So i was masturbating with gatorade like a normal person and then I came. I was putting my dick in the juices of the gatorade and thrusted faster. Felt like heaven was sucking me. The thrusting was 2 minutes, I thrusted for too long. I tried to edge but i nutted in the bottle. Felt so good but now I'm worried if i am kicked out of NNN so am i?
You know what? Fuck you. Yeah, that's right. "Dude are you gonna do No Nut November?" I'm sick of hearing about Double-N November and all this Reddit shit. And you know what? Just to spite you, I blew my load at exactly 12:00 AM today, on November 1st. I edged for like 5 minutes to get it exactly on the tick, that's how much I hate you. "Oohh but you get an hour grace period to finish the last October nut!" Oh yeah? Well I NUTTED AGAIN AT 1:00 AM! You think your rules have any effect on me? Really? Are you one of those people who think it only counts when you wake up the morning of the 1st? That's big cope, first off. But second off, you'll be pleased to know that I DID IT AGAIN within 10 seconds of waking up. Just the thought of your dumbfounded face when I tell you that your arbitrary Reddit challenge can't affect me caused me to cum in my sleep at least once, so there's also that to consider. Every day I cum this entire month (Which will be every day btw) I'll be thinking of you, seething in a corner at the mere thought of my penile discharge. You cannot control me, and you especially cannot control my dick. This marks the end of the discussion.
I just nutted. That's right, endless semen pouring out of my cock with dopamine racing through my brain. And to top it off, I did it in November. Upset? Angry? Good, I hope you're angry. In fact, I purposefully nutted on the 1st of November, just out of spite for you and your... challenge? Challenge? This isn't a challenge - you not drowning in all the cum I'm going to release from my penis this November will be a challenge because there'll be enough cum to fill all the world's atmosphere when I'm done with this month! And December. And January - yes you silly inferior Redditor, I masturbate every single day and have done for the past five years and there is, quite literally, nothing you can do to stop me. Not only that, but I also have sex every two days and, again, there's nothing you can do to stop me nutting this November. Day in, day out, not cumming for clout: too bad. It may even surprise you to know I'm cumming right now, this instance. Go on, cry to your "girlfriend" about me, whilst she gets cummed in by a man who isn't willing to fuck over their sex life for thirty days for some karma.
I have failed and not failed NNN at the same time.
Last night on October 31st after playing some Call of Duty, I was tired and went to bed. I was pretty sure it was still on October 31st (before 00:00). I stayed in bed for a while and couldn't sleep, losing track of time. I decided to give it a go for one short round and started fapping. I ejaculated a big fat nut all over my shirt. It felt so good. Then I fell asleep.
The next morning (November 1st), I woke up and realized I did not look at the clock when I masturbated, meaning I could've cum in NNN. But there was also a possibility that I hadn't failed NNN. There's no way of knowing an approximate of when I beat my meat as I lost track of time. All I know is that it was around 00:00, so there is a 50/50 chance that I have failed NNN or have not failed NNN. But there is no way of knowing that unless I time travel back to October 31st and look at the time. I am currently in a quantum superposition of NNN. Therefore, I have failed and not failed NNN at the same time.
I have achieved Schrödinger's NNN.