouth sucking on my cock without thinking about the actual fish itself. It is very hard, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve victory is immense. Not only do you get the generally pleasurable feeling from ejaculation, but you also know that you overcame an obstacle few men have dared to try. I have a total of 347 successful ejaculations total, but it only gets harder as I move on. When I see a Serperior, for instance, I have to think to myself "In what way can I imagine this creature in order to get off to it?" It is a puzzle for sure, considering I do not have a thing for (most) of these creatures, making it extremely entertaining and interesting for others to watch. I try to focus in on its somewhat beautiful face, and think about that more than the yards of snake behind it. I sometimes have issues with Pokemon like Machamp, who appear extremely male. But I always find a way. There has been no hurdle too steep for me. I want to be the very best. Anything lower does not cut it. And that is why I am beating off to pictures of Lucario on the Internet, mom. 

    Why I think Female looking Pokémons ment and designed for pornography

      Catch-n-Smash em ALL!
      "Gotta catch 'em all!" That's the popular sentence that most pokémon fans say. But for me, it's "Catch-n-Smash 'em All!". in-order to make Pokémon fans still happy with the Pokémon games. The Pokémon Company always have to make Sexy Mommy milkers looking pokémon to make the fans happy. Because Once the Hot Pokémon Enter the eyes. It gives a memetic effect that has a chance to make the subject who views it sexually attracted to it.
      
      The Pokémon Company THEMSELVES know that the fans are already sexually attracted to some pokémons. Like gardevoir or lopunny. And they still make hotter looking ones. Like cinderace and goodra. Like many other things on the internet. People make weird fricking fetishes. like vore. Which is the sexual practice of swallowing something alive. Even tho it's not possible in real life. Thus. The pokémon company HAD a reason to make the female-looking pokémons sexy. Because all of the weird crap that exist on the internet
      
      Also. Lopunny's design clearly makes "her" sexy. Even tho "she" is not an erotic character. The people who designed "her" clearly saw some pornography before. The proof is "her" juicy hips. People would try to have sexual pleasure with it. Since "her" hips are really REALLY wide.
      
      Also. Since the face-sitting fetish exists. Probably before the internet came in. Goodra is PERFECT for it. "Her" giant butt Is meant for it. Not also "she" is fat. Having sexual pleasure with "Her" Is clearly the perfect thing that exists in this big universe. "Her" farts are probably really attracting. Since "she" is big, slimy and fat. and of course. Thick
      
      Now for Cinderace. Lopunny's Best sexual friend. Cinderace's Foots Are pretty much great for foot fetish. "Her" Feet are really long and big. If you put "her" feet in your mouth. It's probably the tastiest thing in the world. Tickling "her" feet is pretty much fun for her and yourself. "Her" Feet smells like rose or even better.
      
      And now. for the most overrated one. Gardevoir. The queen of pokémons. Her mouth is probably the perfect thing for kissing. "She" would try to also kiss you if you would try to date "her". "Her" Lips feel like chewing a steak. Not only that. "Her" tongue is extremely flexible and long. And will dominate you in a tongue fight. Her moans sound really satisfying also.
      
      And that's pretty much it. You guys probably will call me a coomer but trust me. If pokémon was real. There would be a lot of human-pokémon hybrid organism. Anyways. I'll rather have a pokémon wife instead of a human one. smh