Wish there was more hentai of Ranni. I’ve seen it all. I’ve dedicated more of my love to Ranni than the Tarnished did. Even thinking of Ranni has made me incredibly Hornsenty and have pulled out my Dark Moon Greatsword to start spamming R1 until it all turns to 2 nobodies fighting over nothing at the end of the world, John Darksoul says ‘Hand it over. That thing. Your darksoul.’ And it all fades to green. Please mark this post NSFW to prevent this from happening again to a poor, helpless soul like old Lonesome Gavlan.
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Promised Consort Radahn. The lore is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of hegelian dialetics most of the nuances will go over a typical players's head. There's also Miquella's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from schopenhauerian literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of lore, to realize that they're not just deep- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Promised Consort Radahn truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the Nietzschean Tragedy in Miquella's existencial catchphrase "Promise you'll be my consort," which itself is a cryptic reference to the fact that Miquella needs a consort. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Miquella's genius unfolds itself on their computer's screen. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Promised Consort Radahn and Miquella tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
Every copypasta of Malenia from Elden Ring. Malenia, Blade of Miquella and Goddess of Rot is an optional boss in Elden Ring that is well known for her difficulty and challenge.
I am going to have sex with Malenia from Elden Ring
I am going to have sex with Malenia from Elden Ring. I find Malenia in Elden Ring sexy. However, her body is made up of 87% Scarlet Rot, and 100% Scarlet Rot surrounds her. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with her. To remedy this, Malenia casts an incantation on me making me resistant to Scarlet Rot. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with Malenia, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure Malenia.
Malenia and I go to the Haligtree to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.
Before we went into the Haligtree, Malenia let all the Demigods know that we are just here for sex. The Demigods will not attack us because they know I am here at the Haligtree on sexual business. This includes the Omen. However, the Omen Mohg thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Miquella considering that I am having sex with Malenia. However, I have no interest in becoming an Elden Lord.
CURSE YOU MALENIA
CURSE YOU MALENIA
I HEREBY VOW YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY
THICKER THAN OATMEAL YOU MAY BE FOUL WOMAN
BUT I WILL RIDDLE WITH CUM YOUR ROTTEN ASS
WITH A HAIL OF WHITE
WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY SEMEN
God I fucking need rotussy
God I fucking need rotussy I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Malenia, Goddess of Rot. That perfect, curvy body. Those perky breasts. The child-bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I’ll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect offspring to become the new Demi-Gods. I’d do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Malenia, Goddess of Rot pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can’t is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Miyazaki create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can’t anymore. Fuck
I’d be licking her rotussy like it’s a 5 star meal
i know some people say it'd be gross to have sex with malenia because of the scarlet rot, but idgaf. I'd be licking her rotussy like it's a 5 star meal. I'll get chunks of rot and just swallow and keep going, even though they're all slimy like period clots. I'll bite into one as it flows into my mouth and it'll pop, splashing some of that stinky rot juice onto my tongue. it'll burn a lil but I'm a freak like that so the pain makes it better. she'll just wrap her thick, powerful thighs around my head and hump my face, leaving a red rot stain all over my lips and nose. after a while her tight asshole will pucker slightly, and I'll brace myself, but it'll be too late. It opens a little and a red-tinged fart hits me in my face like a gust of wind, making my eyes water and leaving a little residue on my skin. I'll cough and choke from the stench, but she'll just hold me down and force me to keep eating her out. after what feels like an eternity of plunging my tongue into her disgusting, sweaty, fetid pussy she'll grab my head and squirt out the same shit that's in the lake of rot, forcing me to drink it. it'll just keep flowing out of her as she moans loudly in release, not even caring that I'm being suffocated in-between her thighs, until my belly is bulging and glowing red from the inside, and I'm turned into a mindless sex slave, my mind gone from the rot consuming me
The first time I came across Malenia I was throbbing
The first time I came across Malenia (and the 152 subsequent times) I was throbbing. Yeah. This isn’t the most unusual thing in the world, but I’m not used to having actual honest boners that aren’t just forced to give me my dopamine. The shock of this experience made it hard to focus and I died right away, but I took a few deep breaths and went back into her boss room, although the erection hadn’t calmed down yet. I actually managed to get to her second phase and used the cutscene as a way to take a break, but then it happened... her armor came off. That beautiful stomach, that flowing red hair... she was perfect. I felt something weird but I paid it no mind since I was already beyond myself and in awe, but when she approached me in her newly revealed form I shot it straight into my pants, hands free. I fell in love with her after this ordeal and she indeed has never known defeat against me, because I only go inside to let her beat me up
After all of this happened I ordered a life sized Malenia statue and married it and have never been happier since 💕
Imagine how Malenia would feel fom the inside
Imagine how Malenia would feel fom the inside, her rot can be used as lube and protection. I could drink her rotted period blood and make myself a smoothie from it if I have no coffee, since she probably emits a lot of it, If i could I would use crusty rot chunks as a filling for a sandwich, it would give it a nice crunchy feeling and remind me of my favourite demigod. God I want to fill gas cylinders with her farts and inhale them instead of air just to keep myself sane when I'm not near her because every time I don't see her, the only thing can I do is imagine her sitting on my face making me inhale her smell and eat her out and if I do a good job she calls me a good dog and gives me a reward in a form of letting me lick her gorgeous feet 😔
Chadfrey (Godfrey)
LONG😱 and HARD🥵 didst thou goon. Horniest Warrior🫡. Edged by bussy of gold🌝. Be assured, the Milf/Dilf combo. Resteth close at hand.✊✊✊ ALAS! I am edged🥵🥵 To be granted red harlot once more.😏 Upon my name as Chadfrey, The first Sigma Lord!😎😎😎
VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #1
VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎 VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️👍👍👍👍 💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎
Wearing armor, casting magic, power stancing heavy weapons, using moonveil, using rivers of blood, using bleed weapons, using frost weapons, using any status ailment, using consumeables, leveling up, upgrading weapons, upgrading flasks, drinking flasks IS LITERALLY CHEATING and if you used any of them in your playthrough you should travel to japan and commit suduko in front of Micheal Zakis-san-sama-senpai-kuns front door
I HEREBY VOW, YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY!!! BEHOLD, A TRUE DRAKE WARRIOR!!! AND I, IGON, YOUR FEARS MADE FLESH!!! SOLID OF SCALE YOU MAY BE, FOUL DRAGON, BUT I WILL RIDDLE WITH HOLES YOUR ROTTEN HIDE!!! WITH A HAIL OF HARPOOOOONS!!! WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY BEING!!!
CURSE YOU BAYLE! 🐲 I hereby vow! 💯 You will rue this day! ☀️ Behold, a true drake warrior! 🤺 And I, Igon! 👨🦱
Your fear made flesh! 🥶 Solid of scale you might be, foul dragon... 💩 But I will riddle with holes your rotten hide! 🎯 With a hail of harpoons! 🏹 With every last dr
From a Reddit comment shitposting on the fact that Fromsoft has gone woke with the release of Shadow of the Erdtree DLC for Elden Ring.
Let me preface this by saying that I am not, and I repeat, not bad at souls games. In fact, I've played this genre since before it was a genre. So I know how to play these games, and how much you normally struggle when playing new ones. Now, all that out if the way, i am going to come out and say it. This dlc is really, really bad.
The world design is amazing, sure, and the bosses are really cool. But I have a different problem, one that you can't just learn the attack timing of.
I hate the gay people in this dlc. I have always been extremely homophobic, and the souls series might have put a bit of gayness here and there, but it was never this pronounced. Has fromsoft gone woke?
They try to mask it with incest, but it's not the same as brother and sister playing around (which is fine, completely normal). Brothers playing around is wrong, because it is a sin. In a familial situation, some sexual tension is natural but never towards other men. Me and my sister took baths together until we were in our late teens, but if I did that with my dad, or if I had a brother and saw him naked, that would be immoral and wrong.
The fact that fromsoft is pushing this makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I need them to change it. It ruins the entire dlc and pits a bad taste in my mouth, a worse taste than that time my mom accidentally peed in my mouth. And let me tell you, that woman's piss stank something fierce. Thats how serious this is.
Please, think of my religion. I dont care if you are some chinese or korean developers or something, you should nautraly, instinctively know that God wouldn't want this, Jesus wouldn't want this, and I'm sure Saint Trump wouldn't want this. 🙏
